I agree totally that a gun is a "not very likely to be needed, but essential if actually needed" tool. I wonder what percentage of folks on this and other gun forums have carried for years if not decades and have never, not once, had to even draw their weapon for their own or family defense. Yet even if this is true, it does not change the need for vigilance and preparedness.
Very recently I was on a week-long road trip to NY, where of course I could not be carrying, nor even keep a gun in my car, without real risk to myself legally. The entire week was uneventful; in fact, the who ambience of NYC was so much better than in the past, and I never felt endangered or threatened despite being a senior citizen with some physical disabilities and no offsetting firearm. But that does not change the reality that I well could have needed to defend myself and would have been unable to do so.
Each to their own, and for me, paranoia is the guy who lives in a good area, yet keeps loaded guns in every room and in the pocket of his pajamas as well as in a sealed plastic bag inside the shower stall. Or the guy who carries three handguns, six magazines of ammo, two combat knives and wears a bulletproof vest when he goes grocery shopping. But the individual who carries a handgun, who keeps a firearm or two available for the chance of a household intruder, and trains to be ready if needed to use his firearm, is just being prudent and cautious.