Persuading Wife to Carry

My wife does not even want to learn about guns. She says she is not very comfortable with them. But she is ok with me owning them and was ok for mew to get my CCW ( which I am still waiting on ) . I figure there is no way pushing her cause it will upset her .
 
I took an NRA Basic Pistol class a few weeks ago. In the class were 4-5 women who had never fired a gun before. At the end of the class when we all shared our feedback and thoughts about the class, every single one of them literally raved about how much more comfortable they felt and how they thought they could never enjoy shooting a gun. It made that much difference to them.

I'm in a similar situation with my girlfriend. If she ever does take the class, she will want to take it WITHOUT me. My presence creates pressure to perform at a certain level that wouldn't be there with strangers and supportive instructors.

Everyone's comments not to pressure are accurate, but if she is interested in at least taking a course, I think it could be the gateway to more comfort around firearms. And give her the option to take it with or without you, depending on her preference.

If she's just not interested, drop it. Changing people is tough and usually ends poorly.
 
If she's just not interested, drop it. Changing people is tough and usually ends poorly.
Click to expand...
So true I tried to push at first and she just got angry with me so I stopped trying to push and if she don't want to touch em that's ok with me. ( Has to be ok with me ) . For now I use range time as my time.
 
Thanks for the responses. I should briefly clarify that when I say I'm planning on getting her a gun of her own, it's because she said that's what she wants. I also intend to take her shopping for one, including trying a few out at the range. I don't plan on picking one for her.
Click to expand...

Very, very smart.

Instead of giving a gun directly, I'm a big fan of giving gift certificates (or handwritten coupons) so the recipient can shop for her own gun, along with coupons for range time and rental fees to help her sort through the possibilities. Better still if those gifts are accompanied by educational material such as books or DVDs; just be sure that the material is excellent and interesting so it will be truly helpful to her.

As far as dragging her to the range goes, it just sounds like she hasn't been bitten by the bug yet. Three things might help:

1) See if any of your local ranges offer a ladies' night. Visiting the range when other women are there often helps newcomers get past the discomfort, plus she might make some new friends.

2) If your range has an active IDPA club going with regular matches, consider asking your wife to join you at the matches. A surprising number of people don't much enjoy boring old practice without a goal, but get very excited to practice when there's a match involved. Your wife might be one of those. Put it to her as a "couple activity" you can do together and see what happens.

3) Look for a local women only class of some sort. It's possible she's being held back by some stupid little question she's not comfortable asking you. Getting her into a group of other women, some of whom will almost certainly have similar questions, might help.

pax
 
Ladies Party-shoot

Ok, so this is what we do......we have some lady shooters....my gal can outshoot most guys, all 5'2" of her. She and I have get togethers, with all lady shooters we have trained, or gotten to know...each one invites someone who maybe thinking about it.....they get to touch, handle, and chit chat about the guns, shooting, self defense while munching on munchies. YUP, a gun hen party! We do a dry fire with a laser training tool I have.......ladies don't listen to guys, they distrust us just a bit, but when they talk to other ladies, realize that average women, small in stature, little hands, CAN SHOOT! ...BAM, suddenly you are gonna need another weapon budget. I have grown to hate hearing...honey, look at this one, I want it! LOL
 
Keep in mind

What fits nice in the hand MIGHT HURT when fired.

Alot of ladies say the snubbys HURT...the backstrap with all that recoil doesn't work for alot of women, and again, if it hurts, there won't be much training, or profiency gained with it.
 
My ex always carried a S&W 60 in her truck before we had CC here. We lived in a very remote area. After being followed by 3 guys in a car trying to pull her over @ midnight, she made it home & showed them her gun. They left in a cloud of dust. When I asked why she didn't call me she said that she was so scared, she didn't even think about it. She got her permit as soon as they became available. She had never fired a gun before we met.
 
What fits nice in the hand MIGHT HURT when fired.

Alot of ladies say the snubbys HURT...the backstrap with all that recoil doesn't work for alot of women, and again, if it hurts, there won't be much training, or profiency gained with it.
Click to expand...

Verdad speaks truth. Simply physics: any gun (semi or revolver) that's very small and lightweight can have this problem. Solution? Make sure she tries a variety of sizes on the range; even if she initially thinks she only wants a very small gun, encourage her to shoot several different sizes and weights before she begins narrowing down her choices.

pax
 
GI Sandv-
What I have done in the past with my wife to get her to be more aware, etc is to tell her about some instances or dangerous encounters of any kind, wierd people living in the area or anything of that nature. Not to scare her mind you, just to heighten her awareness a notch or 2...Granted I live in a fairly "safe" place, but plenty of wierdos and red necks, child molesters, etc to make anyone a little nerveous depending where they are and who they are with. So after some more training, familiarity and more training and more familiarity she will get her CHL if she likes it or not. Hope I'm not rambling and this makes sense
 
Cute little guns are almost always TERRIBLE beginner guns. People suggesting new shooters start on an air-weight .38 special pocket gun or a tiny .380 blow-back should be boiled alive in Hoppes #9. :D
 
My wife intends to get her CC soon, but since she is staff at a major no carry allowed on campus university with tons of crime, she is coming to a decision to carry regardless when that time comes. She enjoys shooting, outdoors more than indoors, and is a bit intimidated by larger groups of guys in some range situations.

