PLEASE hELP! tHE GOPHERS HAVE TAKEN OVER MY YARD!
- Thread starter adam3
- Start date
I used to love gophers!
I was once married to a girl who loved her garden. We had a house on three acres, about nine miles out of town. I worked pretty hard at keeping the lawn nice, but I hated working in her garden.
The gophers invaded, and I tried water, biowar, chem warfare, etc. No luck.
Finally, it dawned on me to convince my wife that the gophers would eventually eat the roots in her vegetable garden. (I have no idea that such a thing is possible, but I was very convincing.)
This panicked my bride, and she threw a fit; insisting that I shoot everyone of those *&^%$# pests.
Thus, instead of being allowed to help pull weeds, I was forced to sit in the shade with a scoped Winchester Model 74 full of hollowpoints.
This was very thirsty work, and I would usually have a beer or two while keeping a vigil eye out for the intruders.
The most memorable kill came on an October afternoon, when we hosted a barbeque for my customers and their families. I was a fishing guide at the time.)
There were about fifty of us sitting under the trees, eating brisket from Dozier's in Fulshear, TX, and sipping suds from the keg.
My neighbors' son dropped his plate, pointed behind me and yelled "GOPHER!". I turned, and sure enough, right in front of my reloading shack sat one of the insidious tunnel rats, looking like he owned the place.
My wife looked horror stricken, and I knew I had to act. Dashing inside, I grabbed the first gun I could find; a Browning Citori 12 gauge O/U.
I ran through the kitchen, hearing customers' wives scream, "Oh my God, he's got a gun!!"
Past the grilled chicken, around the potato salad and hurdling the beer keg, I closed to killing range, dropped to one knee and let him have it.
Both barrels.
Pandemonium ensued. The volleyball game was abandoned, as parents grabbed their children in horror. My brother choked on a piece of chicken and spewed Bud Light through his nostrils.
Larry Bozka, nationally known outdoor writer laughed so hard he dropped his guitar and fell out of his chair.
My wife was pissed.
I'm single now, and she still has the house. Word is, she's married to a nice guy that's really handy around the place.
But I'll bet money he never got those gophers.
I was once married to a girl who loved her garden. We had a house on three acres, about nine miles out of town. I worked pretty hard at keeping the lawn nice, but I hated working in her garden.
The gophers invaded, and I tried water, biowar, chem warfare, etc. No luck.
Finally, it dawned on me to convince my wife that the gophers would eventually eat the roots in her vegetable garden. (I have no idea that such a thing is possible, but I was very convincing.)
This panicked my bride, and she threw a fit; insisting that I shoot everyone of those *&^%$# pests.
Thus, instead of being allowed to help pull weeds, I was forced to sit in the shade with a scoped Winchester Model 74 full of hollowpoints.
This was very thirsty work, and I would usually have a beer or two while keeping a vigil eye out for the intruders.
The most memorable kill came on an October afternoon, when we hosted a barbeque for my customers and their families. I was a fishing guide at the time.)
There were about fifty of us sitting under the trees, eating brisket from Dozier's in Fulshear, TX, and sipping suds from the keg.
My neighbors' son dropped his plate, pointed behind me and yelled "GOPHER!". I turned, and sure enough, right in front of my reloading shack sat one of the insidious tunnel rats, looking like he owned the place.
My wife looked horror stricken, and I knew I had to act. Dashing inside, I grabbed the first gun I could find; a Browning Citori 12 gauge O/U.
I ran through the kitchen, hearing customers' wives scream, "Oh my God, he's got a gun!!"
Past the grilled chicken, around the potato salad and hurdling the beer keg, I closed to killing range, dropped to one knee and let him have it.
Both barrels.
Pandemonium ensued. The volleyball game was abandoned, as parents grabbed their children in horror. My brother choked on a piece of chicken and spewed Bud Light through his nostrils.
Larry Bozka, nationally known outdoor writer laughed so hard he dropped his guitar and fell out of his chair.
My wife was pissed.
I'm single now, and she still has the house. Word is, she's married to a nice guy that's really handy around the place.
But I'll bet money he never got those gophers.
