Convincing

I was thinking as I read this thread that you don't need a "trick" you need to address her concerns. Spats McGee is on base. You listen to and address her concerns, and you can reasonably expect her to listen to and address your concerns, especially since your concerns include protecting your loved ones, including her, from harm. Help her to understand that accidents are the result of negligence and that you have every intention of being careful and of educating her as well. Honest exchanges, not tricks, are the way to resolve differences between committed partners.
 
First piece of info I will give is do not be a broken record. It will set her more deeply into the "forget about it" mindset.

If you have her real reasons of why she is against it, and have somewhat adressed them, and she still is saying no. Leave her the heck alone about it. She is not going to suddenly change her mind. You are going to agitate her. If by some rare chance she does give in, and say yes. It would probably be long time if ever that she would go shooting with you.Not only that she will probably get angry every time you take the gun out, or go shooting.

If by some chance she is openminded enough to show her Pax's site.


http://www.corneredcat.com/
 
I must admit I kind of :rolleyes: at the "let me" attitude.
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and
gently point out that you have as much right to own one as she does not to
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I must say that I agree with both of these viewpoints. Of course, my wife knew I had a thing for firearms when we met years ago, so it wasn't like I had to start from scratch.

She would no more dream of telling me I can't have guns than I would of telling her she can't read murder mysteries or whatever else she likes to do.

It's a partnership, not a servant/master relationship.
 
well... you need to understand the reasons that may make her afraid of having a gun in the house. it may be a simple little thing such as 'ammunition exploding if stored next to the furnace register", or it could be a psychological thing were having the ability to protect herself would make her realize that no one else is legally responsible for her protection, many people dont like that.

but if her unhappiness with firearms comes from that brady campaign group, let her read up on their 'carry a condom for the rapist" campaign from a decade ago.
 
I think I understand what his wife is worried about. All this stuff about how bad things can happen and he will use the gun to protect her is not going to work if I am correct about what is bothering her. All sorts of talk about gun safety and what not is not going to help. I think she has clearly elucidated to her husband that she is afraid that in a moment of rage or strangeness, he will suddenly and unexpectedly shoot her for unexplainable, unprovoked reasons. She is not afraid of the random bad guy breaking into the house. She is afraid of him, (her husband). And yes, there are stories in the news about people who just go nuts and kill their loved ones. We just had a story about that guy Josh somethingoranother who killed his wife and then blew up the house after hatcheting his two boys to death. People do unexpectedly go nuts. Trying to argue with her that it does not happen is silly since the news media describe the cases all the time. THAT is the real issue the original poster has to overcome if he wants to have a gun in the house.

When I was a little kid, I was deathly afraid of policemen. Every time I saw one, I could not help but notice the big revolver in the holster affixed to the side of the man's gun belt. I had somehow come to believe that if a policeman saw me and decided for whatever reason that he did not like me, he could then draw the gun and shoot me. I would tremble, tear up, and hide whenever I saw a policeman. Even when we had a small fire at our house and a policeman came and saved us by putting out the fire with a fire extinguisher, I was not able to relax around them. It was not until I was about 10 years old and we had some family situations where the police had to come and literally saved me and my sisters that I eventually realized that they were not going to just shoot me for the heck of it. My fears were irrational and based on beliefs that were not founded in fact or reality, or even in my own experience (of never actually being shot by a policeman). Eventually I grew up, my thinking matured, and I no longer have that fear. Sure, this guy's wife is an adult, not a little boy with little boy logic and little boy lack of reality. But just because she is chronologically an adult does not mean that her fears seem illogical to her. And, at this point she is unlikely to grow out of her fear or be talked out of her fear or be convinced by articles that reinforce how dangerous, how randomly dangerous, the world is around us. All that will do is make her more scared of random, unprovoked, unexplainable violence being committed by her own husband. Think about that. I'm sure he is a great guy who would never lift a finger in anger at her, but she fears something much worse.
 
I finally won my battle after the kids were out of the house on their own by taking her to a shooting course. There she learned proper gun handling and they did some live fire practice. Then she was ok and now enjoys going to the range with me and shooting her .22lr.

I think her opposition is what most people have and that is not understanding a gun and how to handle one.

Hope it works out for you.

Dave
 
My wife trusts me, and does not give me orders....nor do I push her around, we respect each others decisions.

Even though she's not a fan, she goes to the range with me when invited, and watches me allow my twin 5 year old boys assist me with gun cleaning.

If your wife know its important to you, that should be convincing enough.
 
My first post was pretty much the same question on this forum. Just picked up gun #9 tonight. Her biggest problem with it was that we have kids. When I brought home #1 she asked me if I would buy her a gun.
Get a safe, buy a gun show her you are responsible and watch the collection grow.
 
N.Farley,

Since I have no clue about anything regarding your experience with firearms or your level of responsibility with them, I can not really offer advise based upon any knowledge.

Assuming . . . .
1) that you are skilled,
2) responsible,
3) can control any impulses towards revenge, and
4) that you are knowledgeable about the laws of your jurisdiction on the use of deadly force; . . . . .

Then you might try to understand the reason for your wife's prohibition. It might be a phobia about an inanimate object. A properly designed and maintained handgun is not dangerous.

Some people are actually hoplophobes. They suffer from an irrational fear of inanimate objects, specifically firearms.

My sister fears that her husband will act wrongly, angrily, impulsively and thus does not want him to have access to firearms; when he is drinking. You could say he doesn't drink much; only when he is awake.

At an appropriate time you could try to drop those tried and true (cliche) phrases that have a lot of meaning packed in to a few words; such as:

When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
When you really need a gun, you need it badly.
 
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ask her who she trust more to protect the family....You right now when something bad happens......or a cop she doesnt know 15 minutes later after whatever bad did happen and your all f worded
 
All, please be advised that another "be a man" post has been deleted. These sorts of responses aren't helpful, nor are they appropriate.
 
