PLEASE hELP! tHE GOPHERS HAVE TAKEN OVER MY YARD!

hmmm...

Cyanide Gas!

Be Careful this is extremely dangerous!

But I always liked playing with explosives! So what the heck!

Seal off all the holes you can find.

Fill a GLASS! Beaker or bowl with about a quart of concentrated Sulfuric acid! Caution Sulfuric acid alone is quite dangerous! You can get it from plumbing supply shops, rubber gloves are advised.

And from a chemical supply house 500 Grams of Sodium Cyanide or Potassium Cyanide! Caution both are extremely poisionous!

Do the next thing VERY quickly!

Put the cyanide in a paper bag, and have a cover ready for the gopher hole.

Place the acid bowl in the gopher hole.

Then place the Cyanide in the acid.

Cover hole and LEAVE THE AREA! For say 8 hours or so!

Come back remove covers and try not to breathe!

Smelling "Almonds" is NOT good at this point!

Let holes air for say 8 hours.

Presto all gophers will be dead along with all the earthworms around the area, and any nosy cats!

Cyanide kills by disrupting the Krebs ATP cycle, quite painless actually like turning off the power to a light bulb!
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...nope but they put some of the above together and have been REAL QUIET lately...
 
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The Juicy Fruit thing works...however, it's not as much fun as this....
#1. Get a lawyer..a good one.
#2. Get cash for bail.
#3. Send wife to sisters for weekend.
#4. Locate main tunnel.
#5. Flood main tunnel overnight.
#6. 1/2 sticks of dynamite, primacord, shooter.
I doubt if I have to detail the rest. FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!

Oh, like #2-A = Buy beer. :D
 
go go gofer

Those windmill things that make a clicking sound seem to work well. the noise really irritates them. This solution is not as much fun and the folks next door might not like you anymore.
 
1/Use ferrets.
2/Fun way - Pour petrol down the holes and wait while the vapour goes throughout then 'nape it' or dynamite.
3/Block up all the holes, that way you have time to see them trying to gig out...leaving you with a nice headshot when the emerge.
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I ran through the kitchen, hearing customers' wives scream, "Oh my God, he's got a gun!!"

Past the grilled chicken, around the potato salad and hurdling the beer keg, I closed to killing range, dropped to one knee and let him have it.

Both barrels.

Pandemonium ensued. The volleyball game was abandoned, as parents grabbed their children in horror. My brother choked on a piece of chicken and spewed Bud Light through his nostrils.
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Hahah, Jesus talk about being discrete. Very funny story.
 
Here in Montana gophers are a huge problem, and a great source of entertainment. The ranchers and the farmers both just hate em. I've spent many a saturday zooking the little buggers with my ruger 10/22. I've used the AR15, but that gets expensive pretty quick. I've shot fields with a buddy of mine where we'll expend upwards of 2000 rounds in a day. Now we're not hitting critters with every shot, but I'd bet we've hit alot more than we missed. Someone recomended trapping, can't remeber the name. I don't know why that would work so good though. You still gotta kill em, and there nasty little buggers. I just shoot them in the field and leave them lay. There buddies will eat them, or the crows. Some times the darn things will start to eat their buddies before they even stop twitchin. As far as making pets of them, I can't say I'd recomend that either. Some of the gophers here carry plague. I wouldn't want that in my house. Anyways, if you have gophers just shoot them and be done. They always come back eventually, but if you thin them out, it takes them a couple of years to get back up again. They are definetally a renewable resource. :rolleyes:
 
The juicy fruit gum thing is for moles, not gophers. And Purdue University spent a lot of Federal grant money to test if it works...it does not.

I have used a product called Gopher Getter, looks like a big firecracker and has a fuse you light. Gives off a foul odor. You place it in the burrow light it and seal the burrow with the thingy in it. Seal off all the burrows you can find. It works. Used it for rats in NYC housing projects where bait was not a good idea. Smells bad though.
 
I once had a gopher in my yard, and I finally got two gopher traps, found his tunne, set one each direction, and caught the gopher. The cat ate him legs and all.
You're going to laugh at this, but I had a neighbor who had one, and she had been told to get the little whirly birds on a stick, and put a couple around where he was. She did and he left. I don't know if it was coincidence or what. I also read somewhere that it would work, but I used the traps.

I tried water and poison grain, and nothing worked.

Go get a couple of gopher traps.

Jerry
 
OK, watched this trick while I was in Viet Nam and used it to catch ground squirrels.

Also used it to feed a buddy's snake...

Take a gallon, GLASS, pickle jar.

Fill with water.

Tip it upside down over the gopher hole, and as the water drains into the hole the gopher will pop out into the jar spitting, coughing out water.

Add lid, spray in a little car starting fluid, wait till said animal dies...repeat as necessary!

The second method would be to go and gather castor beans...they grow wild here in the People's Republic...be careful as they are considered a WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION so even getting caught with the beans might present a problem.

Wear gloves, do not handle (scent, not danger) and put a few of the beans in and a round the gopher holes...a few days all will be right with the world!
 
My dad just used soapy water and poured it over the tunnels, seems to piss them off and he'd pop them when they'd come out of the tunnel with his airgun.

I have a 5 acre yard though and it's filled with the little buggers so I'm not sure what to do there must be tunnel across 4 of the 5 acres ... and that's alot of ground to cover.
 
A sure fire method to get rid of gophers, breakup juicy fruit gum around there holes, they will eat it, then pug up there plumbing and die, works every time, works great on mice and moles also, I learned it from a old farmer, he said it was crude but worked great, I guess outside it would work great, but in the house the mice might die in the walls;) you might get a awful scent coming out of the walls in a month or so LOL. Aim Small hit small. RAMbo.
 
ferret legalization war
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You guys are really tacklin the tough issue out there in Cali, eh Jim? ;)

JK. Praytell, WHY are they illegal? Are the a nuisance if they escape I'm guessing - getting into people's trash, etc.?
 
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