Stupidest Thing You Ever Heard While Hunting?

Oh, and mikejones, you can't consider yourself a true sportsman unless you've got at least three avids on your wall. Hell, I wouldn't even call myself a man without at least one.
 
I've posted this one here before I think, or maybe that was THR.....

There was another time that my father-in-law and I were walking back to the truck from the morning hunt and we ran across a young guy who was bleeding from the chest. Our first reaction was "oh sh**, he's been shot" but it was dumber than that. He had shot a deer and knocked it down. He got down out of his stand, tied a rope around the (seemingly dead) deer's neck to drag it out, collected his gun and pack and started to pull when the deer pulled back. One minute he's dragging the deer the next he's walking it like a dog. Needless to say the buck didn't appreciate that too much and gored him with his antlers. Ripped him pretty good, but no stitches required. We patched him up out of our first aid kit and helped him track the deer a little ways. Never found it. Trail petered out about 100 yds further from where he got horned.
 
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Buzzards gotta eat too!:D
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Yeah, but then you call them in. Once the coyote packs have left the area (or been killed off), you still have buzzards kicking around. But... now they are hungry buzzards. Maybe they wait for something else to die... maybe they take it upon themselves to become predators. Then you'd just have another problem on your hands... and you'd have to sit outside picking off buzzards all day.


hmm... picking off buzzards... You know... I don't think I'll bury any more coyotes. :D
 
On my first hunt, my father and I sat together in a large blind waiting for the sun to come up. As day is just breaking, I notice my father looking out to the right, so I crouch forward and see what he's looking out. My eyes got real wide as I whispered, "Dad, it's deer!" I peer harder when I realize that it appears a lot larger than a deer. "No wait! Dad, It's a HORSE!" My father turns and looks at me. "Dan, it's a stump!" Oops.
 
Before daylight on opening morning of firearms deer season, Get to stand, and there is someone sitting in it.
Ask him if we can have our stand and they reply, "How do i know its yours"?

Funn//// sad thing about it is the squatter is in the legal right, A moron but...

Never liked the line; "If it's Brown it's Down".
 
I always thought it was "Hay y'all watch this"
Actually it was my cousin bragging about killing a deer with a .22lr
 
Dumbest thing I've ever seen? An acquaintance of mine (hardly a friend) who insisted on yacking on his cell phone while out in the field and wondered why he never saw a deer. Pure genius. :p
 
This isn't a stupid quote, but I absolutley HATE IT when I meet or talk to someone who has to 1 up you on everything...His deer was heavier, he shoots a bigger gun...I've killed more...etc. killed more than 10,000 wild hogs...I HATE THESE PEOPLE, AND CAN'T stand to be around them...:barf: It's against my nature, but I heard one of those idiots talking last year at academy sporting goods, yaping about shooting some deer at 750yds...said he "sights his gun in at 350..." I asked him where he aimed, and he said, just right above the shoulder...I politely told him, "do you actually believe that someone really believes this story? By the way...The waders are located in the shoe department next to the boots..." yes, that is a quote. I really wanted to tell him he was full of $H!+, but diplomacy is just the art of telling someone to go to hell and have them look forward to the trip...:)
 
Ya all talking about Buzzards, FYI the buzzards in North America lack the ability to pierce skin which is why you see a huge bloated hit by car white tail just up the road from one that is being picked clean,

Therefore it would be hard for them to turn into preditors, their population is limited by available carion (in the absence of DDT), this is why there are so many in places where more white tails are taken with bumpers and left by the roadside.

If you want to help them out open up the belly of the deer or other dead things so they can do their job.

Aparanelty in Africa there are 3 species of vulture one of whom can pierce skin and there is an intresting social interaction between the 3 of them, can't recall their names...

What I learned over lunch with an Ornithology Phd canidate from Cornell.
 
And so far the winner of the rusty lunchpail trophy is...

Ta-Daa...
[Over two-way radio to hunt partner]
"Careful. You have a skunk approaching at ..."

*BLAM!*

[Over two-way radio] "Stay there. I'll get the tomato juice."
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XLNT humor! No explanation given or needed--just Plop! there it is. I was ROTFLMAO over that!

BTW, one quart of homemade tomato juice will pretty well de-skunk a good-sized Labrador retriever. You can probably guess how I know. Smart dog, though--Only once.
 
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Johnsons baby shampoo works well for removing snunk from a black lab too Smokey.:) It's only happened once with my dog, but I'm sure it'll happen again. She's very curious.
 
castnblast, yup, I was on a hunting lease in SW Okla for 1 year, about 2 years back. Ol' boy who got me onto it (mowed my lawn) explained to me that he didn't like shooting deer less than 500 yards away, because it's not challenging enough for him and his "7 mag". It would seem he got one deer at around 700 yards (or was it 750?). That 7 mag is a magic laser weapon. I read here online (TFL I think) that one of the members knew someone who said that he had this big buck walk under his stand one day, but he couldn't get a shot at it, being directly underneath. So the next day he hauled a 30 lb. rock up into the stand, and killed the buck when it came back by, dropping the rock on its head. :rolleyes:
 
So the next day he hauled a 30 lb. rock up into the stand, and killed the buck when it came back by, dropping the rock on its head
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Now thats just not sportsmanlike, everyone knows you drop out of the stand with your knife in your teeth to bag a deer directly underneath. Jeez...:rolleyes:
 
[/QThis isn't a stupid quote, but I absolutley HATE IT when I meet or talk to someone who has to 1 up you on everything...His deer was heavier, he shoots a bigger gun...I've killed more...etc. killed more than 10,000 wild hogs...I HATE THESE PEOPLE, AND CAN'T stand to be around them...UOTE]

Them's the boys that get the "Blanket party"
Work with one that would have gotten a Party within a few days in the service.
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So the next day he hauled a 30 lb. rock up into the stand, and killed the buck when it came back by, dropping the rock on its head

Now thats just not sportsmanlike, everyone knows you drop out of the stand with your knife in your teeth to bag a deer directly underneath. Jeez...
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Well, what he probably meant is that he dropped the rock on it, and WHILE IT STOOD THERE STUNNED BY THE FACT THE SKY WAS FALLING, he jumped on its back and cut its throat with one swipe! Or something like that.

I love guys who can't shoot telling me why they carry 2 boxes of ammo: in case they get a shot at a deer, they just shoot until they run out of ammo. My favorite is still "I shot that antelope offhand at 1200 yds with my 30-40 Krag with iron sights", at which point I try hard to look surprised and say "Reeeeally?"
 
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