If you were to take that stance in London and I used my brolly to defend myself against your assault I would be arrested for using the umbrella as an offensive weapon.
If you are
defending yourself, what ever you use, it is because I have attacked you, and therefore yours is not an offensive act and the umbrella is not a offensive weapon, so your example does not stand.
The law is quite clear: It is about reasonable force, proportional to the threat.
Whether or not an umbrella, being your example of choice, is used illegally in a given situation will depend on the dynamics of the threat.
If it is a 6ft, 90kg man who "umbrellas" six bells out of a mouthy 55kg woman, it is excessive, not proportionate and so illegal.
If the same man, simply keeps said aggressive woman at a distance without ever touching her, it is not excessive, is proportionate and so not illegal.
If it is the man who attacks the woman and she is ready having left home with with a tactical umbrella, then the scope that covers proportionality is greater due to the man's physical advantage in strength.
The laws there are simply insane.
No. No, they are not.
I'm afraid that you have misinterpreted them, taken one erroneous example to base your opinions on or they are simply not all to your liking.
It is excessive and frankly pretty insulting to make such a seeping statement as to call them insane, given what they actually say.
As a more general observation, it is not the first time we've had a thread that either started as or devolved into a "let's all complain about the broken, broken UK" and, sadly, probably not the last.
Time and time again the likes of Scouse, Manta49 and occasionally myself have provided examples, quotes, and links to illustrate the truth about SD and or firearms laws in the UK.
Yet we still come back to the same preconceptions.
I find it ironic that members of this forum complain that "anti's" view everything emotionally, ignoring the facts, and yet I see the same behaviour from many members on here regarding the UK.
If some really feel the need to dissect the UK's laws, fine. By all means.
However, please let's do it based on facts not emotion.