I particularly hate recoil and snappy guns since I have small Hands and have Trouble of Holding it right.
An carry gun for me is an mouse gun. So, in an small package I would not eve think of Shooting an 9mm Luger.
For some insight here... my 380 LCP is acutely less pleasant to shoot than my PM9.
The PM9 is very soft-shooting for its size, even on defense ammo.