heres a scenario....and its true

Two things, first off you have made me VERY happy to be a only child. Two you still haven't bought a cell phone? Okay WA cut him off of Colts and AR's until he gets one. After the last story where you were in the middle of street with the guy following you I thought you had learned.

Good luck on the family issue. When my mother's mother passed away her sister agreed with everything she did and her brother was afraid of my father and I so he wouldn't cross her.
 
We might be related. My aunt placed my grandmother in a nursing home, sold all her belongings, house, car, purchased a huge motor home, remodeled her house, didnt like the motorhome cause it was "to small" and sold it for probably half the price and purchased one with a queen size bed in the back. Then she built a garage big enough to cover it. After all that she declared my grandmother indingent and moved her to a state run facility. My grandmother told me other residents would come into her room and steal her stuff, she woke up several times being beat on by residents.

My grandmother saved all her life for retirement and got it all taken away.
Hope my aunt enjoys her "blood money" now, cause she cant take it to hell when she goes, and she is definately going.

When my dad died, they ravaged his house. So desperate to get into his safe they pried the door til it broke. Went to look for his guns, they had moved them all to their collections...
 
whoa nelly there billy!! don't want us to get creative when using packaging material for your next purchase, do you? :D

one thing has changed since the last incident: i am mobile. and getting fatter since i'm not walking to and from work every day. dont worry i'll get a cell phone, todays payday (should be getting a check from you as well, WA?) so i can splurge a little.



theres a mentality that i've only come across with people who come from the village, as most of my family has. this mentality moves the individual to live 'feast or famine'. in years past when commercial fishing was a lucrative business (pre-exxon valdez oil spill) every family in the village was rolling in money. family members who fell on hard times would never ask for a 'loan'. they'd just ask for 'money', and it was always given to them, no questions asked.
village life is obviously different than city life, and those who live in the village have virtually no debt to the outside world. their homes are usually bought from the village corporation, built on land owned by the corporation, and thus are bought for only the costs of the materials/labor. vehicles are purchased for cash, as are boats, atv's, etc.

now this mentality works in the village, that lifestyle is nothing to be ashamed of. but when that villager moves to the city and gets in debt, and is fully able to work but chooses not to, and has to survive by living on handouts, its quite dishonorable. having a generous matriarch doesn't help much either.

my grandmother has supported half of her children, and about 2/3's of her grandchildren over the years because she can't say 'No' to them. she knows they dont appreciate her, but as long as they keep coming back for handouts she has someone around to keep her company, take her to the store, do the little things.

now the aunt is realizing her free ride is nearing the end of the line. she hasnt paid any attention to the medical condition her mother is in, she refuses to realize that she will have to go into a nursing home, at the cost of $11,000 a month, and when cash reserves are used up, they will put a lien against her assets. the aunt is assusing my mother of stealing all grandmas money, and everyone else of 'cleaning her out!'

btw, mom has power of attorney of grandma so what she says goes. and the only will that has been found left out the aunt entirely. whenever my dear grandma dies, it will make this little situation look like quite the molehill.
 
okay i got a cell phone during lunch. i'm not cut off anymore, right?

i think this increases my ninjatude by 1 point!
whooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Ninjatude 17!
 
Keep your phone on vibrate,and remember. Family looks out for one another, when your relatives stop looking out for you they're no longer family.
 
I also will not flame you or judge. You have admitted what you did was wrong of your own conscience. You have represented situation, as you saw it, throughly. You made us understand what was said and what was done. IT TAKES A VERY UPSTANDING, GOOD MAN TO ADMIT THEY ARE WRONG AND ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES. You did what you felt was right, no matter how wrong it may have been in the legal sense. You diffused a potentially dangerous situation with out using direct violence on someone. Congrats on being a man able to admit his mistakes and point out to "Monday Morning QB's" where you screwed up without them having to tell you.
 
