I just got yelled at for keeping a handgun

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I guess I'll just have to avoid any and all conversation about guns. Out of sight, out of mind. Too bad, because it's an addictive and intricate facet of one's life.
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"To thine own self be true".......
 
If you are keeping the handgun for self defense you should be able to access it quickly and have it ready to use. The way you have it stored is makes retrieval slow, cumbersome, and requires two hands to grab the gun without losing the mag, insert mag, rack slide, and now your ready? In the middle of the night?

Get a good handgun safe and store your HD gun ready to go so you can safely grab it with one hand in complete darkness. If it takes you more than a few seconds (with a little practice) you need a different setup.

I find that many men are completely comfortable with guns laying around, but few women are. It seems like a compromise, but compared to what you are doing it is safer and quicker. Both of you will benefit and keep the peace.

My HD Safe/Gun
 
Whose owns the house?

If you do, SHE can decide to sleep on the couch or leave.

If SHE does, you should leave. You have encountered an irrational reaction and I guarantee it won't be the last.
 
when you said you lived in the country I thought to myself, are you kidding me? I used to live in a really crappy part of town where drive-by shootings, hold-ups and assaults were common place in the park next to my apartment. I wasn't into guns then and didn't carry and I never once had a problem. it's your right to protect yourself but feeding your paranoia to your gf is going a bit far
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Gaseous- are you saying rural areas are of lesser security concern for people who live there, like me?

Let me say this- I consider my area as a prime target for home invasions. I often tell people when the occasion comes up- think like a criminal. If I were a criminal, I'd consider targeting areas just like mine- the law is some time in getting there, the homes are spread out, and if something is going on in one of them, even shooting, it's not likely to be heard in even the closest other homes.

Word is that the bad element is moving outside of the populated areas to do their dirty work, not that this is anything worthy of a news-flash. Being prepared is not being paranoid.
 
Gaseous- are you saying rural areas are of lesser security concern for people who live there, like me?
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define rural? Are we talking suburban areas outside of the city? Or are we talking the country? if we're talking the suburbs then I would say there is a slightly higher possibility of problems arising from home invasions and such. But the further out you go the less the crime imo. I think it's assumed that the majority of households in the country have firearms, thus, it's highly unlikely a criminal will try to kill you.

I told her the gun is meant to protect us, to protect her against any random scumbags that may want to harm us. But she thinks living in the country excludes us from being victimized by robbers, meth heads, jihadists, communistic utopian mercenaries, jewel thieves, satanic sadomasochists, etc.
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this quote from the OP merely demonstrates where his wife is coming from. they're in the country, not downtown Chicago. It seems pretty arrogant to assume a jihadist, commie, jewel thief or whoever, will want to kick down your door and try to kill you. To me this is absurd. I have more to be fearful of living in a heavily populated urban center than living in the country, yet I don't carry or have a handgun in my house
 
But the further out you go the less the crime imo....they're in the country, not downtown Chicago. It seems pretty arrogant to assume a jihadist, commie, jewel thief or whoever, will want to kick down your door and try to kill you. To me this is absurd. I have more to be fearful of living in a heavily populated urban center than living in the country, yet I don't carry or have a handgun in my house
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And in my opinion, you're making a very large assumption on both counts. Crime happens everywhere, and that was the point of my other post- just because it's out "in the country" doesn't make the situation any less possible or more safe.

I remember from the past that you have had the same issues as the OP. But in my opinion, if you think it's "absurd" you're not fully grounded in reality. All you have to do is look around and you'll find plenty of reports of violent crimes happening out in rural areas.

Edit to add- there was just a story from OK this past week where a 12-year old girl shot a guy who had kicked down the door and come into the home. What do you think he was up to? Just saying "Hi"?
 
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It's not necessarily about fearing bad guys. The main issue here is that the person you are living with doesn't respect your personal choice to keep a "loaded" gun. A choice that in no way affects her. Your personal gun in your personal desk drawer should be of no consequence to anyone else. If they don't like it, they don't have to open your drawer.

If you want to compromise, move it to a lockable container that is quick to open, but keep it fully loaded.

Also, if you own the house or split the rent and you voluntarily slept on the couch, you were conceding that you were in the wrong. Unless she fully owns the place and gave you prior notice not to keep "loaded guns," you did nothing wrong.
 
