What's your biggest white elephant gun?

L

Long Path

New member
By this I mean, what is the least practical gun you have, long gun or pistol, or gun that you get the biggest laughs for having?

Do you use it?

Will you keep it?

Does it really serve its purpose?


Mine, I'd have to say, is an old Iver Johnson 3" 5-shot revolver with a loose loading gate and cracked brown plastic (?) grips, that has absolutely not one speck of blue left on it, which is in caliber .38 S&W. I've handloaded the old 148gr. HBWC backwards over 4.3grains of Unique, and it actually makes a nice bathroom gun. But I sure don't let my friends see it!



[This message has been edited by Long Path (edited July 25, 1999).]
 
Back in '83 oil went bust and so did I. Sold every gun I had. Needed a little something so I bought an old Brazilian contract S&W 1917 out of Shotgun News (paid the extra $10 for select) and got somthing that looked like it had been stored in a sack of rocks since 1937 (year of manufacture). The cylinder moves around on all three axis and the latch is loose as a goose but it will send 230 gr.s down the tube in the general direction that it's pointed in and I've killed many a rattler with it. Times have gotten much better in the last 16 years and this old piece is long retired but I still have it. Thought about having S&W rebuild it but sentiment only goes so far and my plan now is to try out my limited gunsmithing skills on it. Not much to lose. All and all I'm glad I still have her.
 
I have a home-made flintlock/cannon/bazooka kinda thing that I bought at a farm auction years ago. The Barrel is a 28" long piece of 2" steel pipe welded to a receiver that might be part of a volkswagen transmission. The stock looks (and feels) like it was carved from a piece of 4x4.

Simplest lockwork in the world.. two moving parts. I can only try to describe it. A hammer on a pivot pin is pulled against the striker by a single spring (screen door?) that is screwd into the stock. You pull the hammer back and manually place the "trigger" into a notch on the underside of the hammer... it's about a 40lb trigger pull. A nail attached to the hammer strikes what seems to be a knife sharpening stone and creates the spark (4 times out of 10 and even then it's the slowest ignition in the world).

It will "launch" about anything you can fit in it. I've never been brave (or stupid) enough to put too much powder in it or use "ammo" that would cause very much pressure. Small model paint bottles are fun when you're (literaly) trying to hit the broad side of a barn. Best solo Barbie doll flight was 200 yards at our family picnic in '94. :)
 
Davies derringer. .22lr. It makes noise and it can hit a 4'X4' piece of cardboard sometimes. I shoot it 4 or 5 times a year. It actually makes a good snake gun because of the very shallow rifleing..22 shot shells pattern about 16" at ten feet, with a decent uniform spread. It is a fun gun to hand to somebody right after they shoot a .44 mag. Loaded up with CB's it just kind of goes pop. Always brings a big grin. I wouldn't part with it for the world, it was a birthday present from my wife. The other useless gun I have is a Ted Williams brand 30-30 Lever action. Good solid gun, very accurate, good trigger and in pretty fair condition. Why useless? It is for me because I have nothing to shoot it at, and nowhere to shoot it. I paid $75.00 for it a long time ago (25 years?), and it is worth half that today. I think the last time it was shot was in '79. Nice wall hanger though.

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My (first) wife bought me a "Squibman" (Philippines-made) .22LR that was an el-cheapo AR-15 look-a-like. The stock was black painted wood, the "magazine" was a hollow aluminium casting with a bog-standard .22 mag inserted in it. The rear "sight" was a small piece of thin-gauge aluminium, bent at 90 degrees, with a hole drilled in it. The front sight looked like a cut-off section of welding rod.

Always caused much sniggering when I brought it out -- but the damn thing shot where you pointed it, and never missed a beat in the years I had it.

It eventually rusted up almost solid (NO -- NOT from neglect on my part!! I just couldn't stop it rusting!!).

B
 
I have 3 different rifles made by the revolutionries in thailand, all three are non-shootable, one has a sidelockignition and the other two ignite similar to our percussion rifles, barrel's are extremely thin and are used for collecting dust in a closet corner att....fubsy.
 
An 1873 Parker Underlever, 10ga, side-by-side, with damascus steel barrels. Low-pressure black powder or equivalent only. Great surrogate cannon when used with BP blanks for 4JUL noise making... Other than that occasional bent, it's just another space hog in my microcosm.
 
I've got an old Hopkins and Allen 12 gauge single shot that belonged to my grandfather.It has a nice even coat of rust and the bore looks like the surface of the moon. My dad warned me that the recoil would knock a mule on his rump. It's just a wall hanger now, I wouldn't attempt to shoot it. But, it was grandpaw's and I wouldn't get rid of it either.
 
