Another vote for the .22LR. Two main reasons, one, light recoil, #2, she already KNOWS the round.
ANY .22lr she is comfortable with will do fine. Forget about getting her a defense gun. It's too soon. And don't sneer at the .22LR for defense. A .22 she knows and is comfortable with is better than a bigger gun she is scared of.
The Ruger .22 Semis are good guns.
and is a proven, accurate and durable piece - but difficult to clean (understatement).
I think "difficult to clean" is a drastic OVERSTATEMENT. What they are is difficult to take apart and put back together. Cleaning them isn't difficult, and I have 33+ years of personal experience with a Ruger Mk 1, that says there is no need to take them apart to clean them. Everything you need to do to keep them running, and running well can be done without ever taking the gun apart.
Now, if the gun gets dunked under water, that's a different matter, but normal cleaning doesn't require disassembly.
Another option to consider (and I know you said she was leaning towards and auto) is the revolver, specifical the Single Action revolver. Forget, for now, a concealed carry pistol, the small DA guns can be very difficult to shoot well.
See if she might consider something like a Ruger Single Six or even a Super Bearcat (which is smaller). Simple to operate, accurate, and you have the added advantage that you can shoot shorts or even CB caps which are the lightest recoiling rounds out there.
This should be a pistol she is, or could get comfortable with. Something to learn to shoot with. Because it is a gun, it does have real world defensive use, even if not as well suited as larger calibers. Save those for later. IF you do, eventually she might come to use them too. Too much gun, too soon, ruins people, often for life.
My mother, at 4'10 (and a half!)" 100lbs who wore a size 3.5 ring loved her Super BEARCAT .22, and she was such a good shot with it, her nickname was "Annie Oakley".
have her get the gun she likes, no matter if its not the "best one" or not the "right one" for this or that. A semi auto "sport" pistol like a Ruger or Browning that she can, and will shoot is a good choice.
Save the "serious" guns for later down the road, when she has both experience and confidence, and you might find her a willing student. On the other hand, she might also just want to stick to "her" pistol, and really, there's nothing wrong with that, either. A lady with a gun, any gun she can, and will use confidently is better off than one without, I think.
Don't force her into your, or anyone's idea of the "best gun". Patience will pay dividends in the long run.
Good Luck!