Steve Smith
New member
Go to the store, buy some Juicy Fruit chewing gum, and put a half stick where ever you you find a tunnel. Hell, put it all over the place (in the tunnels, of course).
They love the tast and it stops 'em up...PERMANANTLY.
They love the tast and it stops 'em up...PERMANANTLY.
Step one: find somebody who has a pet ferret. This will be easy unless you're in Hawaii in which case it'll be close to impossible, or in California where there's at least 250,000 pet ferrets in-state but they're illegal. Anywhere else, pet shops will have 'em.
Step two: collect about pound of ferret poop. Dry, wet, doesn't matter
.
Step three: soak said skinnykitty droppings in a gallon of water for a couple of days. Let it sit in the sun if possible.
Step four: pour the resulting "tea" down the holes.
Congradulations. You just served the gophers an "eviction notice" that they WILL take seriously. Bad news is, they won't even hang around long enough for you to shoot 'em...they'll be GONE.
Step two: collect about pound of ferret poop. Dry, wet, doesn't matter
.Step three: soak said skinnykitty droppings in a gallon of water for a couple of days. Let it sit in the sun if possible.
Step four: pour the resulting "tea" down the holes.
Congradulations. You just served the gophers an "eviction notice" that they WILL take seriously. Bad news is, they won't even hang around long enough for you to shoot 'em...they'll be GONE.
The Petco pet supply chain reported doing $1.25million dollars worth of ferret-related business in the year 2000, in NORTHERN California alone. Ferret toys, feed, diet supplements, the strange triangular litterboxes they like, etc. "Modern Ferret" magazine reports subscription rates in Calif topping any other state, and they deliver in an un-marked plain wrapper.
Several ferret websites print maps showing how to get around the California border agricultural inspection stations with your incoming fert.
If EVER anybody needed proof prohibition doesn't work.
The seemingly endless ferret legalization war in Sacramento was what got me into grassroots politics in the first place. I once brought the two I used to have into my state Senator's office, his secretary thought they were the cutest dang things she'd ever seen.
Jim
Several ferret websites print maps showing how to get around the California border agricultural inspection stations with your incoming fert.
If EVER anybody needed proof prohibition doesn't work
.The seemingly endless ferret legalization war in Sacramento was what got me into grassroots politics in the first place. I once brought the two I used to have into my state Senator's office, his secretary thought they were the cutest dang things she'd ever seen.
Jim
"Modern Ferret"??? This is a joke right? There is a magazine for ferret owners--like Cat Fancy or Dog Fancy--that I see at the bodega? It comes to your house like SAR?
Ferrets are against the law in Kalifornia? The police have nothing better to do?
"[meanwhile back at Richmond PD Central Command] O.K., Muldoon. We have word back from the CI inside on this whole ferret dealing conspiracy! Call the District Attorney then the SRT team. Scramble the choppers. Tonight, we're going after March--the ferret kingpin."
[alright, I'll bite. Why triangle shaped?]
Ferrets are against the law in Kalifornia? The police have nothing better to do?
"[meanwhile back at Richmond PD Central Command] O.K., Muldoon. We have word back from the CI inside on this whole ferret dealing conspiracy! Call the District Attorney then the SRT team. Scramble the choppers. Tonight, we're going after March--the ferret kingpin."
[alright, I'll bite. Why triangle shaped?]
J
Jeff, CA
Guest
From what I've been told, gophers come to the surface through side tunnels, which they block off from the main tunnel before they break through. That's why gas bombs don't work - you're only gassing a short length of side tunnel. You have to dig back until you uncover the main line, and drop the gas in there.
And speaking of ridiculous bans, you can't get kangaroo-hide boots in PRK. I guess the PRK legislature thinks it knows more about kangaroo population management than Australia.
And speaking of ridiculous bans, you can't get kangaroo-hide boots in PRK. I guess the PRK legislature thinks it knows more about kangaroo population management than Australia.
Triangular litter pans: because ferrets raise their little tails and back into corners . So you set the litterpan up that way so the litter IS the corner.
