#1:
I am sure you guys are tired of these, sorry (newbie here)
Not at all. On the contrary, I am more than happy to give advice, because when I started out trying to start handloading 15 years ago ( I had no Internet), even people
selling reloading equipment were shall we say.....less than helpfull. Condescending would be a good word.....
Anyhoo.... #2: I would suggest keeping momma as happy as possible: keep the budget down. If momma ain't happy, nobody is happy.
Don't let your shooting habit affect your current budget. Find a way to pay for it. I quit smoking, and put the cigarette money into a gun collection. And reloading. Now I have a bullet habit.......
I was going to suggest you looking for a used 4" k frame Smith & Wesson ..... but a quick internet search indicated asking price of these guns is double what it was last time I looked...... It'd be cheaper to get a brand new Ruger sr9c.
Of the guns you listed, I've only shot the Bersa, the Rugers, and the Smith.
I would stay clear of any .380, as ammo is expensive and not always available. With the cost differential between 9mm and .380 per box, you could buy several guns over a ten year period, assuming you shot 100 rounds /month.
I like the Rugers. I have an sp101 (3" barrel, paid $400 for it used a couple of years ago) in .357 and like it, though I have not figured out a way to carry it comfortably IWB yet. My brother has an sr9c and likes it a lot (paid $425 NIB OTD). I shot it and it suprised me: I don't like striker fired guns, generally(1911 guy!), but I liked that one. Not as long a pull as the Glocks I fired.
I didn't like the Smith..... a large semi auto with a trigger pull harder than my 101?
My best suggestion is to learn to hand load, especially if you pick a .38 or .357 revolver, so you can afford to actually shoot the gun. It does not get any simpler or cost effective than reloading for .357/.38...... can be done with a set up that costs $100 and fits in two shoe boxes, including components.
Another great idea would be to get your wife involved in the gun thing...... that's the only way you will get a bigger budget for bullet launchers.