Convincing

My wife was pretty resistant to the idea of a pistol in the house. A few things swung her my way:

1) Invest in a gun safe. Decent safes are not that expensive.
2) I own multiple safes--one for pistols and another for ammo. Even I am more comfortable knowing that my bullets and pistols aren't mixed.
3) Discuss home intrusion. You don't need to go over the top with scare tactics, but instead paint the picture of your complete home intrusion plan. When you start asking "what will you do, if..." you may get a blank look on her face as she realizes she hasn't thought it though, and thinks about how helpless she would feel. Then when presented as an element of a plan, a pistol is a perfectly reasonable part.
4) Tailor your pitch to the audience's politics.​

My wife is more liberal than I am on certain things (e.g., guns). A lot of folks around here have some pretty strong opinions on gun ownership and the reasons for such, and without opening up a political can of worms...neither of us is convinced that the right to bear arms is to protect against tyranny as much to protect your family. Me trying to tell her that it was my patriotic duty to own guns to protect us from the man would not get me very far--in contrast with explaining that it is our duty to our family to have basic protections in place. Once that element is admitted, objections usually revert back to safety, which can be addressed by numbers 1 and 2, above.

If all else fails, someone once had a quote in their signature line that said something like "the object is to own so many pistols that your wife won't notice when the collection is added to or subtracted from." ;)
 
My wife won't touch my guns. But she has said that since I have them she feels safer when I am home. And since I have my CC she feels safer when we are running around the city.
 
NF, 2/17/12

I've had three long term relationships or marriages in the past 13 years and here is my approach. First I usually don't carry on our first few dates. When we are asking each other about our hobbies I bring up target shooting (not defensive shooting). Then I collect newspaper articles from around the States showing how innocent people are hurt or killed by attackers, and articles of people (especially women) defending themselves successfully with firearms. I show some of the best ones to my date, especially the ones which happened locally so they understand that no one is always safe. Then I offer to take them shooting -always a .22 in a low-pressure setting (meaning we are the only ones at the range). Eventually they either enjoy the shooting or understand why I enjoy it and any objections whither away. And if we are in some seedy location they say they are glad I carry a weapon and feel more secure.

Those women who don't understand and continually object are politely shown the door. So far no relationship problems with firearms. Good luck.

best wishes- oldandslow
 
I probably can't help you since my approach would likely be totally wrong. Did your wife not know you were a "gun person" before you were married or maybe you weren't then?
Without knowing your situation, my first response would be to get control of your household. If you have one of those everything equal input situations, find something she has/does that is counter to your wishes or choices. Exploit that as leverage to get what you want.
I don't ask the Grouch Attack for permission to buy, use, or carry guns. She has admitted that she never feels unsafe or in danger when going somewhere if I'm armed.
Good Luck
 
Tell her you are going on a weekend fishing trip. And every night come back in the middle of the night and violently bang on the door, like your trying to break the door down. Or better yet have one of your buddies do it while your there with her. You gotta act scared, and during some point say to her " you see, if we had a gun we would be able to PROTECT ourselves!" I'm sure you will have all sorts of weapons after this...... LOL
 
Are there any children in the house, or is it possible for other peolpe to be in your home and have access to your guns? Gun safes are highly recomended. Also, I did not see anyone mention the locks you can put on a gun. Then, there is the one gun you keep by your bed that would not be locked.- as others have mentioned, get one with a decocker.

Or get a revolver.
 
I'm with Indi. My wife had to see the need before she would even agree that she needs a gun in the house when I'm not there. I've always had them so it was never a convincing act to get them in the house. It took seeing the story of the young lady who defended her infants life after her husband passed to open her eyes to the reality of needing to be able to defend herself and the kids. Now she is agreeing to take a class and possibly even carry one day. Not sure how to appeal to your wife, but mine has to see things for herself before she comes around.
 
Tell her that you would feel better knowing you had a tool that could make it easier to protect her. To counteract the stories of gun violence, show her articles where guns have been used to save lives and discuss those with her. As well, gently point out that you have as much right to own one as she does not to. Delicately! :D If you are still able, let us know how that goes over. ;)
 
Perhaps you can find one of the pink or other colored guns in a small caliber to be of HER liking. Have her buy the first gun for her.
 
