I've got both .41 and .44 Magnum Ruger Flat Tops, and to me with full house loads, I can barely feel the difference in recoil. I've replaced Ruger's "Cheese Grater" grips with wood ones of my own making, a bit thicker than the Cheese Graters. Both of these guns are easier to handle for me than my S&W's in the same calibers.
I also have a New Vaquero in .45 LC, but I don't load it up to the point where it approaches the recoil of the .41 and .44.
Ruger offers a Bisley model that some find, handles heavy recoil better that the standard, SAA or Ruger grip.
HTH's Rodfac (30Cal's Dad)