You are correct sir, there was nothing childish about the question per se. But the editorial comments that followed implied that he was preparing to be invaded by the government at any moment, in which case I have a question or two.
"Not only do I want to be protected from fragments, dirt, dust, and debris...but also against light. As in flash bangs, or other blinding type attacks."
First off, Bolle, or other style goggles, will do nothing to protect one against the blinding flash of a flash bang. Secondly, if he really is about to be invaded by evil JBT's guised as local law officers, I would suggest that he take a different course of action.
Perhaps he should stop doing whatever it is he is doing to warrant the "invasion." You see, that way he could save the money he would otherwise spend on the goggles, and probably avoid going to jail as well.