Goofy Things Said At Gun Shops

23. The police don't want us to have guns, because they are jack boot wearing, government thugs.
34. DHS has a massive training base, where they have a mock town, and run "take over" drills. They are preparing to take over all of the major cities in the US.
After Boston, can't say I can laugh at these anymore :[
 
Thank you, Tom. You are absolutely correct about hearing stuff from both sides of the counter. I've heard some things while on the customer side of the counter that blow my mind.

Since it's my day off, I've got time to bang out a few more of these. All of them are actually based on things customers have said in our stores. The rubber band comment was the biggest leap. That one came from a customer telling me that snipers are trained to be precise with everything from long range rifles, to throwing knives. One toss, one kill?

More things I've learned from customers:

21. Delta recruits Marines and SEALs at boot camp. They ask you if you want to join. If you say, "yes", they send a letter to your family saying that you died in training, and send you to a special school. That's why nobody knows anyone from Delta. Once at the special school, Delta guys are taught things like BJJ, how to fly planes, and sniper skills. After training, they get all of their missions from the CIA. Delta "agents" can never contact their families. If you say, "no", they make you sign a contract that says you can't tell anyone about them. (I was told this by a guy who said he was, "going to do Delta, but he wanted a family".) It appears that the "hush hush" contract is void in gun stores.

22. "When the SHTF, the SEALs and SF guys are going to kill everybody and take over." When I was told this, I was working the shop with a coworker who spent 8 years with Army SF. To his credit, all he said was, "Sir, I think they would just let all of the stupid people kill each other."

23. The police don't want us to have guns, because they are jack boot wearing, government thugs.

24. Polished stainless = gangster.

25. Nickel plated .380s = more gangster.

26. Desert Eagles can shoot through tank armor. That's why Israelis carry them.

27. The 10mm and .40 S&W are the same round. The Glock 20 is the full size. The Glock 22 is the slim frame. Smith & Wesson "bought the US rights" to the round, which is why some of it is called .40 S&W.

28. Sam Colt invented the 1911.

29. The 1911 was originally called the ".45 APC", which stands for ".45 Automatic Pistol by Colt".

30. The .45 was developed because the Army wanted a round bigger than the 9 and .40.

31. The CZ 75 is a clone of the Browning Hi-Power.

32. Bushmaster secretly machines cracks into their AR lowers. They fall apart if you put too many rounds through them, too fast.

33. The UN has a massive army, with soldiers from all of its member countries. They wear blue helmets, and enforce "UN Laws" all over the world. They are going to help Obama confiscate our guns.

34. DHS has a massive training base, where they have a mock town, and run "take over" drills. They are preparing to take over all of the major cities in the US. (as an aside: DHS must have half of the US population working for them, to be able to consider the schemes attributed to them).

35. DHS can hack into your laptop through the power cord. You shouldn't access your gun safe if your computers are plugged in.

36. Rock River Armory is a company from the Philipines that makes quality ARs and inexpensive 1911s.

37. Caracal is owned by Al Quaeda. The slides are machined so that they will break when they get a few thousand rounds through them.

38. The US government pays private pilots massive amounts of money to fly their personal, small planes over suspected terrorist compounds and take surveillance photos. Sometimes, the terrorists shoot at them. The pilots who do this kind of dangerous work usually have a friend ride shotgun with an AR-10, so they can shoot back. The government pays so much because they don't want to send Air Force pilots or planes, so they can say they weren't involved if these brave pilots get caught. It is common for these pilots to have to fly as low as 100 feet above the compounds. (this guy comes in every month and a half or so. He has been working up a shopping list of all of the guns he needs. So far, he wants a Sig 716 Patrol so he can shoot back at terrorists, and says he "needs two 1911s, in case he gets shot down". He's entertaining, but I wouldn't sell this man any guns.)

39. "Domestic violence convictions are a stupid reason to get denied for a purchase."

40. "4473s are stupid. You can lie, and check 'no' on everything!" When told this, I asked, "Sir, are you telling me you're about to get denied?" He said, "no". I keyed him into NICS. He got denied. He acknowledged having served time on drug convictions. He then asked if I keyed his answers in correctly, and made sure that I understood that he checked 'no' on all of the boxes on the bottom. He then said that I could go ahead and sell him the gun, and he would straighten it all out with his lawyer. I apologized for not being able to do so, and offered to call the police so that they could get him in contact with a lawyer right away. He said I lost a customer, and that he would buy from the competition. I apologized, and suggested that I could make it up to him by calling the police, if he wanted to wait for a ride to another shop. He said my customer service skills suck. I apologized, and offered to call the police so that he could file a report against me. He left.

