Still here. Just waiting for the feedback to come in.
Glad I posted the question. I talked to a good friend about the matter and raised it here because I needed perspective. I am very impressed with the responses.
Everyone basically said, you shouldn't lie or keep it a secret. Never intended to lie; did intend to try to keep it a secret. But the arguments against that course were sound, so no secret purchase.
So, an honest heart-to-heart yesterday. Couldn't budge her. She believes carrying puts us at risk: you're mugged, frisked, mugger finds the gun, shoots you; you're carjacked, you try to get to the gun, the carjacker gets it first, kills you. Etc., etc.
I said there are numerous instances of people--men, women--who saved themselves and loved ones because they carried, and I can't recall hearing of a single instance of someone who carries having the gun turned on them. I showed her three stories of women who saved themselves by carrying. She did not find those stories particularly convincing.
I appreciate every single response, especially warrior1256, scrubcedar and seeker_two. (Warrior1256, she has not "forbidden" the purchase. She says that if I carried she would be very uncomfortable--heavy emphasis on "very." In this way, she's smart. After being married so long, she knows that the surest way to get me to do something is to forbid it.)
Most especially, I want to thank pax for her brilliant response. In fact, after reading what she wrote, I thought I'd show my wife pax's statement, then decided that I'd just show her the whole thread. (Pax's corneredcat.com site is a wonderful resource.)
Finally, I just bought a gun safe, as some of you recommended; the suggestions concerning additional classes make perfect sense, as well.
That's where it stands.
