If I were you I would start by renting a few guns. For home defense the first thing that comes to my mind is a high capacity 9mm with a good defensive load.
Here is one my wife likes.
http://www.dicksgunroom.com/images/featured-images/SA-XDM-lg.jpg
The XDm 9mm has a huge capacity (19+1) and fairly low recoil for a 9mm. The only disadvantage to the revolvers is their low capacity.
Here is one my wife likes.
http://www.dicksgunroom.com/images/featured-images/SA-XDM-lg.jpg
The XDm 9mm has a huge capacity (19+1) and fairly low recoil for a 9mm. The only disadvantage to the revolvers is their low capacity.