What's remarkable is that most cops really don't care about the ban. When I lived in San Francisco and took 'em out all the time to local parks and such, at least 22 cops saw 'em, only one gave me any verbal flak and even he backed off when Felix started licking some kid's face.
The cops that REALLY care are the wardens of the Department of Fish & Game. There was a case in SoCal a few years back, where some guy had a breakup and his ex-SO decided payback meant turning in the uglypuppies. So DFG shows up, bangs on door, demands the ferrets. He tells his "lady" warden to go get a search warrant...whoops, he knows his rights. The warden gets laughed at by multiple Judges astonished at the idea of a weasel raid. So lacking a warrant, she needs to personally see the ferts. So she STAKED OUT HIS HOUSE FOR TWO DAYS. The guy meanwhile calls local ferret activists, they get ahold of the news media, who come out to interview the warden about effective use of police resources. She slunk away with her tail between her legs.
See, the ban itself was an old screwup in which the wienercats got declared "wild". They're not, they're true domestic animals from a zoology point of view - a subspecies altered by a human breeding program. DFG and the Commission that runs 'em has a charter that only allows 'em to regulate "wild and feral" mammals. To get around that, the Commission wrote a regulation re-defining "wild" as "any mammal not commonly domesticated in California" - but their charter was written in ENGLISH so the ban itself was illegal from top to bottom.
This is no different from some agency such as BATF defining revolvers as being semi-auto and then harrasing us gunnies on that basis.
In their desperate attempts to cover all this up and deliver max pain to ferret owners, they'll go to ANY lengths. If you're busted with a houseweasel and want to challenge the bust in court, fine, no problem, your ferret will also be present in court.
Dead and pickled.
Your other option is to ship it out of state alive, and plead guilty and (sometimes) pay a small fine.
Anybody want to guess which is more popular?
It's always a horrible idea to have one gov't agency both create "regulations" and enforce them. That's how BATF works, and how DFG operates.
Both bear marked similarities.
. So you set the litterpan up that way so the litter IS the corner.What's remarkable is that most cops really don't care about the ban. When I lived in San Francisco and took 'em out all the time to local parks and such, at least 22 cops saw 'em, only one gave me any verbal flak and even he backed off when Felix started licking some kid's face.
The cops that REALLY care are the wardens of the Department of Fish & Game. There was a case in SoCal a few years back, where some guy had a breakup and his ex-SO decided payback meant turning in the uglypuppies. So DFG shows up, bangs on door, demands the ferrets. He tells his "lady" warden to go get a search warrant...whoops, he knows his rights. The warden gets laughed at by multiple Judges astonished at the idea of a weasel raid. So lacking a warrant, she needs to personally see the ferts. So she STAKED OUT HIS HOUSE FOR TWO DAYS. The guy meanwhile calls local ferret activists, they get ahold of the news media, who come out to interview the warden about effective use of police resources. She slunk away with her tail between her legs
.See, the ban itself was an old screwup in which the wienercats got declared "wild". They're not, they're true domestic animals from a zoology point of view - a subspecies altered by a human breeding program. DFG and the Commission that runs 'em has a charter that only allows 'em to regulate "wild and feral" mammals. To get around that, the Commission wrote a regulation re-defining "wild" as "any mammal not commonly domesticated in California" - but their charter was written in ENGLISH so the ban itself was illegal from top to bottom.
This is no different from some agency such as BATF defining revolvers as being semi-auto and then harrasing us gunnies on that basis.
In their desperate attempts to cover all this up and deliver max pain to ferret owners, they'll go to ANY lengths. If you're busted with a houseweasel and want to challenge the bust in court, fine, no problem, your ferret will also be present in court.
Dead and pickled.
Your other option is to ship it out of state alive, and plead guilty and (sometimes) pay a small fine.
Anybody want to guess which is more popular?
It's always a horrible idea to have one gov't agency both create "regulations" and enforce them. That's how BATF works, and how DFG operates.
Both bear marked similarities.