These are hilarious!!! You've made the top two posts on this thread




Ike
 
33. The UN has a massive army, with soldiers from all of its member countries. They wear blue helmets, and enforce "UN Laws" all over the world. They are going to help Obama confiscate our guns.

34. DHS has a massive training base, where they have a mock town, and run "take over" drills. They are preparing to take over all of the major cities in the US. (as an aside: DHS must have half of the US population working for them, to be able to consider the schemes attributed to them).

35. DHS can hack into your laptop through the power cord. You shouldn't access your gun safe if your computers are plugged in.

36. Rock River Armory is a company from the Philipines that makes quality ARs and inexpensive 1911s.

37. Caracal is owned by Al Quaeda. The slides are machined so that they will break when they get a few thousand rounds through them.

38. The US government pays private pilots massive amounts of money to fly their personal, small planes over suspected terrorist compounds and take surveillance photos. Sometimes, the terrorists shoot at them. The pilots who do this kind of dangerous work usually have a friend ride shotgun with an AR-10, so they can shoot back. The government pays so much because they don't want to send Air Force pilots or planes, so they can say they weren't involved if these brave pilots get caught. It is common for these pilots to have to fly as low as 100 feet above the compounds. (this guy comes in every month and a half or so. He has been working up a shopping list of all of the guns he needs. So far, he wants a Sig 716 Patrol so he can shoot back at terrorists, and says he "needs two 1911s, in case he gets shot down". He's entertaining, but I wouldn't sell this man any guns.)

I almost died laughing at these ones.
 
RBid said:
40. "4473s are stupid. You can lie, and check 'no' on everything!" When told this, I asked, "Sir, are you telling me you're about to get denied?" He said, "no". I keyed him into NICS. He got denied. He acknowledged having served time on drug convictions. He then asked if I keyed his answers in correctly, and made sure that I understood that he checked 'no' on all of the boxes on the bottom. He then said that I could go ahead and sell him the gun, and he would straighten it all out with his lawyer. I apologized for not being able to do so, and offered to call the police so that they could get him in contact with a lawyer right away. He said I lost a customer, and that he would buy from the competition. I apologized, and suggested that I could make it up to him by calling the police, if he wanted to wait for a ride to another shop. He said my customer service skills suck. I apologized, and offered to call the police so that he could file a report against me. He left.
I think we can safely declare RBid the winner of this thread! :D
 
35. DHS can hack into your laptop through the power cord. You shouldn't access your gun safe if your computers are plugged in.
I now have coffee in my sinuses. Even so, I cannot bring myself to be angry.

You, sir, are a genius.
 
Hahaha there's so much humor that 90% of the population wouldn't get!

My favorites the rock river armory one! I still perk my ears up when somebody brings up rock river and I think they are talking about my 1911
 
truth & myths about modern spec ops....

There are a few common myths & errors about US miltary spec ops(ISA CAG or Delta SEALs Para-Rescue SWCC etc).
The overall size of special operations as nearly doubled since 09/11/2001. The US armed forces have modified how troops are selected to include females.
In the US Army most "Delta" or tier one level operators come from the combat arms.
Soldiers in Ranger units infantry armor etc. The Army wasnt secret or hiding anything about Delta when I was in but it wasnt talked about openly when I was on active duty.

There are many Stolen Valor posers & dirtballs out there. Real SEALs can tell you the class number & most spec ops guys are quiet professionals.

Clyde F
 
Last edited by a moderator:
This guy I work with was complaining he couldn't hit anything with his beretta 9mm at the range over the weekend. He said he thought it was his ammo, he told me he was shooting tracer rounds. This other guy butts in and proceeded to tell us the following

"tracer rounds are inaccurate because as they burn off the weight of the bullet deteriorates causing the bullet to go off course"

The guy that can't shoot looked at him and said "I didn't even think about that, your probably right" and they then kept on talking bout it as I shook my head and walked away
 
Post 93 is disturbing, considering the range that burned to the ground this year due to some idiot firing tracers into the rubberized backstop...
 
