Overcoming mental aversion

The very first firearm that I bought was a .22 pistol.
One of my two best friends did also, the same brand and model.
The following year he, either accidentally or not, killed himself with his.
But I never associated his gun, or mine, with his death.
Tools are just that.
So, don't let the passion for an enjoyable hobby, or even a way of life, suffer because of what someone else might do.
It wasn't the fault of the gun.
 
First, I want to thank everyone who participated in this thread. Whether I agreed with your input or not, every post gave me food for thought.

That said.... What a difference a week makes.

While I'm cautiously optimistic, I'm finding myself looking forward to bird season. I suspect that loading up the truck will be difficult, but I also suspect that I'll be fine 10 seconds after the first bird has flown by me(*).



(*) I say "flown by" because let's face it, I'm a lousy shot. The odds are very much in the bird's favor. ;)
 
I encouraged a friend to purchase a gun to hunt with, He later used it on himself.
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Ouch.

I talked a friend through a purchase on a 20 gauge, advised him on what to buy, etc. A few years later, he shot himself with it. The kid was about my little brother's age.

He had all kinds of problems, never was real well adjusted. It was sad, but it was something that he was going to do eventually, either by literal suicide, or something else- a car wreck, a drug overdose, a fight. When I got the call, I wasn't surprised.
 
Never had someone close commit suicide - but I was in a bad car accident, and afterwords I was afraid to drive. I think that it is natural to temporarily feel nervous around the tool or thing that helped cause a moment of great pain in our lives. Time heals all.
 
Years ago, my best friend committed suicide with a Ruger Blackhawk revolver in .357Magnum. I was a pallbearer at his funeral, and it was a tough time for me. I guess I was lucky to come to understand at least a large part of why he did what he did, what he was going through at the time, and to realize that how he committed suicide was totally unimportant--the issue was why.

I think that at some level, we all find within ourselves a desire to shift the focus or blame away from where it belongs to avoid having to deal with the real issues involved. It was ultimately a decision HE made and carried out. The gun he used to accomplish his purpose was just a tool and didn't do anything other than function as it was designed to do.

I'm sorry for your loss.
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I have nothing I could possibly add to that...
 
The only thing I could add here is that nobody will kill themselves intentionally just because there happens to be a gun in the house. No one kills themselves without a reason. Unfortunately, I thnk it cannot be denied that a gun just might make it easier. While I've known a few who did shoot themselves, it seems like I've reaad of just as many who found another way.
 
UPDATE:

This weekend was the season opener for quail. Myself and a few coworkers went on a camping/hunting trip. Had a blast. Didn't get any birds (drought has really taken it's toll!), but had a lot of fun.

The "best" part (if that word applies) was that I was an hour into the hunt the first time I thought about my dad. I was tired from walking so I sat down on a rock to rest and it hit me... There I was, comfortably sitting down with a shotgun in my lap... The last pose my father struck. I thought about how easy it would be to do it myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or depressed. When I say "how easy it would be" I'm referencing the physical act, not expressing any sort of desire.

So sitting on the rock was a decidedly sobering buzzkill moment but after I got back up and started walking again I was back in the game.

In summary: The scars are obviously still there, but the mental aversion has been overcome.



On a side note: A few weeks ago I bought a (replica) Remmington Model 1858. I'd never fired cap and ball before and the purchase was an impulse buy. But I brought it along as something to play with in camp... Great fun!
 
I just reread this thread...

In my original post I mention the smell. As I sit here, I can't remember the smell. Am I doing better because I'm blocking things out, or is this simply time making memories fuzzy (as it is prone to doing)?
 
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