Someone somewhere posted about a gopher/prairie dog/groundhog removal process that is as insanely fun as it is dangerous. I've never tried it, but it sounds like it would work. here is what you do:
1. Scout out all of the exit holes from the burrows. Be thorough, this is EXTREMELY important.
2. Cover all but two of the holes with a goodly amount of dirt. Really tamp it down. the two uncovered holes should be far apart, like opposite ends of the tunnel complex if possible. They should also be far away from any, uhm, occupied and/or valuable structures.
3. Build a fire at one of the tunnel mouths. Nothing really big, just a good, long lasting, low-intenisty little fire. The key here is to get open flames that will not burn out for a few hours. This won't work if the fire burns out, and you do NOT want to have to go stoke it up again if you like your eyebrows and dislike Burn Treatment Units.
4. Take a small cylinder of propane, open the valve, and toss it down the other hole.
5. Go someplace else.
Like I said, I have no idea if its a good idea, but it sounds like it would at least be effective. Fun too.
Safe is another matter altogether.
Mike
PS In addition to being questionable from a safety perspective, it is also probable that this violates many laws. Use at your own risk.
1. Scout out all of the exit holes from the burrows. Be thorough, this is EXTREMELY important.
2. Cover all but two of the holes with a goodly amount of dirt. Really tamp it down. the two uncovered holes should be far apart, like opposite ends of the tunnel complex if possible. They should also be far away from any, uhm, occupied and/or valuable structures.
3. Build a fire at one of the tunnel mouths. Nothing really big, just a good, long lasting, low-intenisty little fire. The key here is to get open flames that will not burn out for a few hours. This won't work if the fire burns out, and you do NOT want to have to go stoke it up again if you like your eyebrows and dislike Burn Treatment Units.
4. Take a small cylinder of propane, open the valve, and toss it down the other hole.
5. Go someplace else.
Like I said, I have no idea if its a good idea, but it sounds like it would at least be effective. Fun too.
Safe is another matter altogether.
Mike
PS In addition to being questionable from a safety perspective, it is also probable that this violates many laws. Use at your own risk.
Vladimir_Berkov
New member
WTF do gophers eat anyways? Perhaps you could place some food and draw them out.
Then it is a simple question of whether or not you want to use the .22 or the .50 BMG!
Then it is a simple question of whether or not you want to use the .22 or the .50 BMG!
.22 shorts
Had a girlfriend in the city and her garden had tons of gophers.
Buddy alerted me to using .22 shorts HP's in a long barreled rifle. Several days of hanging out at her place...we had a lot of ...uhum..."studying" to do anyway to kill time and in between I used the .22 short to pop gophers when they popped their little heads up...close to dusk.
Buddy of mine got rid of his with the reverse trap? The one with the guillotine upside down?
You block as many holes as possible and save two of them...put these little suckers deep and block out all light..the little suckers think that you blocked their holes and go to dig out..."snap!" the trap snaps as hard as a mouse trap and gets them around the neck....they can't go backward because of the trap....bye bye bye, gopher.
Good hunting.
Had a girlfriend in the city and her garden had tons of gophers.
Buddy alerted me to using .22 shorts HP's in a long barreled rifle. Several days of hanging out at her place...we had a lot of ...uhum..."studying" to do anyway to kill time and in between I used the .22 short to pop gophers when they popped their little heads up...close to dusk.
Buddy of mine got rid of his with the reverse trap? The one with the guillotine upside down?
You block as many holes as possible and save two of them...put these little suckers deep and block out all light..the little suckers think that you blocked their holes and go to dig out..."snap!" the trap snaps as hard as a mouse trap and gets them around the neck....they can't go backward because of the trap....bye bye bye, gopher.
Good hunting.
PropellerHead
New member
An alternative....
A while ago I saw a special on some cable channel that documented some fella that had converted a "street-cleaner" vacuum truck into a giant prarie-dog-sucker. He drove around ranch land in Montana IIRC, and when he found a prarie-dog town, he'd just shove this three-inch diameter hose down one of he holes and turn on the vacuum.
In a minute or two you could watch one of the little suckers slide right up out of their hole and into the foam-padded "tank" on the truck. They also showed him "gearing up" with thick leather gloves to go in and retrive the angry little furball.
I guess they are then sold as pets in Japan.