My number of women customers is increasing all the time as more and more women want to be able to protect themselves. I think women in general aren't as comfortable with guns laying around the house as men are and that's especially true with kids in the house. If you are talking about a handgun for home defense invest in a good quick access handgun safe and she will feel more comfortable and you will have access if needed very quickly.
 
I reviesed the plan..... tell your friend to keep violently knocking on the door, then you go to the door and yell "i have a gun and I will use it!" Or something of that nature, at which point the knocking stops....LOL then you go shopping for a revolver for the kitchen, semi auto w/ tactical light and night sights for the bedroom, and a Shotty just in case. In a year or so you introduce her to a rifle....LOL. good luck. My wife's hearing used to go bad everytime I said gun. Then I went to Houston for three days. I came back and she was eager to learn.
 
N.Farley said:
Hey everyone,

I was just wondering if anyone had any tricks on how to convince your wife to let me have a handgun in the house. She says it's not safe-.- the whole point I thought was for safety but she thinks otherwise and has no care for discussion. Am I fighting a lost battle??
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You need to figure out exactly what her fears are, and make a plan to eliminate those fears. For example:

1) Fear: "We have kids, and they might get hurt." Answer: I plan to get a gun safe, and store the gun in the safe when I'm not carrying it. Besides, I can't really teach them about gun safety without a gun, and not teaching them gun safety won't make them any safer when they eventually encounter a gun somewhere else, will it?

2) Fear: "You might accidentally shoot me." Answer: That's really not an issue if I follow the four safety rules, which are . . . .
 
Sounds to me like you have a wife problem, not a gun problem. I am being facetious, of course, but I am honestly baffled by these threads which I have seen more than a few of. My wife and I have been happily married for 14 years because we are on the same page with each other. She knew about my passion for guns before we married, I didn't spring it on her after the honeymoon. I actually sold a gun to buy her ring, and she replaced it several years later when we could afford it. My wife counts on me to defend her and the children and to use what ever tools I deem necessary. She trusts me to not do anything unsafe or dangerous to myself, her or the children. I really don't have any advice for you bud, I think that ship may have already sailed...
 
If she is willing to discuss it rationally, perhaps having her visit www.corneredcat.com would help show her why you think a gun is a wise idea. If she's not willing to read it herself, you might be able to cherry pick a few good talking points for the next time you discuss it with her.
 
Well we have zero kids it's just us two. She from the beginning always frowned upon the idea of a firearm in her house(she thinks its her even tho it's in my name)

Hopefully will get to her about defense since it's her life id protect in case of an emergency.

Keep the suggestions coming. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem.


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Another thing to add, I've always had a passion fur guns. Her father and I went to a range once before he passed. It's not like this is a new fad that started last week.

She always asks me If I have the power to shoot another human being and my answer is I hope I never have to do that, but if it came down to me and her living then yes. Then she will rant about I highly doubt someone will rob us. Im sure it will take time to warm up to the situation. Wish the process could be sped up.


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She always asks me If I have the power to shoot another human being and my answer is I hope I never have to do that, but if it came down to me and her living then yes. Then she will rant about I highly doubt someone will rob us. Im sure it will take time to warm up to the situation. Wish the process could be sped up.
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"It's not the odds, but the stakes."

-You are very unlikey to be involved in a serious car crash today, but you would be wise to put on your seat belt, just in case.

-It is extremely unlikely that your house will catch fire in the middle of the night, but you would be wise to have a working smoke detector on every level of the home, just in case.

-It is very unlikely that you will have a grease fire in the kitchen, but having the equipment and knoledge to deal with it are very good things to have, just in case.

The same can be said of life insurance, homeowners/renters insurance, life jackets, extra food and water, and a host of other things ...... not likely to be needed at any given time, but absolutely priceless when needed.

You might start with these other things ...... reasonable people can be convinced by reasonable arguments. Unreasonable people should be avoided.
 
Good advice. I think I've come to the conclusion to get one and have a safe and eventually she will get used to it.

Thanks for the advice a lot of things to try and consider. Anyone know how to delete posts??


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+1 to persistence and a slow introduction/education about firearms.

When I moved in with my girlfriend she was made me keep my firearms out of the house. A few weeks ago she randomly gave me the go ahead to get a safe and keep them in the house. All it took was some gentle persistence and educating her a little bit at a time about firearms and why her fears are unfounded.
 
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