Ok... fess up!!

some funny stuff, many years ago I was out hunting with a freind and his dad, First time hunter. He ended up shooting a deer, and it ran about 50 yards and fell out of sight, He looked at me like it was my fault and asked what do we do? I looked at him, and said we need to sneak to where we last saw it, so we go for it, Sure enough, it was right their, laying flat, head on the ground and all, looked dead alright!! we were about 10 or so yards from it, thinking I would be funny, I tossed my arms up and yelled stop!!!! Its not dead!! I picked up a rock about the size of a baseball and nailed that deer with it, and the dang thing got up and took off!!! OMG the look on my freinds face was priceless!!!! And i almost messed my shorts!!! It didnt go far before falling over dead for good. This is the funny part, the dum part happend the year before.

I shot a small buck the last day of season, bout 200 yards with my 270, it was across a hay feild and right out of the tree line, I heard the thud, the deer went down, it got back up and stumbled into the tress and fell over, so me and my buddy get up and head over to it. walk right up to it, unload gun, set up on tree, take off pack and get ready to feild dress, I reach down, grab a hind leg and pull on it, I was talking to my freind and looking at him, while pulling, all the sudden his eyes light up and I feel a yank on my arm like never felt before, Took me right off my feet, I face planted righ into the ground, I didnt even know what was going on. That dang deer was not done yet. When i looked up, I saw the deer standing about 15 yards way looking at us, my buddy popped it in the neck, I just layed there for a few!!! My arm hurt for about 2 weeks. Lesson learned, In fact thats why i tossed a rock at my freinds deer the next year, no more walking up on alive animals for me!!! Really weird i think, never had it happen again, they have been dead everytime, but im ALWAYS cautious!!
 
My Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh Moment

This past August I was in S. Africa. We took lunch by a waterhole and this huge old warthog comes in across the pond from us. I shot him and he went down like a rock and never moved. Now, while hunting there I became really anal about making sure to save the brass as they reload everything due to cost and availability of ammo. So we watch this warthog about 5 mins and I carefully eject the case and put the brass away, reload, safety the rifle and we walk over to see the animal. We walk around the pond and get about 10 feet from the warthog and he starts spinning on the ground like he was trying to get up. The PH yells for me to shoot him again in the shoulder, shoot him again!! I get the safety off aim and CLICK!!!!

I worked that bolt harder and faster than I ever have before and get another round into the hog who immediately stops moving. I look over and the PH is laughing so hard he can't talk. Finally, he gets his breath and says, I think you broke my gun....... and is laughing again. He then tells me that wounded warthogs have been known to charge just like a wounded buffalo.....

I immediately got over worrying about empty cases until after the animal was definitely dead.:D:D
 
Too bad Dick Cheney doesn't participate in this thread. I wonder what his most embarrassing story would be? ;)

My most thrilling hunt was hunting for an airport to get fuel, but landing on a golf course. The rest of my worst hunting stories also have something to do with being lost or stranded.

One day, a buddy and I were sitting in one of those boat house duck blinds in North San Pablo Bay. As we watched over our spread of decoys, we recalled the story of a mutual friend and fellow firefighter that was stranded in this very blind overnight, because their boat came untied and drifted away. He and his buddy were ultimately located by a Coast Guard helicopter. We were bashing the guy a bit because we couldn't figure out how our fellow firefighter, somebody who is supposed to know knots for our profession, could have failed to tie up a boat correctly. We bagged a couple of ducks and decided to start picking up decoys before it started getting dark. One problem - our boat had come untied and drifted away. :o (With logic, scientific precision and a rational application of physics, we concluded that a ghost untied our boats in an effort to do us in.)
 
Man, some good stories here... Fairly new to hunting, so nothing but woods bathroom mishaps here. When I was in basic, though, on a qualifying range, I had a magazine that I had seen dropped the day before. I tried to get it replaced, but they wouldn't. Shot my first round from the M16, and as the bolt cycled, the fired round ejected, and 5-6 more rounds flew out as well, then a double feed as it came back forward. That is why I always use pmags now! Also got some respect from the drill sergeants for having known that something would be wrong with the mag, and for the display. ;-)
 
My biggest bonehead move almost cost me my life

I posted about it here after it happened and I tell everyone I can about it to prevent others from doing the same. I even started teaching Hunters Ed afterward.

