What would you have done?

Timmulator, . . . a very wise man one day explained to me a very significant piece of information about decisions we make.

He said that if the decision was a good one when it was made, . . . it is still a good one the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year, and so on. No one knows the future, . . . we must just do what we can in this present tense in which we are imprisoned. You made the best decision, that day, . . . for that time, . . . in those circumstances, . . . you could have made.

As another opined, a motorcyclist off the road in any kind of accident is either going to survive with or without basic first aid, . . . or die, . . . with or without basic first aid. Your best help was what you did, . . . went after the pro's.

To assuage any guilt you may feel, . . . go get a police report of that accident, take time to go over it in detail, drive out to the spot and see if it is where you were stopped. Though I am not a betting man, . . . I would probably put my money on "setup" for you, . . . "coincidence" for the motorcycle accident.

Would I have gotten out of my vehicle, . . . yes, I probably would have in years past. But then again, . . . my nature is normally observant and trusting until I see reason to be otherwise. Under most circumstances it has served me well, . . . but sometimes I think my guardian angel will rub his bandages, wipe his brow, and let out a big grin when I enter heaven and say, "Man, I'm glad that's over. He's finally here."

May God bless,
Dwight
 
I'm with you on this. If someone tells me to get out of my car to help some motorcyclist thata I cannot see, I woul dnot have done it either.

I think you did fine and chances are, the motorcyclist who died in a crash that day was a just a coincidence. JM2CW.
 
Footnote--

If you do stop near an accident scene -- park well away from it to leave road space for a few cop cars, a wrecker, Lookie Lou safety, an ambulance and a traffic diversion. As posted before this also provides a measure of personal safety for those who carry, or can make quick get a ways.

The other EMT's post reveals what I hope you all know - an EMT can do a FEW things most of you do not know how to do or have the Gear for BUT the REAL MAGIC is in a trauma center or hands of the medic. Get the 911 call made above almost anything else!

Been there and done bloody vehicle accidents 3 times solo during the past 26 years and don't like it one bit. My decision to carry and maintain a Wilderness EMT cert provides a better sense of security for me and spouse in some situations and has made it possible to help others too. That is my decision -- it may not be yours and that is OK.

Good topic and I'm glad the original poster was humble enough to bring it up.

:)
 
Now, I'm not saying that anyone should skip blindly into danger whistling a happy tune.....you need to be aware, and take precaution in any given situation. Stupid = Dead. But, there are some people that take it to the extreme. To be that paranoid and fearful must make for a terrible existence.

I have lived in a few of the most dangerous cities in the US, and was always prepaired for the worst, and paid attention to the situation, but always tried to help if I could. I always tried to think, what if the situation were reversed, as it has been before, and people just drive by like they don't even see you and your kids freezing to death at the side of the road.......

Now, drive on home, watch TV, and think about what a great person you are.
Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy? :barf:
 
I remembered 10 good guys and one bad guy....

I was trying to make a right hand turn out of the grocery store parking lot onto a four lane road. There was quite a bit of traffic so I had to wait. It was a hot Summer night just after ten pm in early August. I had my window down for comfort. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a black guy approaching my car. He grabbed at his member then quickly closed the distance to my car. He reached in and started punching me. I was seatbelted with my door locked so I had to take the beating. The first blow chipped one of my teet. I thought that the second one had broken my nose because there was blood all over my shirt and the front seat of the car. I caught a break, the traffic cleared and I was looking for an escape. I darted my car across the street to a gas station. Maybe he had hit me three or four times. There were other people that saw this assualt happen and most of them came to my aid. The police were called but the bad guy got away. Two guys tried to chase down the bad guy in thier car but lost him. Two women and a guy helped clean me up. They iced down my face compliments of the gas station attendant. Maybe there were only five good guys that helped me out. I was seeing double. They even helped clean up the car. The scarry thing that I remembered was that I had a difficult choice to make with little time to think. When I pulled my car out on to the road, for a moment, I thought turn back into the parking lot and turn that bugger into splat. Instead I went across the street to the gas station not knowing what to do next.

After getting help and the police arrived (too late) the situation was pieced together. It must have been that the black guy was with two others in a car. They had stopped in the parking lot to shout at each other. The guy that hit me was fighting with a girl and she must have smacked him a few times then hopped back in the car before driving to the other side of the parking lot. He was trying to catch up with them but took out his anger on me. I was not armed. The only protection that I had were the people that stepped up to help. My bible was under my front seat stored in a plastic bag. At the time it served no purpose but then again maybe just knowing that it was there helped me make the right choice.

