Attack of the Fattest Ninja EVA!

S

spacemanspiff

New member
well, homage must be paid to my idol: chris "i am one with the universe" farley. but he didnt have a surefire!!!

Warning! The following attached picture is not for the faint of heart, and may induce nauseu, hyperventilation, and feelings of anxiety by any who choose to view it. Merely clicking on the link to this thread guarantees that the Fat Ninja will be held harmless against any liability or property damage arising directly or indirectly from the viewing of the picture.

















This is your last chance. exit the thread now, or forever bow before my Ninjatude!
 
alright this'll hammer my free low-bandwidth file space, but who cares?? i'm so tactical it will hurt you to look at me!
fattestninja.jpg
 
balaclava by gijoes surplus
gloves by kenai
shirt by sportsmans warehouse
pants by royal robbins
shoes by ecco
belt by rafters gunleather (yes theres a belt in there somewhere!)

rifle by colt
mag by beta
foreend by surefire
vertical foregrip/light by surefire
optic by trijicon
glasses by oakley

bellyfat overhanging waistline by mcdonalds, burger king, carls jr, taco bell, and pizza hut
 
LOL! :D And I thought the "tacti-roll" was extra armor there ... :eek:

Seriously, since you're so tactical, shouldn't you have three or four extra handguns attached to you ... and a NEF .308 slung across your back with all the ATI accessories on it!
 
leif, look at my immense girth. i WAS hiding 3 handguns (3oclock iwb, sob, drop thigh holster) and i had a 870 bungeed to the back of my balaclava (that way i dont lose my shotgun or my balaclava too easily).
:D
 
Space,

No offense but I suggest you lose some weight. You are much more likely to die of a heart attack than in any combat situation. Even if you do get into a combat situation, you are a much larger target (pun intended). Besides, you will not be as mobile or agile as someone in better physical shape.

I am not poking fun at you or any overweight people. You have acknowledged that you have a weight problem... now do something about it before it kills you! Even if you don't have a heart attack, there are tons of problems that stem from obesity. Diabetes is one of the more common ones. Sides effects of that disease may include poor circulation, leading to wounds that don't heal nad possible loss of limbs from gangrene setting in. Diabetics can also get glaucoma and go blind. Thta would really hurt your shooting skills. Take care and go easy on the fast food. We like having you around on this forum!
 
My son left the house with this mother to go trick or treating a little while ago. He looked remarkably similar (minus the tacti-roll of course). :D
 
i think the point was to give us all a break of humor in our day, not audition for the next Biggest Loser. His weight, his choice.

Thanks for the laugh
 
Space,

No offense but I suggest you lose some weight. You are much more likely to die of a heart attack than in any combat situation. Even if you do get into a combat situation, you are a much larger target (pun intended). Besides, you will not be as mobile or agile as someone in better physical shape.

I am not poking fun at you or any overweight people. You have acknowledged that you have a weight problem... now do something about it before it kills you! Even if you don't have a heart attack, there are tons of problems that stem from obesity. Diabetes is one of the more common ones. Sides effects of that disease may include poor circulation, leading to wounds that don't heal nad possible loss of limbs from gangrene setting in. Diabetics can also get glaucoma and go blind. Thta would really hurt your shooting skills. Take care and go easy on the fast food. We like having you around on this forum!
Click to expand...

Good thing you were here to tell him that. I'm sure he never knew . . . . ;)

(You're right, and I've lost 110 pounds in the last year myself for all those reasons, but believe me, nobody is fat because they think it's cool.)
 
i'm so tactical it will hurt you to look at me!
Click to expand...
You were SO right! WHY didn't I listen? WHY? :eek:

Nice glasses.

But I'm confused--where is EVA? That's the only reason I opened this thread...
 
What??? No Samurai sword (that's stamped, "made in Pakistan") slug over your back???

I note that WildAlaska has a spy window in his office, probably to keep you from goofing off! :D :p

CaptyouneedtocrackthewhiponhimmoreWildCharlie
 
Spiffy,

Thanks agan for a great Ninja pose. (btw, Wild, your shop is clean, I like that :) ).

+10 on your ninjatude dude :D.

Wayne
 
Just so you all know, we harass old Spiffy for being fat, but he is fat like a middle linebacker is fat know what i mean...Dude has moose shoulders and no neck :)

Know if he wasnt goofin off, the shop would be cleaner

WildscarysightAlaska
 
spiffy, you da man!

Your ninjatude knows no bounds! I am in awe, sir!

I take it some people have never heard of the "tactical fat" that we have discussed in the past. No need for body armor, baby!


The phony katana would be a plus, as would a belt of MG ammo criss-crossed across your body.....the fact that you have no gun capable of firing the belted ammo on you is besides the point, we're talking ninjaness after all!

AND A KNIFE! you have no knife. how can you have no knife? -3 ninja-points! Get thee hence and strap on several knives, big ones! big shiny ones!
 
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