My most recent one irritated me until I googled it:

I rented an SR9c and (as I was trained) tried to use the "slide release lever" (as I recalled it being labeled, though I now see they are being called slide stops or slide stop levers) to release the slide. It was so stiff I couldn't push it down with my thumb, no matter how hard I tried. I noticed the lever/slide stop was considerably smaller than what I was used to, so I thought maybe it was just designed to be that stiff/difficult to move. It was a well-broken in rental gun, so it wasn't as if it was because it was brand new.
I talked to the guy behind the counter and told him my concerns. His response was, "Well, yeah, it's stiff! That's not what that's used for! You'll break it if you try to release the slide by pushing that down!" I smirked, and didn't want to disrespect him because he's a competition shooter and a person whose opinion I generally respected until I heard that. I asked him if he was serious, and he said, "Yes. You have to "slingshot" it. That's what they teach you in the military and the police academies." I let him know that's not how I was trained in the academy and he just gave me a puzzled look. A year later, I bought an SR9c from a different shop (an hour away, vs. 7 minutes away, but I fully respect the owner/operator's opinions) and the "slide stop" works just fine for releasing the slide. It's not nearly as stiff and I'm not worried about breaking it.

Another time, when I was younger, I saw a case full of Raven p-25s with $300 price tags on them. I had gotten mine from a friend for $25 dollars. I had to ask what the deal is. The guy behind the counter told me, "Those are just for show. Those tags a joke. He pointed to a sign on the top of the case that said "These are junk. We will not sell these to our friends." He went on to explain that these were notorious for "blowing up in people's hands", causing severe injuries. I, of course, was concerned. I did all the research I could and couldn't find any documented cases of them "blowing up." Years later, I still have my p-25 and love it.
 
nd he said, "Yes. You have to "slingshot" it. That's what they teach you in the military and the police academies." I let him know that's not how I was trained in the academy and he just gave me a puzzled look.
Techniques differ but a lot do teach the slingshot method because the motor skills required are not as fine as those required to release the slide stop lever. I tend to use the lever.
 
My most recent one irritated me until I googled it:

I rented an SR9c and (as I was trained) tried to use the "slide release lever" (as I recalled it being labeled, though I now see they are being called slide stops or slide stop levers) to release the slide. It was so stiff I couldn't push it down with my thumb, no matter how hard I tried. I noticed the lever/slide stop was considerably smaller than what I was used to, so I thought maybe it was just designed to be that stiff/difficult to move. It was a well-broken in rental gun, so it wasn't as if it was because it was brand new.
I talked to the guy behind the counter and told him my concerns. His response was, "Well, yeah, it's stiff! That's not what that's used for! You'll break it if you try to release the slide by pushing that down!" I smirked, and didn't want to disrespect him because he's a competition shooter and a person whose opinion I generally respected until I heard that. I asked him if he was serious, and he said, "Yes. You have to "slingshot" it. That's what they teach you in the military and the police academies." I let him know that's not how I was trained in the academy and he just gave me a puzzled look. A year later, I bought an SR9c from a different shop (an hour away, vs. 7 minutes away, but I fully respect the owner/operator's opinions) and the "slide stop" works just fine for releasing the slide. It's not nearly as stiff and I'm not worried about breaking it.

Another time, when I was younger, I saw a case full of Raven p-25s with $300 price tags on them. I had gotten mine from a friend for $25 dollars. I had to ask what the deal is. The guy behind the counter told me, "Those are just for show. Those tags a joke. He pointed to a sign on the top of the case that said "These are junk. We will not sell these to our friends." He went on to explain that these were notorious for "blowing up in people's hands", causing severe injuries. I, of course, was concerned. I did all the research I could and couldn't find any documented cases of them "blowing up." Years later, I still have my p-25 and love it.

Was the empty mag in the pistol when you were using the slide stop? I see people trying to fight the follower all day, every day... even guys who are legitimate 'gun guys'.
 
Another great one was hearing a guy talking about being trained by former sniper. He was saying he was taught to take metal polish and polish the bullets before he goes out shooting. He also claimed that he could make a cold bore shot at 1760 with a .308. He said that scopes were over rated and that his "sniper buddy" bragged about the Counter Sniper scopes. That they were actually made by USO and just labeled differently because of he military contracts...lol. He continued to say he could estimate "holdover with a standard crosshair and not need any of the fancy "dot reticles". All of the expensive scopes were made to the exact same quality of he Centerpoints and Tascos you buy at WalMart. This is the same guy that told everyone a 50 BMG and .338 Lapua would kill a man just from the pressure of the bullet passing close to him. Evidently his sniper buddy took many arms and legs off by the 50BMG passing by with so much force.

Sometimes I just listen to hear people weave their web, more and more...you can always bet they are so complex webs that they trap themselves in it...
 
Another from a patron looking for 7.62x25. They were looking for the military version (7.62x25 Tok), not the straight necked civilian (7.62x38 Nagant) version. He was wanting to use the bottlenecked rnd in his nagant revolver. I tried to explain the difference but he would not hear it.
 
Back
Top