What do you tell a good friend?

Miss D,

I have several friends, male and female, who are like this. Some will never understand until a major crisis is before them; then again, a few will still never understand. The best thing to do if you want to keep the friendship is do what everyone else has suggested and not bring it up.

Guns and knives are the equalizers for all people, male/female. I personally like to see females with guns because it shows that A. they haven't fallen to the stereotypes presented by Hollyweird, media, and the fashion mags, B. it shows that someone is possibly concerned with real-world problems of self-protection and self-preservation, and C. it's a fun activity that many can and do enjoy.

Why do you need a gun? Well, why do you need anything? Why do you need a car? You can theoretically walk to work. Why do you need a stove or a microwave? You can cook your food over an open fire after rubbing two sticks together. I don't buy the "need" argument.

Indians in the rainforests of South America who go about their daily business in loin clothes or no clothes and all and who appear "primitive", demonstrate that a human doesn't need much of anything in the form of material goods to survive.

The thing is you want a gun, and in this country you can still get a gun if you want one. If you work hard, play hard, you get what you want; that's what we get for being in a "free" society.

The gun is the best means of protection when other measures like awareness, dogs, security systems and the like have failed. Will it work all the time? No. Does it have some inherent dangers and responsibilities? Yes, but so do many things such as cars, bricks, rocks, etc.

Some people are just so closed-minded that nothing you do or say will convince them. Like someone else mentioned, I wonder what your friend and others who think like thim are going to do if someone is breaking into their house after poisoning the dog, disabling the alarm system, and phone lines, etc.

I think it's totally ridiculous for people to even think about denying others the right to protect themselves and their families. Kids and firearms can and have coexisted in households for many years without problems.

If indeed he is simply being sexist, well you know where you can tell him to put it. I have a coffee mug that has a cartoon picture of a guy with his head between his legs up his own *ss and it says, "I'm trying to see things for your point of view"; it sounds fitting for him.

"Out for my own, out to be free, One with my mind, they just can't see, Life's for my own to live my own way" - Metallica
 
Tell him that you are responsible for the safety of yourself and your child and that you have decided that responsible gun ownership is one of the steps you will take.

He doesn't have to like it and he doesn't have to agree as he doesn't share the responsibility.

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Better days to be,

Ed
 
"Out for my own, out to be free, One with my mind, they just can't see, Life's for
my own to live my own way" - Metallica

Good tune! and so true! :D

Good news! I called my brother in law to see if he was going tomorrow night and he said yes. I told him of my little conversation last night and with a *sigh* he told me to flag him down should they start the 'debate' again or call me nuts :D. He said the same as most of you, don't bring it up because its not worth my time to argue with people like that and should they bring it up again just stick to my guns :D. (If I only had some lol)

As for the sexist thing, my friend knows me better than that. I have proven over and over to them that I can do anything they do if not better. They didn't think I could figure out how to change my oil on my car and proceeded to laugh about. Well I changed my oil within a half hour and shut them up real quick. :D Once they were trying to put this entertainment center together, had some problems so they just left it in the garage. I went out there, read the directions and had it together in a few hours :D (ALthough I couldn't lift it when it was finally together) So I really don't know why he is saying this now. I want to find out if its the fact he thinks I can't handle a gun, I am kinda thinking that may be it. If so I will arrange a range trip and shut him up on that little problem as well. :D

Anyway, this is great to see so much support, you have now given me the ammo I need to end this topic once and for all with this guy. :)Hopefully he will still be my bud in the end.

Happy St.Patricks Day too! :)

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Sandys' Homepage
We are as one as we all are the same fighting for one cause -Metallica
 
Miss D: Sounds like your "friend" is really intimidated by the thought of you having a firearm. You might ask them if they have their butcher knives locked up so kids can't get at them. How about all those household chemicals that are kept under the sink? Where do they keep them. In my garage is a machette used for cutting brush, a large and very sharp hedge trimmer, an axe and other cutting tools. Most homeowners have those items, where do they keep them so the children won't cut themselves? You might tell them that, I believe it was for 1996, there were more knife homicides in Mexico than homicides by all means in the US. Where do they keep the hair curling iron and blow drier when their child is taking a bath? Those items if plugged in could fall into the tub and electrocute their child. You also might think about finding new "friends" if these continue to berate you about owning a firearm. Lots of luck, just don't loose your temper. George Dickel
 
Miss D, I'm not going to rehash everything that has been stated prior. But with everything I have read here and about you and your web page. You know what your talking about and you can stand next to me at a range anytime :) You will never win with people like that and sometimes I believe they will argue just to argue and pull your chain :) You have done very well to defend your stance and you really need not defend it to him again because he now knows where you stand :)

Happy Shooting :)

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We preserve our freedoms by using four boxes: soap,ballot,jury, and cartridge.
Anonymous

[This message has been edited by loknload (edited March 17, 2000).]
 
I learned the hard way as well- one can never use logic to defeat emotion.

(MATTH 7:6) Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

I have come to believe- after growing out of a background that taught me to try to move everyone I met to my beliefs- that all we can really do is live well. People only listen when they're ready.

