I acted differently because I had a side arm

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The issue is whether or not having a firearm has altered your behavior.


Well since the behavior here was provoking ab initio, the OP should put his gun away until he realizes that making comments at folks is innapropriate.

I learned to keep my big mouth shut long before I carried. I dont carry now because I am incapable of keeping my big mouth shut.

WildowowowAlaska ™©2002-2011
 
You'r totally right, I did step out of bounds. The guy did come out and kind of got off on a defense mode, maybe justified.
And then again, maybe not. Did he have a handicap plate or mirror tag? If not he needs to be told he's illegal. In my state, that is a hefty fine whether you're handicapped or not. If you're handicapped, take the time to get the permit and make sure you're the only one that uses it. My wife is handicapped and I'm so sick of seeing teenage girls come running out to their cars with the handicap tag around the mirror, rip it off, or not,:rolleyes: and take off like a bat out of hell. And I say something to everyone that isn't legal that I see. If I don't see them, I call the police. At times, I'll call them with a plate number if the above has convinced me they are not handicapped in any way. Many of the younger people are using their grandparents tags or have stolen them, another problem in this state. I've done this since long before I carried, nothing has changed simply because I carry a gun. These unthinking morons can consider themselves lucky when somebody says something to them rather than simply calling the police, once they've paid a fine for it. I called once when 4 of 5 parking spaces was in violation. I went up to the cop that showed and he asked, "Are you the one that called?" I said yes and he said, "Good for you, this is the motherlode." When you've dealt with a handicapped loved one for over 30 years, and you see these jackasses using what few spaces may be available, because they're too lazy to walk a bit, it becomes personal.
 
Stevie-Ray...

... there's a big difference between asking somebody if they are handicapped, and making stage whispers about them based on assumptions.

In the OP's case, he could even ask in a semi-humorous way. Example:

"I had to give up a foot to get my pass. What did they charge you?"

Or, there's the more formal and polite manner:

"I'm sorry, but did you realize you're in a handicapped spot?"

That option allows saving of face, in case the person actually is eligible. You could even say, "Sorry, you look so healthy I didn't realize," and turn it into a sort of compliment.

But charging in and challenging could be embarrassing, or worse. More than one person got told off for approaching my friend in such manner. Had they not had the sense to leave and/or look completely embarrassed when they found out she had MS, I'd have been tempted (being 20 and having a bit of a Sicilian temper at the time) to offer to help them qualify for their own pass.

I'm older and much more mellow, now. But I still recommend a courteous approach, as it's better (and safer) for all involved.

Calling the police is also a responsible alternative option.
 
MLeake

Unless you have some magical skills:

You can't tell the recent kidney transplant recipient.

You can't tell the heart surgery survivor.

You can't tell the passenger with a head injury that robs them of most of their balance.


Mleake, I don't have magical skills, and I agree, you can't tell for sure. No doubt there are lots of those who deserve to park there. There are also plenty who don't deserve it, but do anyway, and it is those that I'm sure you agree, are self-centered. The best way to deal with it..... as you might have noticed, was in my post. My approach (and advice) is to just remain quiet, which goes to the original subject of this thread. Avoiding confrontation.
 
I used to be a fan of the middle-finger salute as well as laying on my horn in traffic in my younger days. Age, fatherhood and daily concealed carry has curbed those immature behaviors.

Never start it, never escalate it, always de-escalate. Plus, you never know who else is packing and what their own stability-level is.
 
I learned quick. I uttered a curse at a driver who goosed the gas as I walked in front of his truck in a parking lot, he did it to boost his ego. Gets his jollies by making as if he is going to run over me. It wasnt difficult to read my lips to know what I said, and he followed me into the quickmart and confronted me. He was fronting to look good for his girlfriend, tried to goad me into going outside with him to continue the 'conversation'. I told him I had said all I needed to. I didn't want to get into a physical confrontation while I was carrying.
Now I keep my mouth shut if I am carrying.
 
I am much more subdued when I carry, I go out of my way to avoid offense even in situations that would normally cause me to comment.

For example I hate poor manners and when treated with poor manners I have no problem mentioning I would have appreciated better manners. If Im carrying more often than not I let it slide. I take pains to be non offensive.

None of this is to say I dont speak up or that I wouldnt defend myself but I am more reserved about all of it. Things just escolate too easily now days and if some horrible thing goes down I dont want to be the catalyst that starts it.
 
