Rules for All Pilots

DorGunR

New member
RULES OF THE AIR

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull
the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling
the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than
up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to
keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot
start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power
to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the
angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of
survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get
to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking
about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide
out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of
experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you
empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels
them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going
round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the
passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour,
the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the
experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as
much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And
it's not subject to repeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above
you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
 
LMAO. But Doorgunner I'm surprised at you. Knowing your previous occupation I would have thought you would have left out #17. :D
 
Helo pilots' opinion:
"Helicopters don't fly, they beat the air into submission."

Everyone else's opinion:
"Helicopters don't fly, they vibrate so badly gravity rejects them."

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"...and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
Luke 22:36
"An armed society is a polite society."
Robert Heinlein
"Power corrupts. Absolute power - is kinda cool!"
Fred Reed
 
#8. Been there done that!

It takes three things to fly an aeroplane: Altitude, Airspeed and Ideas. Actually you can get by with only two.

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You have to be there when it's all over. Otherwise you can't say "I told you so."

Better days to be,

Ed
 
Don't need enemy fire to bring a helo down, just fly it long enough and it will fall apart by itself.

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Sam I am, grn egs n packin

Nikita Khrushchev predicted confidently in a speech in Bucharest, Rumania on June 19, 1962 that: " The United States will eventually fly the Communist Red Flag...the American people will hoist it themselves."
 
The old saw:

There are old pilots,
There are bold pilots,
But there are no old, bold pilots.

BTW: Does this also apply to bulleteers?

I forgot:
I watched a commander one day in that old twin Beach make 8 landings ... on one approach. Guess he couldn't negotiate that twin tail, huh? (Don't remember the desig).

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Life is sudden - timing everything ... a milli-second can affect a life event. Be safe.

[This message has been edited by andyb (edited July 07, 2000).]
 
Hell there isn't, we still got C.R. Sam. One of the oldest and boldest pilots ever to wheel an aeroplane. :D
 
Heard this one from a fellow at work:

25. When landing at night turn on your landing lights on approach. If you don't like what you see, turn them back off.
=============
Happy landings,
armus_rattus
 
These are also from experience. :D
When taking off in one of them ugly whirly-birds, make sure the five 300 lb. bikers you work with have got their Harleys parked at a SAFE distance from the take-off area! ;)

Always fly in something bigger than a Beechcraft Baron when you try to fly through storms that have NAMES! :eek:
 
Upon landing at a wrong airport, do not take time to learn a new language, just leave.

James E bout as old as I and damn lucky to survive his boldness.

andyb...that twin engine multilanding Beach was either Navy SNB or Aircorps C-45. Cargo, passenger, bomber and senior pilot humiliator.

Sam....follow me, I know a shortcut
 
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers. ;)
 
RAE, OUCH!

#26- In the event of loss of cabin pressure, a mask will drop down in front of you. Stretch the tubing to its full length to start the oxygen flow, place the mask securely about you face and breath normally.

#26 addendum- Since the plane is going down at a 45 degree angle, the mask will not be in front of you but about 6 feet out of your reach! But since the plane is headed towards the ground at a 45 degree angle, AND YOUR NOT GOING TO MISS!, why not leave the mask off so you can pass out? If you wake up alive, congradulate and thank the pilot, if you meet Saint Peter, at least you weren't awake to see it coming! ;)

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I thought I'd seen it all, until a 22WMR spun a bunny 2 1/4 times in the air!
 
* Upon hearing the command by the pilot, assume the "crash position" by putting your head between your knees and wrapping your ams securely around them.

* While in that position, kiss your ar$e goodbye ...
 
27. Speed is life, altitude is life insurance

28. Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier

29. Too many pilots are found in the wreckage with their hands around a microphone or holding onto a keyboard. Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone

30. Fly it until the last piece stops moving

31. No one has ever collided with the sky

32. Remember, you're always a student in an airplane

33. Hovering is for pilots who love to fly, but have no place to go

34. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire

35. A jet fighter in the air is a dual emergency: Low on fuel and on fire. A single engine jet is a triple emergency

36. The first thing every pilot does after making a gear up landing is to put the gear handle down

37. Things which do you no good in aviation:<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Altitude above you<LI>Runway behind you<LI>Fuel in the truck<LI>Half a second in history<LI>Approach plates in the car<LI>Airspeed you don't have</UL>



[This message has been edited by sensop (edited July 08, 2000).]
 
I had a healthy dose of #8 on Thursday, it was the first time I'd flown in two months.

Let me humbly submit #38

Never assume the other guy has a radio

Found this out Thursday while turning final and a Cessna 120 started taxing onto the runway. Forced a go-around. I tried to raise the offender on the radio, and failed to get a response. I also never heard him call he was departing. Was quite angry till I remembered 120s don't have electrical systems.
 
PKN, Remember that many pilots fly airplanes that do not have an electrical system; however, many of those now carry a hand held transceiver. I fly out of K34. We have some on the field that are flying WW-I replicas they built powered by VW engines without generators or altinators. Every one of them has a hand held radio and are very conscienous about using it to make reports. With the cost of the hand helds today there is no excuse for flying without one.
 
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