Excellent

Leadcounsel; thanks for the best and most concise explanation of the mechanics of a restraining order that I have ever seen. This should be printed and available to pass out to anyone who is having difficulty with an ex or otherwise. Outstanding.
John
Charlotte, NC
 
she'll call the police at the first sign of trouble. she'll never arm herself, thats not part of her nature. she is interested in the surefire flashlight as a distraction device, though. good thing i have two, she can have one.
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Does she regard it as "her nature" then to be wilfully and voluntarily at the mercy of anyone who does consider it "their nature" to arm themselves?

That is, after all, what she's doing. She's consigning herself to having less power over her future than anyone who might confront her with superior strength, or a weapon.

I hope you can get her to reconsider. But then if she doesn't value her own life that much...


It's a subject I wonder about. Take average Woman A. She hates guns, won't have anything to do with them. Won't even consider the idea of shooting someone to prevent herself being raped, or even murdered. (It's a mindset I can't even begin to relate to, caring so much about a rapist's life that I would prefer my own to be ended at his hands...!)

Put a kid into the picture. She now has a two-year-old daughter in a carseat in the car with her wherever she goes. Ask her about how she feels about not using a gun to defend against a carjacker/kidnaper now. Maybe she feels more like she should take responsibility for having some power to direct events when someone threatens. If she doesn't, I think she's a pitiful parent. Any parent of a helpless child, who does not ensure that he/she can fend off attack for the sake of that child's safety is pitiful, in my book. Should not be in charge of caring for, much less teaching, that child.

Sorry to digress.

-blackmind
 
Wynterbourne's story had a very familiar ring.

My family started placing more value in the material things rather than just old fashioned closeness. I had a brother, two sisters, and mother (my dad died over 40 years ago). I had to say goodby to my family about 10 years ago because the only things they cared about were material and just couldn't accept life as it is. Almost like a bunch of vultures. My wife and I are now enjoying our two children and 5 grandchildren without their influence. If I am wrong for doing this I guess I will pay the penalty in the "next go around". I fear that my situation might have deteriorated to what occured in yours. I just cut it off sooner.
 
Does she regard it as "her nature" then to be wilfully and voluntarily at the mercy of anyone who does consider it "their nature" to arm themselves?
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actually, in a way, she does. i'm trying to think back to when she was responsible for all three of us kids, and i dont think theres ever been a point where she had to be a protector of us. if anything she shielded us from the right things.

so the obvious question is 'Why?'
well the answers kind of complicated, so bear with me.
i was raised in a home with strict rules and just about anything fun was forbidden. my mothers conscience moved her to try and instill in her kids that anything that didnt glorify [insert higher power's name of your choice here] was abhorrant. many of the people she associated with in church advocated 'non-violent reactions', the whole 'turn your other cheek' philosophy.
over the years i've came to the conclusion that if one decides to be a martyr it should be for the right reasons. johnny crackhead looking to split my skull so he can get my cash is not the right reason for me to be a martyr.
my mother isnt physically strong. if she was attacked by anyone it would be only by pure luck that she might fight them off. in a way i dont worry much about her getting accosted by a stranger. i do think she has at least one guardian angel on full time duty making sure she doesnt get in a car accident (shes the worlds worst driver EVER) and that angel probably makes sure badguys dont approach her.

because of her beliefs, i dont think that the possibility of death scares her much. she is convinced she knows what happens to a soul at death and it doesnt frighten her. but thats really the kind of thing that can only be proven when you are staring death in the face, right? i think i'll not fear death either, but who knows? i might be soiling my pants begging for my life when that day comes.

so obviously it distressed my mother when i got interested in guns. at first it was a hobby, just to go to the range every now and then, and i wasnt interested in carrying.
then when i did start carrying, she agreed that it did make sense to be prepared for the worst.
she has even gotten used to my carrying openly. and this last week she made the milestone step of asking me to be her armed protector.
and this morning when i left her home, she got to see the big evil ninja-ed AR in all its glory, and she was okay with that being on hand to protect her home.

what did make me happy was that she didnt give me a chance to gift her a surefire, she said 'you have more than one of those, right?' :D
'yeah mom, here keep this with you at all times, and remember i'm just a phone call away if you need anything.'
 