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What do you want?
Freedom to live like we are.
Anything else?
Guns, so they can't take the freedom away!
I'll see what I can do-
And grenades, mortars, and mines, so they can't take the guns away!

[This message has been edited by Spectre (edited March 17, 2000).]
 
As someone once said:

The only time you really need a gun,
is when you really need a gun!


[This message has been edited by Karanas (edited March 17, 2000).]
 
Go DC! One of my responses to the question, "Why do you need so many guns?" or simply "Why do you need a gun?" for years has been, "Who said I needed one? The Second Amendment guarantees my right without conditions."
 
Hate to sound like Dr. Laura, but fix what you can fix, the rest is out of your control.

Continue your journey into independence. Become a responsible gun owner with a child. Become your own argument first.

You will be very good at it. You will become the proof and the message and the solution.

You will make the world a safer place, starting at home.
 
Being a bit of an independent thinker with a low tolerance for BS, my reply to that "friend" would have been: "F*** you, don't EVEN presume to tell me what I do or don't need. If you can't live with it, go to hell."
 
You've heard all the good advice already. If you want him as a friend, fine. Just don't let him badger you about the gun issue.

BTW you should focus you energy on what you have been doing all along, rearing you
 
You've heard all the good advice already. If you want him as a friend, fine. Just don't let him badger you about the gun issue.

BTW you should focus you energy on what you have been doing all along, rearing you child properly as best as you can. Maybe some day he'll change his opinion by observing you as a responsible parent. If not, so what? Your child is the most important thing. Focus on what's truely important.
 
"... a man hears what he want to hear, and disregards the rest..."
(Simon and Garfunkel)

Good luck Miss D.
Deep down inside you KNOW you're right...



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...defend the 2nd., it protects us all.
No fate but what we make...
 
I think your friend is just an old world peasant type at heart and is just masquarading as a modern man. He has no qualms about a man being armed, but a woman doing the same thing is just unnatural. He cannot expalin it because in at least 4,000 years no man in his lineage has ever had to explain something like this to a woman. He wants you to just raise your kids and leave men's things to men. It is nice that you gave him something new to twist his brain around. Times do change.
 
Miss D, I think my statement to him would be something like, "I'm teaching my child the right way, and trusting and expecting her to shoulder the responsibility with guidance, love, and trust."
If he seems to be hurt by that, well, I guess that sometimes, truth hurts.
 
Miss D,

I think that fact that he was unable or unwilling to think that you deserved an explanation for his statement indicates that he is not functioning from a rational level. Why is he bothered by your choice? Maybe he would like to be that man creeping into your house and is upset because the gun may complicate things?

My sister has a degree in Sociology, but does not see the problem with treating gun owners as scapegoats for all of Society's problems. I won't let her get away with that. She and all other people with an irrational approach are required to explain and justify themselves. I am not treating other like social niggers and do not need to explain myself.
 
Miss D,
To me one of the qualities I look for in a friendship is a mutual respect for feelings and opinions. This is not happening with your "friend" and I suggest you deserve more. The question is why do you settle for less?
Also, it is not " why do you did a gun?" but "why do you not need a gun?".
There is evil in the world and a gun is a major way to protect you from it. I respect your sense of reality and desire to protect yourself and your child.
Sometimes we outgrow our friends. It maybe time to stop hanging out with this 10 year old.
 
Miss D,

As you journey through life you change. Good friends accept this change and adapt to it.

Don't confuse acquaintances with friends. I have very few friends. I have a whole bunch of acquaintances.

A good friend is tolerant within the bounds of his or her values and core beliefs.

If your friend can't accept the changes in you, it's time to move on to new friends.

/s/Bruce
 
1. Get used to it. You will repeat this conversation over and over. People you didn't think could possibly be anti--like my mother, who has lived in a house with dad's 100-some-odd guns for 25 years, who was shocked that I would imply that people should be able to carry guns the other night.
2. You wasted way too much time on him. I do the same thing. Once someone starts repeating himself and refuses to explain his reasoning, he's not debating, he's just bitching about how unfair it is that life doesn't conform to his standards.

3. If you're bound and determined to change his mind, sneak up on him with a red permanent marker sometime. When you're through with him ask him if he would have "kicked your ass" if you'd been using a knife. This can seriously screw someone up for several moments as they change gears. The problem is that your friend would dismiss this as a trick and assume that a real knife would be easier to defend against, probably.

If he didn't know how to think, you could teach him. But when he simply refuses, there's nothing for you to do. Sorry. But at least you've got us.

[This message has been edited by Don Gwinn (edited March 19, 2000).]
 
Miss D- All has been said in the above posts. We are all on your side, and I for one am glad to have someone like you as a (cyber) gun pal. You stick to your guns!!!
(pun intended!) Keep up the fight, and as it was said before, this won't be the last time you will explain this, but it comes easier each time.

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Knock twice. Rap with your cane. Feels nice. You're out of the rain. We got your skinny girls. Here at the Western World
from Steely Dan's "Western World"
 
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