Miss Demeanors
New member
Last night I was on the phone with one of my best friends. We grew up together and I consider him like a brother. During our conversation he had said to me "So what's the deal with you and this gun fetish?" He knows all about what had happened in the past and how I was afraid of guns. I told him "Well, I took some time to learn more about guns and during that process I took a liking to them." He says "Please don't tell me you want a gun." I told him yes, eventually I would like to get one. His reply "You don't need a gun." My question was simply WHY NOT? Him:"You have a 5 year old in the house" Me:"and your point would be.....?" Him: "You don't need a gun" Me: "Why don't I need a gun? Am I not allowed to protect myself?" Him: "What are you crazy?" Me:"In some ways yes, but my choice to own a gun is not one of them. Please don't tell me you are an anti.." Him: "I am anti nothing. I have shot guns since we were little, I have a NRA hunting certificate. In fact my dad keeps trying to give me one of his guns every time I go out there, but I don't want it in the house with the little girl around" (He has a 5 year old as well) (Of course I was thinking that his dad can give ME the gun ) Me:"Well that is your choice, I respect that. But my choice is to eventually get one for myself for protection." Him: "Protection?? Why are you so paranoid?" Me:"Ummm paranoid?? Because I want to protect myself and my girl that makes me paranoid?" Him:"You don't need a gun." Me:"well you still have not given me one good reason why I do not need one." Him once again)"You don't need one!" Me:"WHY NOT???? Give me a valid answer, you are failing to answer my question" Him:"You shouldn't have a gun in the house with a child in it." Me:"Do you think I am going to leave it loaded in her toy box? You've known me for 25 years, are you saying I am not responsible?" Him:"No, you are a very responsible person, I am sure you would keep it out of her hands. But you don't need one" Me:"For the last time please give me one legit answer as to why I should not own one when I am ready." Him:"Oh sure you will lock it up, then the little one finds the key and gets ahold of it. Kids find their way into everything. She will get it and something terrible would happen" Me:"Would I take even the slightest risk of anything EVER happening to my little girl? I am perfectly aware of what can happen, you that. I would also plan on teaching her about it and not keeping it a big secret. She already knows the Eagle Eddie rules, and when I do get one she will be further educated. Now why shouldn't I have a gun?" Him:"You are just full of answers aren't you?" Me:"Not really, just stating the facts." Him:"You are one of those gun nuts aren't you? What is wrong with you? Have you gone crazy? You sound brainwashed or something, this is just unlike you to be talking like this. You don't need a gun." Me:"I do not see wanting to protect myself as brainwashed. It seems to me that you are brainwashed in thinking females should be helpless. Is that what this comes down to, I shouldn't own a gun because I am a female??" Him:"Well yes and no. For one, you live in the suburbs, what are your chances of something happening where you will need a gun?" (Blood pressure rising at this point) ME:"So you think because I live in the burbs nothing is going to happen here? Yeah, then why has our car been broken into twice? How about the gang bangers that hang around the area? Oh wait! THey are burb gang bangers, they won't cause any trouble. HAHAH If you are one of those people that think it can't happen to me, then I really feel sorry for you." Him:"Listen to you! You are completely out of your mind. You don't need a gun!" Me:"I'm sorry but I can not, for the life of me, see why that is crazy. I think its perfectly sane if you ask me. If someone should break into my home then you are suggesting I should just let whatever happens happen?" Him:"Get a dog then! Get an alarm if you are so paranoid." (I just started laughing hysterically at that comment) Him:"have you told your dad about this and what you are thinking?" Me:"No" Him:"How about your mom?" Me:"not really , no" Him:"So if everyone agrees with me then it is obviously a problem." Me:"Why must others control my actions or my thoughts? The reason I haven't mention this to my parents is the fact that I would be going through this EXACT conversation. I really don't want to deal with that at this point. My choice, my life. If you don't want one that's fine by me, you don't see me knocking at you because you don't want to take control of your own life or that of your family. What would you do if someone breaks into your home and attacks your pregnant wife or your daughter?" Him:"Oh that will never happen I will kick his a**." Me:"Okay fine, thats your choice if you think you can do that. But what about me? I sure in hell can't kick some 6 foot 200 pound guys a** in." Him:"By the time someone breaks in your door, you will hear it and have plenty of time to escape through the back door or out a window." Me:"Well sure that may or may not be a choice. I don't want to shoot someone if there are other options but this seems to be taking a HUGE risk if I opt to do that. How am I going to climb out a second story window with a 45 pound kid in my hand? Lets be real here." Him:"Your nuts you know that? You don't need a gun."
At this point I just ended that topic and headed toward the Advils. But I know this subject is not going to end. How do you get through to someone like this without making an enemy or bad feelings toward eachother? I feel having a child in the home gives me even more reason to want to protect ourselves. Does this make me a bad Mom because I eventually want to own a gun and not live in fear? He is not against guns either, in fact he is going hunting this year. Is he only seeing the sporting side to guns and not the 'family protection tool' side? Why is it that so many males have a problem with a female and a gun? I don't get it. If I heard this from someone else it really wouldn't phase me a bit, but this is a good buddy of mine. I don't want this to come between our friendship, I just want him to respect my opinion. How is one to do this without getting into an argument? I am going to see him Saturday night along with a few other friends. I just *know* they are all going to gang up on me and try to convince me I am not thinking logically. Any suggestions on how to make point without sounding like an idiot?
Sorry this is so long, but this is the only place I can talk about this without being struck down. Thanks gun nut buddies . I feel more at home here than at my real home LOL. Sad isn't it?
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Sandys' Homepage
We are as one as we all are the same fighting for one cause -Metallica
At this point I just ended that topic and headed toward the Advils. But I know this subject is not going to end. How do you get through to someone like this without making an enemy or bad feelings toward eachother? I feel having a child in the home gives me even more reason to want to protect ourselves. Does this make me a bad Mom because I eventually want to own a gun and not live in fear? He is not against guns either, in fact he is going hunting this year. Is he only seeing the sporting side to guns and not the 'family protection tool' side? Why is it that so many males have a problem with a female and a gun? I don't get it. If I heard this from someone else it really wouldn't phase me a bit, but this is a good buddy of mine. I don't want this to come between our friendship, I just want him to respect my opinion. How is one to do this without getting into an argument? I am going to see him Saturday night along with a few other friends. I just *know* they are all going to gang up on me and try to convince me I am not thinking logically. Any suggestions on how to make point without sounding like an idiot?
Sorry this is so long, but this is the only place I can talk about this without being struck down. Thanks gun nut buddies . I feel more at home here than at my real home LOL. Sad isn't it?
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Sandys' Homepage
We are as one as we all are the same fighting for one cause -Metallica