I thought is was simply ingenious!
(Not quite sure how to apply the idea in this situation though....)
A while ago I saw a special on some cable channel that documented some fella that had converted a "street-cleaner" vacuum truck into a giant prarie-dog-sucker. He drove around ranch land in Montana IIRC, and when he found a prarie-dog town, he'd just shove this three-inch diameter hose down one of he holes and turn on the vacuum.
In a minute or two you could watch one of the little suckers slide right up out of their hole and into the foam-padded "tank" on the truck. They also showed him "gearing up" with thick leather gloves to go in and retrive the angry little furball.
I guess they are then sold as pets in Japan.
I thought is was simply ingenious!
(Not quite sure how to apply the idea in this situation though....)
There is a plant that you can get at any nursery called a "gopher plant" You [plant a few of those around the yard and Voila! they disappear.
I had a thought for a "gopher getter" several years ago. You take a board and mount a piece of galvanized water pipe on it that is capped on one end and has a hole in the side of the pipe at the cap. You then run a squib, like that used to ignite model rockets through the hole and then load the pipe with black powder and BB shot with appropriate wadding.
You then make a wire trigger that looks sorta like one of those Easter egg dippers that come with the coloring kits that runs through a couple of guides along the side of the pipe. The end of the barrel of the pipe should be centered on the loop in the wire. The other end goes to a switching mechanism that will complete the circuit from a battery to the squib.
You then place the device in a hole dug along the tunnel with the muzzle facing into the hole and then hook up the battery. Cover the thing with a board to exclude all light and wait for the BOOM!
When the little dear comes racing up the tunnel, he bumps the wire and the pipe fires the BB shot through the wire actuator and then his little brain.
The only reason I never made one of these is bacause I have always lived in populous areas and I wouldn't want a kid to get hold of this thing.
I once had gophers in my yard and I worked at a company that machined quite a bit of magnesium. I stuffed the hole with mag, stuffed a lighted highway flare down the hole and then stuffed the hose of the vacuum cleaner, on BLOW, down the hole. The ground was glowing before I was done and the little B------ never showed up again. If you lack the mag, you can just use a highway flare. Don't expect the ground to glow, though. The vacuum blows the superheated air down the hole so fast they don't have time to plug the hole when they smell the fumes like they do with gopher bombs.
I had a thought for a "gopher getter" several years ago. You take a board and mount a piece of galvanized water pipe on it that is capped on one end and has a hole in the side of the pipe at the cap. You then run a squib, like that used to ignite model rockets through the hole and then load the pipe with black powder and BB shot with appropriate wadding.
You then make a wire trigger that looks sorta like one of those Easter egg dippers that come with the coloring kits that runs through a couple of guides along the side of the pipe. The end of the barrel of the pipe should be centered on the loop in the wire. The other end goes to a switching mechanism that will complete the circuit from a battery to the squib.
You then place the device in a hole dug along the tunnel with the muzzle facing into the hole and then hook up the battery. Cover the thing with a board to exclude all light and wait for the BOOM!
When the little dear comes racing up the tunnel, he bumps the wire and the pipe fires the BB shot through the wire actuator and then his little brain.
The only reason I never made one of these is bacause I have always lived in populous areas and I wouldn't want a kid to get hold of this thing.
I once had gophers in my yard and I worked at a company that machined quite a bit of magnesium. I stuffed the hole with mag, stuffed a lighted highway flare down the hole and then stuffed the hose of the vacuum cleaner, on BLOW, down the hole. The ground was glowing before I was done and the little B------ never showed up again. If you lack the mag, you can just use a highway flare. Don't expect the ground to glow, though. The vacuum blows the superheated air down the hole so fast they don't have time to plug the hole when they smell the fumes like they do with gopher bombs.
The juicy fruit gum is supposed to work well on moles also. My father-in-law used to raise great crops of molehills on his lawn, and tried flooding, shooting (poking a hole down a freshly forming molehill with a stick and then sticking the barrel of his 6.5 Carcano down there and touching one off. The concussion usually got them. He gave up on all that fun when he found out about the Juicy Fruit.