You are using a 9mm handgun, and when you shoot someone, he is going to be wounded very badly. the other guys are going to be using whatever their damaged little brains consider to be proper, and when they shoot someone, that person will be wounded, too.
Killing and disabling is not a given thing. Whoever gets in the best hit will be the one that kills or disables. If you can make disabling shots, unless those people can shoot better than you do with your 9mm, they don't really have any advantage, do they?
The only shot that will disable is a well placed, solid hit by a high performing bullet, and even that needs a dash of luck. Choice of cartridge is almost irrelevant with a heart shot, whether it is 9, .40, .45, it still will have an element of chance. I remember reading about a teenager who attempted suicide. He held a .44 magnum against his chest, blew a hole through his heart, and STILL survived.
Anything 9mm and above has the potential for 1 shot disable/kill. Fate or luck plays an enormous role in whether any particular shot is disabling, no matter what cartridge you choose. Skill, and ammunition choice are more important than caliber, a poor hit with a 12 gauge will still be useless, but a heart shot with a silvertip will almost certainly end a fight.
So, yes, you are asking the wrong people. These are people who watch too many movies or whatever, and don't pay attention to the reality of what a heart/lung shot means in 99% of shootings, no matter what round is being used.
that said, I still say that larger rounds are inherently deadlier. No doubt. If you were in a different situation, say leading a swat team into gang land, or living among 400 pound behemoths, I'd suggest you move up a bit.
But, for the use of home and physical defense on a day to day basis, i suggest you use the 9mm, become skilled, and trust in that.