I was just wondering if anyone had any tricks on how to convince your wife to let me have a handgun in the house. She says it's not safe-
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Well, if used improperly, cars aren't safe either. Nor are knives, chain saws, lawn mowers, car jacks, anything electrical, boats, hand dyers (just read the warning label sometime) ... etc.

Talk to her about wanting one more from the perspective of it being a hobby. To say my wife hates guns would be the understatement of the year, but after 7 years she has finally come to tolerate them as guns are my only hobby. But recently, she has also become accepting of my viewpoint that if something bad DID occur, my biggest fear would be being powerless to do anything about it.

I think I've come to the conclusion to get one and have a safe and eventually she will get used to it.
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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If you really want to **** her off (I mean to the point of her shoving your new safe where the sun don't shine), then go ahead and do it.

I did finally get reluctant agreement from my wife to allow a gun in the house 7 years ago. Even with that, we have had some MAJOR arguments over the years. Our marriage nearly ended in divorce a couple different times. Only recently have things become more conciliatory, where we both respect each others differences, likes and dislikes (I agree not to try to get her into guns and try to keep them out of her sight as much as possible, and she agrees to respect my enjoyment of my hobby and my desire to be her and our son's protector). Finally, after the long hard road, we may finally be figuring out a way to accept each other's differences and live in harmony.

I promise, going out and "getting a gun anyway" will likely end in disaster for your marriage. As I said, even getting buy in (albeit, shakily) from my wife resulted in years of strife.
 
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"It's not the odds, but the stakes."

-You are very unlikey to be involved in a serious car crash today, but you would be wise to put on your seat belt, just in case.

-It is extremely unlikely that your house will catch fire in the middle of the night, but you would be wise to have a working smoke detector on every level of the home, just in case.

-It is very unlikely that you will have a grease fire in the kitchen, but having the equipment and knoledge to deal with it are very good things to have, just in case.

The same can be said of life insurance, homeowners/renters insurance, life jackets, extra food and water, and a host of other things ...... not likely to be needed at any given time, but absolutely priceless when needed.

You might start with these other things ...... reasonable people can be convinced by reasonable arguments. Unreasonable people should be avoided.
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Excellent post. You could also discuss this sort of thing with your wife. After all, house fires are rare so why bother with a fire extinguisher or working smoke alarms? It's the severity of the consequences of not being ready, as jimbob put it.
 
Perhaps you can show her this thread to show your sincerity and the honest answers from forum members. My experiences don't equal yours. Like a bunch of guys, my interest in guns precedes my GF and the ex-wife and was discussed beforehand. Some people develop this interest after being with someone. This makes things a tad bit more difficult but not impossible. Good luck. Hopefully soon, we will be hearing about your purchase ;)
 
My wife is more liberal than I am on certain things (e.g., guns).
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I am a liberal. I have around 10 guns. Liberal has nothing to do with it. I grew up around guns and with guns.

As for the OP.

Tough situation. She is not liberal, she is a control problem. The rant is chaff.

It sounds like you do not have a gun issue, you have a relationship issue.

Its not her hours, the house belongs to both of you.

You may give here 51% control in things like the decor, but she has to listen to you on house issues and any other issue you come across (money as well).

As there are no kids, its a control problem. She seems to have a control problem, not a gun problem.

You need to get a book on marriage and relationships. You may need counseling (and trust me, what I once thought was ALL my wife's problem, I found I was adding my own end of sand in the gears).

She may have to woman up, but you also may need to man up.

At the end of the day, if you cannot have a relationship that is of mutual respect, then it is time to consider the alternatives
 
Provide her with a few possessions requiring protection. Too bad Valentine's Day has passed, but you can do the following without a speciall occassion.

Buy her a nice Rolex watch, a three carat solitare ring, a pair of one carrat solitare earrings, and a nice emerald necklace heavily laden in gold. Explain to her fifty to sixty thousand in jewelry is too valuable to just leave laying around without protection.

Then see if can scrape together enough money to buy the cheapest gun down at the local pawn shop.
 
I am a liberal. I have around 10 guns. Liberal has nothing to do with it. I grew up around guns and with guns.
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Same here, in our house. Being liberal has NOTHING to do with it.

RC20 nailed it down a couple posts up. It's about control, and not a sound basis for a relationship.
 
Wow - Control thing, huh? Could be. I like Occum's razor - simple answers are better - maybe she's just afraid of guns - guns are mean - they kill - THEY ARE LOUD! Not trying to sound sexist here and I KNOW there are plenty of females could shoot circles around me before I got one round off. But seriously, could we agree that there are lots of females just don't like guns?

Guns have extremey strong emotional impact on some folks.

OP - my wife convinced me a coulple of years ago to get a gun. Since that time I've bought many - love to shoot 'em and never get enough range time, but my wife? I saw her shoot a gun ONE time and I know that its probably the only time in her life she will ever shoot, unless someone is breaking into our house - which is the original reason she wanted me to buy a gun! See? EMOTIONAL REACTION! After she shot her Ruger GP100 just that one time, the experience was too real for her, I think and now she has no further interset. I asked her if the recoil was too strong (shooting 38's not 357's) and she said no. For months after that, I begged her to come to the range, but not any more.

So, I am the gunkeeper in the house - all of my guns are stored in locked containers and they are always locked. Our Home Defense gun is within easy reach in a gun safe, ready to fire within seconds. I'd rather have it unlocked in my nightstand drawer, but that is the compromise I made with my wife.
 
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But seriously, could we agree that there are lots of females just don't like guns?
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There are plenty of males that don't like guns either. I don't think it has a lot to do with gender. My wife likes guns, a lot in fact.
 
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