My wake up call

I was working at a pawnshop (still here to:barf:). We all carry openly in the store. This guy comes in asking me to make an offer on some rifles. They were junk and my offer reflected this. The guy gets upset with the offer and walks out. A couple minutes later he walks back in demanding an apology?????????what??????Apparently my offer offended him and i was going to apologize or else. Now I allow some testosterone to cloud my brain and I tell him to leave the store that I would sooner eat a bag of crap than apologize for something I didn't do. He became more hostile both verbally and in his mannerisms. He was definitely upset. Now he begins to make threats. He was a big man and there was no doubt that he could do exactly what he was threatening. I tell him that he needs to leave and that I'm calling the cops if he doesn't. He says he will not leave without getting his apology.......only says it really nasty and loaded with cuss words. I smile and say alright you dumb sob I'm gonna get you busted for trespassing. When I called him dumb it was as if electricity had passed through his body. It effected him and his anger lever increased a bunch. Now on the phone with 911 I cupped the phone an whispered they are coming to arrest you retard. He exploded with anger to the point that the 911 lady asked if that was the bad guy and assure me that officers were en route. I explain that the phone was pretty close to the bad guy and I didn't feel comfortable standing there and we ended the call. Now stupid me I go on an adjective fest. Thinking of every way to call this guy stupid I could muster. He was crying and spitting he was so angry. I was laughing and that made it even worst. At this point this guy grabs the counter top pass thru and begins to lift it while threatening to beat me to death (again only with bad words). My stupidity was about to force me to shoot an unarmed man. I squared up to him and told him if he came behind the counter I would shoot him. Thankfully he complied and finally left. Before LE arrived of course.

My behavior has since changed and I now swallow my pride regularly. I was lucky as was the other guy.
 
I have to go with Stevie-Ray on this one. Handicap spaces are one of my pet peeves and I've confronted more than one person over their use. IMO, if you can get out of your vehicle unassisted and WALK to the store, you have no business being in a handicap spot, sticker or not. People cruise right into one of those spots, walk to door, and then proceed to put on mile or so of foot traffic while they're in the mall or cruising through the Wal-mart isles. Sad to say my mother was a prime abuser.

I've never made rude comments to passengers, or stationary drivers, because I don't know the situation, but if I see you get out and head to the store under your own power I've got a comment to make.
 
I routinely use my handicap placard. If one looks at me getting out of the vehicle wearing long pants they might erroneously look at me as though I am playing the system. But, when wearing shorts, no one questions me. I walk okay getting out of the car and for the first 100 yards then my legs give up due to the massive leg trauma (missing muscle, missing bones, skin graphs, etc). My legs are mangled!

So I have been the guy judged by those by others that were totally unqualified to judge. I have had people question me and I pull up my pant leg and say “Kiss This!” They normally apologize and look stupid.

I guess I am saying that unless you have ALL the facts, you might not want to judge others. And, if you had questioned me about my use of the placard, I would have told you what Franklin said, “It is better to remain silent and thought the fool than it is to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”;)
 
It seems that some people just look to let there alligator mouth over load there;) humming bird ass.
 
If you feel that someone is in a handicapped zone that shouldn't be there, take down the license number, and call a cop.
 
Has anyoned stopped to think that maybe the guy in the Corvette, handicapped or not, could have been the one to just let it go? If I overhear someone make a snarky comment that I assume is directed at me, I don't get up and ask if they're talking about me. I don't say anything. I don't care. Maybe the other guy was the one looking to provoke. The OP walked away as opposed to thumping chests with the guy. We are all entitled to our opinions, and can say what we lik. However unpopular our comments may be to someone else, it's not neccesarily provocation. It's everyone's responsibilty to ignore everyone else when we don't like what we're hearing.
 
I think a careful re-read of the OP's post will show that the comment was not intentionally made in the presence of the Corvette driver.

He arrived at the store, saw the empty Corvette and commented to the passenger in an adjacent car.

Came out of the store, saw the empty Corvette still in place and made another comment to the passenger in the adjacent car who was also still there. The Corvette driver approached without being detected and overheard the comment.

So, while the comment may have been ill-advised, the accusations that the OP provoked a confrontation are somewhat off-base since he did not even realize the Corvette driver was anywhere near when he spoke.
 
eric reynolds

Has anyoned stopped to think that maybe the guy in the Corvette, handicapped or not, could have been the one to just let it go? If I overhear someone make a snarky comment that I assume is directed at me, I don't get up and ask if they're talking about me.

no, I haven't because what business do we have to judge his situation? for all we know his wife was about to pass from cancer after a ton of chemotherapy treatments.

So, while the comment may have been ill-advised, the accusations that the OP provoked a confrontation are somewhat off-base since he did not even realize the Corvette driver was anywhere near when he spoke.

I guess this is possible John, but I don't remember 8shot saying anything about not knowing mr corvette was anywhere in the vacinity.
 
Don't you have handicapped stickers in the US?

In order to use handicapped parking in Oz you have to get your Doctor to fill out a form for the Dept of Transport who issue a permit.

We still get people who are not entitled using them- but they are fined by the Police;
 
I never was too much for confrontations, I'm mostly a mild mannered person, very easygoing. In fact, as I posted awhile back, I've been hustled & panhandled a lot less since I started carrying. I don't act any differently toward people. I still chat with clerks, speak to people in lines, etc. I do watch my surroundings more carefully than before, I guess that shows. Maybe I somehow "walk a little taller" in my stride, I don't know. But I do get fewer panhandlers than I ever did before. I used to attract them like flies to honey.

My thinking in general is that I avoid potential trouble I can spot but I'm also better prepared if I run into trouble around a corner.
 
Some people here need to learn to READ!
Props to the OP for handling it cooly. I probably would not have.
I hope this thread doesn't degenerate into a "God, this country has gone down the crapper" thread, I'm so sick of hearing that line just because you had the misfortune of running into a jerk. Get over it.
 
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