I think most people have had this experiance or knows someone who has. With me it was on my moms side when my grandparents were dying, they died within a couple of weeks of each other, I had a unlce and a cousin, the son of a different uncle, who were causing problems. The uncle was just a jerk but the cousin is a real pice of s### who has stolen quite abit of money from my grandparents over the years which does not include the money that he would borrow and just not pay back it is in the tens of thousands of dollars. My grandparents would just keep giving him money.

Now when they both got sick I think it really scared my cousin because he saw his money source drying up so he started making threats like if he did not get everthing grandma and grandpa had people would be sorry because it all belonged to him. When grandpa died first and my cousin realized that all the inheritance was going to be equally split between their children and the grandkids were not getting anything, he really went nuts. He threatend to kill my mom and dad and all of their kids and their familys and his dad because they were in charge of the will. However my father spent nearly 30 years as a LEO before he retired and 10 years after in various LEO capacities so we had the local sheriff 10 deputies and 3 Highway patrolmen all at the funeral and when my cousin showed up,not armed, he was promply arrested and held for over 48 hours. It is my understanding that he was quitely informed as to what would happen to him if he ever threatend a LEO family again this part comes from another family member who spoke with my cousin afterward and said that the cops really scared the blank out of him.

Now while all this was going on my mom would get upset if anybody started talking bad about her brother or nephew she would not defend them just get upset if we said bad things about them. To this day still she would like to work things out with them. My dad explained it to me this way Your mom still rembers playing with her brothers as alittle girl growing up with them on a farm when they all were best friends, she rembers her little brother holding a brand new baby that he was so proud of and seeing your cousin grow up, its hard for her too seperate that from today. While its easy for you to realize that they are nothing but trash because thats what they have been your whole life.

So Spacemanspiff it is probably hard for your mom to realize how bad her sister might be because she still looks at her through colored glasses of yester years while all you see is your mom's nut case sister.
 
it is probably hard for your mom to realize how bad her sister might be because she still looks at her through colored glasses of yester years while all you see is your mom's nut case sister.
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...that's what I was getting at with my ramblings. People have a way of looking past the bad in their relatives. The ability grows with age and really blossoms when something bad happens to a relative.

The classic example is the the interview with the family member of a morally bankrupt multiply felonious piece of garbage who's just gotten his ticket punched by a cop. It's rare for them to have even a single negative thing to say about him.
 
So Spacemanspiff it is probably hard for your mom to realize how bad her sister might be because she still looks at her through colored glasses of yester years while all you see is your mom's nut case sister
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in my familys case, that probably isnt the case. the aunt is 15 yrs or more younger than my mother, and if i recall correctly mom had already 'left the nest' before she could ever really bond with her sister.
they've never gotten along.

been two days since the aunts shown up anywhere. who knows>? maybe they did go back to kodiak?

spacemanforalighterscenarioseemynewthreadspiff
 
Do anything just don't get creative with the packing material. My FFL holder rolls his eyes when I open a package with that burst of confetti. Maybe its because I am so excitted that I did into it like a kid at Christmas.

Seriously good luck on family problems. I have been very lucky in that we have never had those types of problems.
 
update!

well the aunt hasnt done anything yet, at least nothing illegal or violent. what the aunt has done however, will prove to be much worse in the long run, for the entire family.

they convinced gram to sign a statement revoking my mothers powers of attorney. the lawyer delivered the papers saturday afternoon. the same day they were having a garage sale of grams possessions. the gods seemed to have smiled on them however. they sold everything but the kitchen table by 3pm. couches, end tables, bedroom sets, dressers, everything. in about 6 hours. the goal being, to have the home ready to put on the market, to fund the nursing home gram will have to be placed in.

the aunt showed up as everyone was leaving gram's, jaws dropped to the floor when they saw that there was nothing in the home.