Stevens Model 87 Semiauto or single shot rifle (depending on whether you push the bolt handle into the side of the recieiver). Gunsmith couldn't get it to shoot but since it's the same as my dad's gun (which I now have) and I bought it for $25 as spare parts.

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Vigilantibus et non dormientibus jura subveniunt
 
Shiloh Sharps .45-70, acquired in a trade in 1979. Put Axtell sights on it and let a gunsmith throat it for paper patch bullets, ordered all the associated stuff to go with it. It is a beautiful, useless rifle. I have any number of plain guns that give far more pleasure and satisfaction. I am slowly learning that the more money you sink into a gun the less sense it makes...

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Two actually, prototypes of my own design left over from my now defunct firearms research & development business.

S&W model 29 revolving carbine with 16" barrel and full shoulder stock, which is currently in pieces under going further design improvements(?). When I do shot it, which is seldom, people love it and want one of their own.
The other is identical except a model 657, which I plan to remove the stock and barrel for use as another project.

Now for some future project guns that are really impractical white elephant guns there's the...........................well that could be a thread all its own. :)

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Gunslinger

We live in a time in which attitudes and deeds once respected as courageous and honorable are now scorned as being antiquated and subversive.
 
I have an LAR Grizzly .50 BMG precision rifle.

I bought it on a lark at SHOT show a few years ago for a super discounted dealer price... obviuosly I had more money on my hands than I could handle wisely. My new career choice is sure to rectify that dilema.

Over the past three years, I have probably shot it about 150 times, 90% of which were at foolishly close targets (within 150 yards), mainly to see them explode with much vigor.. or to see "if" (yeah right) the 660 gr rounds would penetrate it.

It gets most of the attention it does because I keep it mounted on a tall Bi-Pod (which allows it to be fired from the shoulder while standing) in my den and use it as a coat/hat rack. People are confused by it, then they realize it is some kind of a gun and either intrigued or horified. I keep a Coffee mug with 5 or 6 rounds crammed into it on a shelf in the den also...

Last winter I had the whole thing dipped in Realtree Advantage Camo, including the 6-24x scope, whihc looks damn cool I must say. LAR reps saw it at SHOT show this year and apparently have contracted with Realtree to offer the finish to thier customers on new guns!



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-Essayons
 
I have a few Ruger 10/22s. One has a drop in plastic stock that is a 2/3 size replica of an MG42. With a Butler Creek 25 rounder it's a blast to shoot.

Franchi SPAS 12 (full stock, pump/auto). 9.5 pounds empty, over 54" with choke. Incredibly heavy and oversized for any purpose. For serious problems or hunting I'll use the 590 or Benelli. Looks pretty mean though.

- Ron V.

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[This message has been edited by hksigwalther (edited July 25, 1999).]
 
Rob, yours seems to be the coolest one, so far.

Gunslinger, yours is definitely the saddest, so far; I know the story behind that one.

JRR, *yours* is the one closest to what I was thinking about when I was thinking "functional white elephant."

hksigwalther, I have always suspected a SPAS 12 to be a white elephant-- Heavy as one, and ungainly, to boot! I never much understood the need for a semi-auto/pump gun. But I bet it's nice to shoot heavy high brass loads with it on semi! All that mass has got to be a nice recoil-reducer...


Keep 'em coming-- this is fun...

[This message has been edited by Long Path (edited July 25, 1999).]
 
How's this for foolish: I'm still looking for my "white elephant gun". I *need* a double barrel 10 gauge coach gun with exposed functional hammers. Been casualy looking for about a year.

Will I use it? probably twice.

Will I keep it? probably if I find it.

Will it serve its purpose? maybe, if I can think of one.



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To be or not to be-that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.
 
Does my potato cannon count? Its not practical but its fun! Unfortunatly its hard to find places to shoot it here in Los Angeles.
 
Long Path,

The main reason, as I understand it, for the semi/pump option is for the ability to fire loads that would not normally cycle in a semi-auto such as flares, rubber shot, blanks, etc. A much better shotgun capable of fulfilling the same purpose is the Benelli M3 SuperDuper90. 2.5 pounds lighter and (with the proper barrel and mag restricter) can be used comfortably for hunting. You do lose one round in capacity in the extended mag though.

- Ron V.

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I guess I've got one or two...

How about a Nagant revolver - no finish, missing half a grip (it's wrapped with tape). I got it way before they imported them - functional, but U-G-L-Y! Never fired live rounds through it, but it made a great reenactment revolver.

A cheap Chinese Tokarev in 7.62x25 - paid about $75 for it new. I'm conducting an experiment with it - I've put 700-1000 rounds through it at various times through out the last 6-7 years - And never cleaned it. No misfeeds, misfires or anything (I do oil it after firing, though)!

And last - A Chinese type 53 carbine. Talk about rough around the edges - Yuck!
 
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