A lot of gals have a understandable resistance to changing their wardrobe styles to accommodate a pistol (lots of guys as well) but my wife also understands that at 53 years of age, she is not getting the same visual scrutiny now that she once upon a time did, and she comments on the frequent times she accidently discovers I am carrying with less than intentionally concealing attire, like shorts and a tee shirt.

And, as a lot of you have mentioned, picking her weapon is a bad idea for a number of reasons, including assuming a tiny pistol is the only thing she can conceal, only to discover the recoil related to the little guns and the need to provide the mass necessary to make them cycle properly are unacceptable.

Point being, nobody is going to notice a concealed firearm unless the attire is totally inappropriate for that purpose, on guys or gals, and when combined with a good holster and belt, even a pretty heavy and sizeable pistol can be carried confidently concealed and confidently enjoyed when practicing at the range due to the additional mass and related decreased recoil.
 
I used to teach as an NRA instructor. We did a lot of women's self defense classes. It was interesting to watch their faces as we explained the legal use of lethal force, especially the fact that if they call 911 the police have no legal obligation to get there at all much less in time to save them. Half of them were sure we were making this stuff up. At this same time period my wife was working in a job that required her to travel and spend a night or two in a hotel in places like Chicago, Atlanta, etc. I tried to talk her into the idea of carrying a gun when she was out of town by herself but she resisted. I didn't push it, I felt that this was a decision that she had to make. One night up in Chicago she was in a nice hotel downtown and some guy tried to get in her room. It turned her around 180 degrees on the idea of carrying a sidearm. Most women simply don't realize that they are a prime target for attack, that they are mostly unaware of their surroundings, that the police can't get to them in time or may be too busy, and that with minimal effort they can learn to take care of themselves with proper training. The NRA self defense classes are excellent and if you can find one in your area your wife needs to go through it. It will change how she looks at the world she lives in.
 
it all depends on the reason they are afraid to carry the gun around.

ive known quite afew women who thought mace was all they needed, and ive nown others who thought they could merely kick a guy in the jewels andwin the day.

if its a lackof interest in physical violence, just suggest that if she can find a local boxing organization,and beat thesnot out of two different guys who weigh more then 250 pounds..

that would turn more ladies around.
 
My wife made the decision to carry realizing that her old school Marine husband with his head on a swivel wasn't around 24/7. I work overnight shifts. I'm not there when she's out to the grocery, the mall, etc.

She carries and as many posted before me, it was a deeply personal decision. A decision reached after many different conversations regarding, at their foundation, shooting and killing someone. That is carry. Accepting that the weight of the loaded gun may become the burden of that ultimate decision.

Among the things that helped was video of this woman.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzanna_Gratia_Hupp

Believe it or not, some of Penn and Teller's show "Bullsh*t" gun control episode was instrumental as well.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ec7_1251312990

Give your wife support and encouragement. Good luck!
 
I've always been of the thinking, if you are not fully prepared to use a gun to defend yourself, you shouldn't carry one.

It really comes down to a personal decision that "If my life is in danger, I WILL use a gun to defend myself"

Bottom line: reluctance kills.

She has to be ready.
 
I've always been of the thinking, if you are not fully prepared to use a gun to defend yourself, you shouldn't carry one.
Click to expand...

Thing is, most people say they'll do this-and-that when something goes down, but the reality is...you don't know until it happens.

I don't know either (nor want to) but I carry anyway and train just in case. Who knows, I may freeze up like a T1000.:cool:

But anyway my GF has her permit but still won't take my K9 with her, not even in the glovebox. She just doesn't feel the need. I guess growing up in Jersey will do that.
 
I have been a shooter all of my life. My wife tolerated it for the first 30 years of our marriage. suddenly, out of the blue she said she wanted to shoot.

I took her down to Caswell's shooting range in Mesa AZ. She met an instructor whom she had confidence in and signed up for a series of courses.

The course culminated in her obtaining her CCW. She also repossessed her TZ 75. Tryed to take my DW.

I knew she had become addicted when she overheard a fellow student complaining about haveing difficulty reloading her magazine. Her comment to the complainer was "get a revolver". She was shooting the DW.

In the end her favorite pistol is a Ruger MkII standard 22. Ten rounds in the 10 ring up to 15 yards is a good deterent.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top