think the aunt was upset enough by being denied money? whoooo boy! this has got to have her laying napalm! however, she still hasnt sweettalked gram into granting her power of attorney and thus she cant get at the money. doesnt matter, since theres only one small bank account that has grams name on it. years ago she had mom transfer all her money into moms accounts. just a matter of time though before they serve papers ordering mom to hand the money over. which she'll do, now she doesnt want to shoulder the responsibilities of making sure all of grams affairs are in order, the aunt has promised to do it all.

oh yeah, they also found out i took grams dog to the pound. no one could care for the dog anymore, its been miserable in an empty home with no one to keep company, it was the right thing to do. turns out the dog was put to sleep. so i'm now on the doo-doo list. almost makes me wish i did what i originally intended to do, in a field with a .22 and a shovel.

so now mom is going to move in with her best friend until this blows over. i'll keep patrolling the neighborhood and do what i can.

the sad part is, now there will be no one who will spend time with gram. the aunt won't, she just wants the money.
 
spacemanspiff.....

Dude, I love the name....Calvin and Hobbes is the best!!!

Anyhow, I know exactly how you feel. One of my aunts did the same thing. My family has always been really tight. Even with this aunt. But when she found out that my grandmother was terminally ill, oooohhhh boy, she was so far up my grandmother's ass that you couldn't tell where she began and my grandmother ended. The worse part is that she is an aunt by marriage (:eek: ). She thought that my uncle had power of attorney, but he didn't tell her that he signed off that right to his sister. My aunt would go everyday and visit my grandmother. She would take weeks off of work just to go to the hospital and visit. Most everyone thought that she was as nice as could be. Up until my younger cousin repeated a phone call more or less word for word that a call my aunt had with one of her friends about getting everything. And then she found out that my uncle signed power of attorney away. She tried to have my grandmother sign off on it to. It got to the point where no one would communicate with them anymore. My aunt finally got the point. There is still bitter feelings amongst us, but she didn't do anything really stupid and threaten anyone. (I think this is because most of my older cousins and other uncles carry!) I'm sure she figured out to keep her mouth shot when they were around.

Anyhow, I hope your situation improves and best of luck to you and your mom.
 
It really sucks when its your own family, but as hard as it may be to do, I agree with the restraining order for the safety of both your mother and grandmother, if you still have to support her some how, make it a set amount each month direct deposited into an account...maybe where she can only take out so much at one time, thus limiting her spending habits.

sorry...thats the best i could suggest before you camp out with the scatter gun.
 
Another restraining order story

Spacemanspiff,

If you haven't already, get the restraining order ASAP! A good friend of mine and his girlfriend moved into an apartment in my building. Things were going good until she went nuts thinking he was cheating. Next thing you know she thinks she's Mike Tyson with a Bruce Lee Kick and starts wailing on him. Now she use to be a gymnast, which means she's little but strong so when she kicks him in the face it actually does some damage. Anyway he shoves her away, they make up and the cycle begins.

Well this process goes on for about two months and he can't take it anymore. She starts getting louder, more beligerent, and combative because he won't hit her and hasn't called the police. (For the record I'm not suggesting hitting women, I'm refering to her noticing his lack of response)

The straw that broke the camels back was when she tells her mom he's hitting her and she calls the police. Now he didn't hit her at all. In fact he was in my place laying low and cooling out. Well we met the police at the door and they talked with both of them and told them both the same thing. WHOEVER GETS THE RESTRAINING ORDER FIRST, WINS!

Next thing you know I'm doing 60 in a 45 to get to the court house at 5:30 in the morning. Luckily her car isn't working so we get the jump start and end up in court getting an emergency restraining order first. Suffice to say in the long end of it he won and kept the apartment plus all his stuff she was trying to take. The restraining order CYA's your A$$ in case the poop hits the fan. Good luck, I'll be praying for ya.
 
...the sad part is, now there will be no one who will spend time with gram.
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Spiff, YOU'RE there. This is an opportunity to give yourself and your gram an incredible gift of time and precious memories. Don't let it pass you by.:)
 
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