CZ-75SA
I like low recoiling 9mm guns, and I have small hands (not much bigger than my wife's hands) - so maybe you'd like the same guns my wife and I like?
The CZ-75SA is the softest recoiling 9mm I've shot, and my wife liked it best among the 9's she's shot. If you put a pair of wood grips on it, the grip size is comfortable for smaller hands. It is basically the same size as the Beretta, but not as "chunky" feeling, and IMO, a lot softer shooting.
I've got a CZ-75 PCR and a Browning HiPower, and in terms of felt recoil, I'd rate them from lowest to highest as CZ-75SA, BHP and then CZ-75PCR. But the PCR is already a very comfortable gun to shoot. The BHP has the smallest grip and would be the most comfortable for shooters with small hands - I'd say the grips, from smallest to largest would be BHP, CZ-75PCR and then CZ-75SA. The PCR and the BHP are very, very close in size, but the BHP is a flatter gun, and has a short trigger pull. The steel framed CZ compacts may be a good compromise, but for the money, I'd rather have the CZ-75SA and put narrow grips on them.
I would not recommend a Sig P239 for low recoil - while it is one of the best made guns you can buy, it is fairly light and has a high bore axis, giving it (in my experience) a fairly sharp muzzle flip.
My recommendation is to find the largest/heaviest gun with the smallest grip. If you dislike recoil stay away from small, light guns (like polymer or alloy compacts).
You could also look into one of the 9mm 1911's, a single stack 1911 has a nice grip for smaller hands, and is a heavy gun for a 9mm. If you had a lot of money laying around, one of those long slide STI 1911's look really sweet.