Lightest Recoil
I have a CZ 75 and HK VP9 in 9mm. I've shot Glocks and Springfields in 9mm. I have a Beretta PX4 in 40 cal that has less felt recoil than anything I've ever shot. 380, 9mm, and 40 all have snappy recoil. 45, while more powerful, has a slower, more prolonged recoil. I don't have a lot of experience shooting 1911's. Could be worth a try. But do try the Beretta. As for the safety, you can get it in safety/decocker or decocker only. The safety only works with hammer down so you can't carry it in condition 1. Makes me question the value of the safety since it has a long heavy double action first pull. Single action after that. If you think the complication of the two systems may be too much, double action only is simpler. But finding something with lighter recoil than a PX4 is going to be tough. Don't forget to look at trigger reach. That can rule out a lot of guns too.
Don