I wanted to take a bit to put this down, and to see what sorts of response this gets. It is something that I genuinely believe, I do every day, and I am raising my kids to do.
Smile.
I. Disarm
Ia) De-stress.
Try this, if you feel the need:
Make extended eye contact with someone. Don't smile.
Now make extended eye conctact, and add a smile.
If you don't smile, and people recognize that you are looking at them, they often elevate, in terms of tension. Whether they are self conscious, agitated, anxious, or mistrustful, that mood is very likely to get worse, even if only a little.
On the other hand, if you smile at someone in any of those states, it may very well serve to lift their spirits, at least a little.
Ib) Dissuade.
Smiling at someone is a basic connection, on a person-to-person basis. It humanizes you, and presents the opportunity for someone to view you in a positive light. Generally speaking, people have a harder time harming people with whom they have identified, even in a small way. There are those to whom this doesn't apply, but they are an extreme minority. Consequently, if you establish even a brief moment of connection, you may reduce the will of the other person to harm you.
1c) Disarm
Another general truth is that people like the path of least resistance. Establishing eye contact is an indication of being self assured. In a very subtle way, this marks you as "not meek".
II. Recon
IIa) Cover
Interestingly, smiling at someone is generally perceived as a reason to make eye contact with them. It is a 'get out of jail free' card, when looking at just about anybody. Flashing that smile affords you a moment to study somebody.
IIb) Reading Response
When you smile at someone, their reaction will instantly provide you with information about their emotional state. If you have any social aptitude whatsoever, you should be able to recognize indicators of tension.
In practice:
You have a concealed carry license, and are in 'code yellow'. You're on your way to a restaurant in the city, and have to walk a few blocks from where you park. While you're walking, about a block away from a higher visibility/lower threat area, someone walking toward you on the sidewalk looks up a little.
You look right at them, smile, nod, and say, "Howdy", or similar.
At this point, a potential 'bad guy' knows:
1) you have just extended kindness to him. This is often a rare treat, for people who live rough lives.
2) you're not overtly timid
3) you know what he looks like, before he has had a chance to do anything incriminating.
4) you are going to be paying attention to him, even as you both continue walking, because a response may be forthcoming.
...and YOU know:
1) what he looks like
2) a ballpark emotional state, based on his reaction to your smile/greeting
3) you are *expected* to pay attention to him, during the typical period of time in which a response would be forthcoming. At a normal walking speed, by the time pleasantries have been exchanged, you are passing each other.
Thoughts?
If you feel like I'm an idiot, please be gentle. I'll be receptive to constructive criticism, and I respect differing opinions.
Smile.
I. Disarm
Ia) De-stress.
Try this, if you feel the need:
Make extended eye contact with someone. Don't smile.
Now make extended eye conctact, and add a smile.
If you don't smile, and people recognize that you are looking at them, they often elevate, in terms of tension. Whether they are self conscious, agitated, anxious, or mistrustful, that mood is very likely to get worse, even if only a little.
On the other hand, if you smile at someone in any of those states, it may very well serve to lift their spirits, at least a little.
Ib) Dissuade.
Smiling at someone is a basic connection, on a person-to-person basis. It humanizes you, and presents the opportunity for someone to view you in a positive light. Generally speaking, people have a harder time harming people with whom they have identified, even in a small way. There are those to whom this doesn't apply, but they are an extreme minority. Consequently, if you establish even a brief moment of connection, you may reduce the will of the other person to harm you.
1c) Disarm
Another general truth is that people like the path of least resistance. Establishing eye contact is an indication of being self assured. In a very subtle way, this marks you as "not meek".
II. Recon
IIa) Cover
Interestingly, smiling at someone is generally perceived as a reason to make eye contact with them. It is a 'get out of jail free' card, when looking at just about anybody. Flashing that smile affords you a moment to study somebody.
IIb) Reading Response
When you smile at someone, their reaction will instantly provide you with information about their emotional state. If you have any social aptitude whatsoever, you should be able to recognize indicators of tension.
In practice:
You have a concealed carry license, and are in 'code yellow'. You're on your way to a restaurant in the city, and have to walk a few blocks from where you park. While you're walking, about a block away from a higher visibility/lower threat area, someone walking toward you on the sidewalk looks up a little.
You look right at them, smile, nod, and say, "Howdy", or similar.
At this point, a potential 'bad guy' knows:
1) you have just extended kindness to him. This is often a rare treat, for people who live rough lives.
2) you're not overtly timid
3) you know what he looks like, before he has had a chance to do anything incriminating.
4) you are going to be paying attention to him, even as you both continue walking, because a response may be forthcoming.
...and YOU know:
1) what he looks like
2) a ballpark emotional state, based on his reaction to your smile/greeting
3) you are *expected* to pay attention to him, during the typical period of time in which a response would be forthcoming. At a normal walking speed, by the time pleasantries have been exchanged, you are passing each other.
Thoughts?
If you feel like I'm an idiot, please be gentle. I'll be receptive to constructive criticism, and I respect differing opinions.