Craig, I agree with those who have suggested you try a number of different guns and see which feel best to you. I also agree - and clearly you do as well - that training is vitally important. Finally, I agree that it would make sense in your situation to purchase both a good 12 gauge pump shotgun (I have a Mossberg 500 I like quite a bit) and a .357 Magnum revolver with a 4" barrel (S&W and Ruger have been mentioned, and they're both excellent. The nice thing about a .357 is that you also use .38 Special ammo in it - much cheaper and with far less recoil. My one original contribution here is that I'd also recommend (since your budget seems flexible) one of the newer compact or sub-compact semi-auto pistols. Trust me - carrying a 4" .357 revolver is a lot more work than carrying something like my 9 mm. Kahr PM9. With these three and some good training, you'll be about as prepared as you can be for almost any situation. Happy shopping!