I have worked with inexperienced shooters who dislike recoil a lot. I go in this order:
1) 22 revolver - Single Six is by far my preference
2) 22 auto - Browning Buck Mark or Ruger Mark - they are both great
3) 32 revolver (Single Six is my fav but there are plenty of others)
4) 32 auto - the Colt 1903 - or another large/heavy enough to not be snappy
5) 380 - Colt Govt model - heavy steel, locked breech, minimal recoil
A 32 magnum revolver that can shoot 32 H&R magnum is easy to shoot and effective for SD.
A 380 is also reasonable for SD. The Colt is really just a copy of a Spanish pistol, IIRC. It is noticeably bigger and heavier than the Mustang. My recoil-shy daughter had no problems shooting it when she was 10.
After these come things like the (sweet) CZ83, big heavy 38's and big heavy 9mm's.
Over several decades I have taught dozens of people to shoot. This is the progression that works for me.
Here is the Colt. If you prefer low-recoil autos for SD, this is as good as it gets: