I took a first time handgun shooter shooting this summer, she is 43, 5'6", 105lbs. We started with my G19C. After teaching her safety and a good grip, she was on paper at 10yds almost immediately. She quickly moved to the G17, which she preferred over the 19, I believe she preferred the little added weight. Within an hour she had moved to the fullsize, steel Baby Eagle .40. She loved it! I believe the added weight of the steel frame more than made up for the recoil of the .40. I guess my recommendation is the 9mm, but try and start her on a steel framed gun. The weight seems to boost confidence, go figure.