First, to be honest, I think most responsible gun owners these days don't normally leave guns lying around in plain sight. But I know circumstances differ, folks are getting ready to go shooting, no kids in the house, small town with very low crime, etc. From my perspective, it is nearly as much a theft / security issue as it is a safety issue.
You state the kids are wild - I wonder how wild? We have neighbors across the street with undisciplined kids - bad enough that they stole street signs (including stop signs), etc. We didn't want our child over there, and if they had had firearms, even I would have been concerned. The entire family seems generally irresponsible.
To answer your question, it would depend on how I was asked. If someone simply said they realized we had a firearm, and asked about our safety policy, how our kids were trained, etc., I think that is fine and responsible on their part. No problem, and I would think more of them, and their kids, if they are concerned in a responsible manner. If they get a little wild-eyed about it and act like we have the plague because we have a gun, well then I probably don't want my kids playing with their budding Nazi anyway.
I may differ from others here, but I personally believe it would be responsible and reasonable to discuss the issue in a mature way. There clearly are a number of bozo's in our country, and some of them have guns in their homes. That's reality. And, no matter how well I train my kids, if their kids are irresponsible, and if they haven't trained them in the firearm safety rules, then there is risk.
Not to put specific words in her mouth, but just as an example:
Mom: I respect a person's right to own firearms. How do you store yours, and are your children trained regarding firearms?
Gunowner: (hopefully) Since we have small children in our home, my firearms are either locked up, or on my person. My kids are trained in the four firearms safety rules, are yours?
Hopefully that kind of mature, respectful start will get a good conversation going. She can expect people to be very private about exactly where and how they secure any firearms, and she has to respect that position. And, if she hasn't trained her own kids, then she needs to address that issue as well. Ignorance kills an awful lot of people.
Hope this helps. Regards from AZ
[This message has been edited by Jeff Thomas (edited March 09, 2000).]