Ugh. I can see how this could have gone in a couple of different directions. I've been on all four sides.
1. When I was a senior in high school, my best friend's family had a HUGE house on 15 acres. When his folks would leave for the weekend, they'd take his siblings and leave us $20 or so "for pizza and videos." I would stay over, and we'd use his house and acreage to... eat pizza and watch videos at night, and shoot clay pigeons during the day. Sometimes, when we got
real wild, we'd make it an "R" movie. Maybe even ice cream. Lord, we were some straight-laced kids.
But our friends were, too.
2. Then I was a freshman in college, less than a year later, and went to parties where 90% of the attendance was under 20, and 95% of the people were unfit to drive. I did a lot of designated driving, when it wasn't my turn to drink (my roommate and I had a deal worked out.)
3. As a police officer, I've been called to some extremely raucous parties, where the homeowner would enable their kids to get drunk and have all their friends over to get drunk, too. Sometimes they would just kid themselves and turn a blind eye. Sometimes, though, the parents were buying kegs for their 17 and 18 year old kids and their friends...
and making no provision to assure that the kids didn't drive home drunk. The saddest cases of this were when drugs (legal and illegal) were mixed recreationally with the booze, right under the parents' noses. When we would approach the homeowners about the parties, we were abruptly turned away at the gates.
I remember one occasion where one of our officers actually got into what he thought was a pursuit with car that failed to yield at high speed. It finally pulled into the driveway of the homeowner, who was racing home his inebriated, extremely sick, somewhat overdosed 16 year old little girl from her friend's party. We (I had come to assist) followed inside (the girl literally couldn't walk-- she was dragged inside.) the house, and seeing the sick girl, called an ambulance. Friends, if that were
MY little girl, I'd have had her to the hospital so fast you wouldn't believe it, to get her stomach pumped. The parent in this case insisted that the ambulance leave, and wanted everyone to go home,
because he didn't want any public embarrassment. He said he'd watch her, and take her to the doctor the next day.
He didn't even know what kind of drugs she'd ingested with her beer! (She didn't remember at the time what they were called.) Luckily, she didn't die from the dose of qualudes and alcohol, but Lord knows what damage it did her. We were stunned. Not only had the parents at her friends' house facilitated such a situation, but the victim's parents did, too!
We were regularly being portrayed as gestapo type cops for trying to stop underage drinking and impaired driving. The funny thing was, all of us had many times poured out the beer with a warning, tossed out the weed on the pavement with a stern finger-wagging, and handed over liquor to parents with a quick discussion. We were NOT of the "zero tolerance" brigade-- we just wanted kids safe. And don't forget that lots of kids die from drinking who never drive. Alcohol toxicity is very dangerous in youngsters who are inexperienced and have fast metabolisms. Talk to the deans at any major university, especially if they have Greeks.
As for driving, that month I assisted on a head-on collision in which there were three fatalities in two cars, both of which were driven by drunken teenagers (one of whom had elevated THC levels). "Tragedy" does not BEGIN to describe how that community felt.
4. Then I've found myself, jaded from the above experiences (2 and 3), rolling up to a party of teenagers. They look scared-- must be dope and beer here, right? So I howdy with 'em, and a parent comes out and asks what I'm doing. Must be one of the enabling parents who assist in their kids' downfall, right? And I explain reasonably that I'm just talking, that I've seen nothing wrong, and I don't have a problem with anything going on here (all true, though I have a gut feeling), and ask if they'd mind me looking around. Believe me, if they said I had to go, I'd get in the car and leave immediately. When someone consents, I walk around, and find a huge tub filled with... Dr. Pepper. Then there's the cooler filled with... ice, soft drinks, and meat for the barbecue. Then there's the big refrigerator filled with... ice cream in the top half, iced tea in the bottom. The kids are clean-scrubbed. The crew that was back in the woods when I drove up come wandering back, and they're all sober. They were watching the stars away from the porch and street lights. (Oh, I've no doubt there was a little smootching and cuddling, but that's sure not my concern.)
In other words, my gut reaction was FLAT WRONG. I've crashed the party of some kids that were a lot like I was (see #1.), but I figured everyone had devolved. So I accept a hot dog and a cup of tea, and chat. I even own up to my incorrect assumptions. The patriarch smiles and says, "Yeah, that's why I invited you into the back yard instead of sending you off like I had first thought to do. I needed to show you that kids still have fun without going too wild." Good lesson for Officer Long Path to take to heart. Glad I didn't blow it.
Realize that you're pretty much getting the parents' side of this story listed. I don't agree with the cordoning off of a block unless you can show that the party was an immediate hazard (blocking the street, drunks staggering and driving about, etc.).