Unspoken
I just got yelled at for keeping a handgun
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You're going to have some guys tell you to teach your GF about firearms ...etc and be patient. Others will suggest that you jump ship or toss her out...etc.

Me - Ask yourself why you haven't gotten married after 8 years of living together. Having a pistol with a partially inserted mag is the least of your issues. ;)
 
The correct response....

-I was a gun owner before we met
-I am a gun owner now
-if you leave, I will still be a gun owner. This is just not negotiable.

Where shall we go for dinner?
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This will really spin up your girlfriend at first , only because it is a statement containing logic, reason, and rational thinking. After she has a few days to cool down and talk it over with her advisors, you will then have a whole group of females who hate you and your logic....
 
My wife wouldn't even think of making me sleep on the couch, that being said I can somewhat understand your girlfriends feeling about a gun in the night stand drawer if she has never been around guns and her family never had guns. She could be afraid of the unknown to her. Sounds to me like she would benefit from some formal gun training class or something along those lines. On the other hand if she is very close minded about guns and simply refuses and suggestions of learning about them, then I believe you are in for a rough ride as far as owning any guns. The sleep on the couch part makes me think she already has established the pecking order in your relationship and she is the top pecker. No pun intended. If she didn't want to sleep in bed with you then she should have moved to the couch.
Are there children involved in the household ? That would dictate where and in what condition you have your guns in the house. My 1911 is loaded cocked and locked in my nightstand, but there is only myself and my wife in the house, our children are all grown and live on their own. Also it is not left in the nightstand when we are not home in case of a break-in, they won't find it.
I hope you reach some middle ground with your girlfriend since an 8 year relationship is a lot to walk away from if this is you only problem. My next question is how well has the relationship been going for 8 years and how is it that this issue only just came up after that much time together ?
 
How about, as has already been suggested, keeping it in a locked box?
Not only for satisfying the girl friend, but for general safety reasons.
Not the least of which is avoiding having to face a burglar who might find it.
An old friend was killed by his own gun that way.
 
g.willikers said:
Not the least of which is avoiding having to face a burglar who might find it.
An old friend was killed by his own gun that way.
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This is why you always keep a dog in the house, even a tiny dog.
No one's ever going to sneak up on you.
Sorry to hear about your friend.
 
Live-in girlfriend. Been together 8 years. I refuse to get married, for reasons that don't belong in this forum.
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Sorry, but to me that says there are more issues in the relationship than just a gun in a drawer. But, your life, your choices. You do deserve to be honest with the woman that shares your residence and she should know if and where potential dangers are. A weapon with the mag half inserted may be safe to you, but to someone with no knowledge of firearms it can be just as dangerous as one loaded with the safety off. Sleeping on the couch is not going to resolve the issue. You need to talk and come to a sensible compromise that makes both of you happy. Relationship counseling gleaned from an internet forum is worth exactly what it costs.......
 
This is not about guns. This is about control.
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This seems to be the crux of it. Women do like to control their environment. The problem is that at some point she will have a close call, or get frightened about something, turn to you and hand control back to you with a protect me statement.

You're the man, are responsible for her protection, and when she drops control back into your lap...you can't let her down. Women are good at this. You're going to have to handle this touchy situation carefully. You have to be able to take the reins at a moments notice and it could well be at a moment that something dreadful is going on.

Until she hands you back control in a tight spot you have to deal with it and keep the peace so she can feel all fuzzy and in control, yet be ready to say ok honey, I got your back and be prepared to do so. Touchy based on what info you've given us. There's more to this situation than meets the keyboard so far. Your business though, good luck.
 
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Quote. AH.74 I didn't take it that way, I took it as his way of trying to give a dose of reality- not frighten someone. People who think they will never, ever be a victim of violence are not living in the real world. The chances may be slim, but they exist.

You seem to think that people that don't have your view are not aware of the dangers around them. Just because they deal with it differently and choose not to live their lives fearing that something might happen. Its there choice not have a firearm just like its your choice to have firearms. I know the dangers but chose not to carry a firearm to me the odds of needing it are so low that i am willing to take the chance. Human nature being what it is people start carrying at certain times before you know it you can't go to the toilet without being armed. I just have to read posts on this forum to see evidence of that. Then you will stop going places that you are not allowed to carry at that stage you are letting fear of attack starting to influence your life. I take my chances but won't be going down that road MY CHOICE.
 
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