Aside from feeling helpless at the time I have no regrets about how things played out that night. Some of my friends had some good ideas about what I should have done. Maybe the idea about trying to grab the guy's arm before pulling out onto the road was the best one. The other one was to quickly roll your window up if you see any one approaching your car. This method has served me well except in one instance it may have provoked a response. After I rolled up my window a guy threw a rock that hit the glass but I did not get hurt.
 
Over the years, having been in several situations, I have learned to follow my instincts. If you feel apprehension, there is a reason, although you may not be able to put your finger directly on it. Man is the only animal that rationalizes away his fear and ends up getting killed when he should not have.

The facts you had at hand at the time did not add up.
You could not see the accident. If you could not see the accident, then how could another driver such as the man who was stopping you?
The man trying to get you to exit your vehicle was not assisting the "victim" eventhough he was so alarmed he was stopping traffic.
The man did not want you to make a 911 call, saying it had already been done.

There may have been other subtle clues as well. I am the fellow whose thread you read a few weeks ago about the felon at the door. In the heat of the moment your mind is working overtime both conciously and subconciously trying to analyze the veracity of the threat and save your skin. Do not undermine your intuition by discounting it. Your most important asset in engaging a threat is to recognize and avoid it in the first place. You intuition gives you that power. Only after thoughtful post incident analysis of where apprehension cames from can we arrive at the conclusion that our actions were prudent. You did fine. I would have done the same.

Get Gavin DeBecker's book, "The Gift of Fear'. It's a great book on just this subject by a man who makes his money analyzing threats.
 
If I were in a panic to help someone, that is what I would be focussed on. I would probably have tunnel vision of the brain. You would hear something like, "You've got to help me! I can't get the bike off him and it's crushing him." or "I can't stop the bleeding! Help me!" Notice that I am very focussed on myself (help ME) even though I am trying to help someone else. I think the guy who stopped you was doing the same thing - that is, the words that came out of his mouth were matched with what he was focussed on.

Man: "Hey! A motorcycle just crashed! Can you get out and help me? I think he's hurt!"

Me, not seeing a motorcycle: "I'll go call 911." (no cell phone--this was 1987).

Man: "Someone else already called. Can you get out and look at him?"

This guy either didn't write his script correctly, was looking for someone really easy, or was just winging it.

Notice that he keeps talking about getting out of the car, which he DOESN'T need to say. If you agree to anything he's apparently asking for, you'll get out of the car, anyway. People just don't talk that way, ever, at least in my sixty years of listening. And why did he need YOUR help? Why didn't he do it himself? If he needed you to help him lift a bike or stop bleeding, he would have said so. Why did he want you to look at him? He couldn't look at him? You had a sign on your car that said that you knew a lot more about looking at fallen motorcyclists than he did?

His words clearly tell me that his focus was on getting you out of the car.

You did the right thing.
 
Get Gavin DeBecker's book, "The Gift of Fear'. It's a great book on just this subject by a man who makes his money analyzing threats.
Click to expand...

I read it last summer. Excellent book and HIGHLY recommended.
 
I would help because others have helped me...

I guess that I got off track a little in my prior post. I would help because others have helped me when I was in need.
 
I can not say for certain without actually seeing this guy and analysing the situation; but unless I saw or heard a particular red flag I would have to check it out. It would bother me for a very long time if I didn't.
 
:rolleyes: From reading your replies I gather you were initially troubled by your response to this incident and, now, have one way or another managed to rationalize it. Your first responsibility is, always, to yourself. This said, whether you immediately realized it, or not, you DID make an acceptable response to this event.

Now me? I’m the kind of jerk who WOULD have stopped to help this guy. As a matter of fact I’ve done exactly this, at least, twice before in life. The first time I stopped to help at a hit and run accident I had witnessed, I had my own car struck by an impatient driver who simply wanted to get on by the scene. (There was no apology.) The second time I stopped to help a young girl whose car had gone dead on a blind curve, I was nearly killed myself by a drunken dump truck driver. (And he nearly flipped his truck before running into a pack of cars that had stopped on the curve to speak with that girl!) Looking back I shouldn’t have stopped in the first instance; and I, quite probably, saved several peoples’ lives in the second. In both events there was no real, ‘thank you’.

And there ain’t no calling right or wrong about many of the circumstances you wander into in life. If it’s any consolation to you, I’m old enough to realize that the world is full of people who wouldn’t even have made that phone call you DID stop to make. Suggest you continue to let this one go. Before too long, there'll be other events in life for you to risk feeling guilty about! ;)
 
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