Rules for All Pilots

DorGunR

What's the difference between a GOOD landing and a GREAT landing?

A GOOD landing is one you can walk away from.

A GREAT landing is one where you can still use the aircraft again.
 
Remember the FAA has discovered that 100% of all airplane crashes are caused by flying the airplane to close to the ground.
 
Helicopters: A bunch of loose bolts and nuts flying in formation.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mk86fcc:
Helo pilots' opinion:
"Helicopters don't fly, they beat the air into submission."

Everyone else's opinion:
"Helicopters don't fly, they vibrate so badly gravity rejects them."

[/quote]
 
"Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed, lest the ground reach up and smite thee"

Can recall a few landings in commercial airliners where the pilot seemed REALLY happy just to have gotten us on the ground :)

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Mike
mnealtx@yahoo.com
 
Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and jet engine?

A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
 
There was once a pilot flying a 707. A fighter jock in a f-16 flew beside him and contacted him on the radio. He said, "I bet you can't do this!" He then did several rolls and a loop. The 707 pilot said, "that was pretty cool, but I bet you can't do this!" The fighter pilot then observed the 707 in straight and level flight for about five minutes when he finally asked "what are you going to do?" The 707 pilot replied "I just went back and took a dump."
 
While I was in the USAF and on a SAC base in Maine, a story was going around among the flight crews about some pilot who actually rolled a KC135 {aka modified Boeing 707}, flew it upside down for a short time, then rolled it back. Has anyone else heard this?
 
Solitar,
Haven't heard about a KC-135 being upside down intentionally. If it happened, I'm glad I missed it! :D
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RHarris,

I read a similar joke in Airman Magazine. The story involved an F4/Phantom
fighter pilot and a B-52/Bomber pilot.

The fighter jock did a couple aileron rolls over the top of the B-52 from one
side to the other and then wisecracked to the BUFF pilot about it.

The bomber pilot had enough of the fighter jock’s smart talk and replied,
“Okay, let’s see you do this.”

Nothing visible happened.

After a short time the fighter jock asked what the bomber pilot had done.

B-52 pilot said, “I just shut down two engines.”
 
After a C-130 landing hard enough to have the ground crew check the main gear for stress, the pilot was heard over the intercom to say, "Take that, ground."

...
 
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Solitar:
While I was in the USAF and on a SAC base in Maine, a story was going around among the flight crews about some pilot who actually rolled a KC135 {aka modified Boeing 707}, flew it upside down for a short time, then rolled it back. Has anyone else heard this?[/quote]

It's well-known that Boeing's then top test pilot, Tex Johnston, did 2 aileron rolls in the 707 prototype directly over Boeing president Bill Allen's yacht in Puget Sound at the unveiling ceremony. Allen is rumored to have asked for some heart pills from a nearby observer with a heart condition. Johnston got chewed out, but was such a good test pilot, he kept his job.
 
I saw this clip of film once, pilot did barrel rolls which are very wide swing rolls. This is not the same as a tight snap aileron roll. It was very impressive all the same, and he was a very good pilot.

Jim
 
Johnson's barrel rolls were done with such finesse that he pulled no negative Gs. An early line 707, no fans, was upset on the east coast long ago and did most of a very tight aileron roll to recover, lost both outboard engines due to the roll rate.

A helicopter is an assortment of bolts flying in formation, directed by a nut.

Sam......follow me, I know a shortcut.
 
"Lost"? As in stopped, or fell off? Who would design an airplane that couldn't withstand its own roll rate?
 
Flew the new SEGA Airline simulator at Dave & Busters tonight! Had a small crowd gathered as I landed it with ease on the hardest setting! Little did they know, I have about 1500 hours of MS flight simulator time :rolleyes:! It was very similar, I wish I cauld find a better mockup of a cabin, having real switches to throw was a rip! Had 3-4 people ask me if I was a "real" pilot when I was done!


I do have about 10 hours in a Grumman single prop-job, about 30 minutes in a DC-9, 2 hours in a C-141, and about an hour in a P-3 Orion!

"P-3 Orion, proof that if you put enough props on a brick, it will fly!"

"F-4 Phantom, proof that if you put big enough engines on a FREIGHTLINER, it will fly!"

I had flown this nimble little Grumman for about 6 of my hours when the opportunity to fly a P-3 in flight from Keflavik Iceland to Stornoway Scotland. The pilot looked over at me and told me to put it into a good tight bank for a 90 degree heading change, having literally walked from the Grumman to the P-3, I was kinda still in the nimble setting. On the Grumman, about 15-20 degrees of whell turn was enough to push you in your chair and make you pay attention! So, he said put it into a tight turn, and I rotated the P-3 control column about 20 degrees, and it barely began to bank, God what a pathetic aircraft!
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I thought I'd seen it all, until a 22WMR spun a bunny 2 1/4 times in the air!

[This message has been edited by DOCSpanky (edited July 13, 2000).]
 
Jeff......fell off, seperated from the pylons. Lots of the heavys can be induced to roll at a rate that is unhealthy for hangy down type things far away from the roll axis. I drove the 707, 727 and 737 and the 737 was the only one that was nimble and stout. Electra was a hoot because power was instant, just change pitch instead of waiting for the engines to spool up.

Sam.....never cut engines till you are sure you are at the right airport.
 
Okay, slightly off thread, but I'll tie this in to Doc Spanky's post.

What flight simulator software would be good for a brand new beginner? If it's expensive (say $100+), compare to cheaper software.

What computer would be required, etc.?
Heck, what questions should I be asking??? :confused:
 
May I also suggest these rules:

Always know when to get the hell out of Dodge.

Always know HOW to get the hell out of Dodge.

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"...and he that hath no sword,let him sell his garment, and buy one." Luke 22:36
"When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, is goods are in peace" Luke 11:21
"Come on Mav, do some of that pilot s***!" ["Goose" from TOP GUN]
 
Microsoft is dominant in the reality based simulator arena for a simple reason. You can set the realism from arcade, to real world. Several aviation schools are using FS 2000 for training, and the Navy and Air Force did a study that proved that men and women who had numerous hours in MS Flight Sims learned faster and became better pilots than those who were starting off green. They both now use them in initial flight training phases. So the next time you watch a F-16 on a F-18, consider that the pilots DO actually take proficiency exams at a PC desktop! Powered by the same software you can buy at your local COMPUSA! I have the Professional version as it includes TONS of real JEPPESEN flight planning data.

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I thought I'd seen it all, until a 22WMR spun a bunny 2 1/4 times in the air!
 
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