Long story is at the link, but short story is that I fell out of a treestand while bowhunting and burst fractured my first lumbar vertebra. Had to be airlifted to UNC hospitals and undergo spinal fusion surgery from T11-L2 to repair the damage. 3 years later I'm mostly pain free but have limitations in range of motion due to the hardware.

WEAR A HARNESS!!
 
Teenage Bonehead Defense

I'm pheasant hunting on the outskirts of Cache Slough in the delta. Cache Slough hunting club released thousands of pheasants a year and pheasants are too stupid to know they are supposed to stay on the reservation. The hunting in the surrounding fields criss crossed with levees and dykes between cattle fields is some of the best pheasant hunting I've ever had.

But I digress from the story at hand...

I see a flooded area that has about 20 Canvassbacks and Pintails happilly swimming around in a foot and a half of water. I sneaked up to the edge of the water but was 10 yards or so farther than I wanted to be. I was using a Winchester full choke model 12 that had a phenomenal outside range, and had premium grade pheasant loads so I was good for duck. So I say what the heck, I'll wade in a foot of water for three of these fat ducks. I'm crouched down sneaking up on them and they are letting me get closer and closer, I'm figuring if they let me get close enough I'll get another shell chambered and get four ducks. I get 25 yards away which was 20 yards closer than I needed to be and I'm up to my knees in water so my trick pheasant hunting boots are full of water.

That's when I notice they are all decoys. I looked around to see if anyone had been watching me, because if they had they've been telling this story for almost four decades as one of the funnier things they've ever seen. When I hooked up with my dad and grandfather they of course had to know how I'd gotten so wet, I was really ticked off and spouted off about how I'd snuck up on a flock of decoys and they laughed the whole way home.

My grandfather pulled one liners the whole way home and kept us entertained.
 
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rantingredneck; Wow! Just WOW! I don't know how I missed your story when originally posted. That's a story I would not have forgotten!

I'm glad you not only survived, but that's a hell of an injury to deal with and recover from. As a paramedic, I can visualize the details of your well written narrative. I'm a little disappointed the medics surmised a non existent pneumothorax, and probably McSwain darted you in the second intercostal space, (ouch!), but I can appreciate the consideration of that given a symptom of worsening shortness of breath, along with some delay in transport.

Carrying out a big guy is straight from the book of nightmares for rescue personnel :) I can remember doing this at times when I was certain my back was worse than the guys we were carrying. At least you weren't a hundred feet down a cliff; I also worked on a coastal unit where the haul out involved some rope work and climbing. (Emphasis on the work part.) I couldn't do it now to save my own life. ;)

Excellent reminder about tree stand safety. I've been guilty of being sloppy on occasion, so I'm going to push your story to the front of my thoughts going forward, and share the lesson. Nothing makes a bigger, more lasting impression than a first hand account. Thank you for this!
 
I'm pheasant hunting on the outskirts of Cache Slough in the delta.
Click to expand...

It's fun to read about places I've been and hunted!!! Also, there used to be some sugar beet fields north of there back in the 60s, when I tromped behind a german shorthair while I was still too young to carry a gun.

It sounds like their decoys worked pretty well! :D

Cheers!
 
OK I will fess up. I like to pull pranks on folks, my cousin Tim is my prime candidate. We were going phesant hunting on a thursday, so I go up to our hunting area on wendsday and shoot my limit, I then removed the heads and necks of these roosters, I then went to a thicket we always had luck on and used a stick to place each head and neck in a perfect place.

Next day we are hunting, I made sure we hit a couple other places that didnt hold much game, then we hit the field with the heads :) ol Tim is moving around the thicket, he says roosters and gets ready to shoot, shotgun mounted etc. He waits


and waits



and waits


no flush but he can see em right there dang it!! :)

He then notices me laffing my rear end off.............
 
Ah Pranks...

Me thinks that's another topic entirely :D

They are flat my favorite thing, I was raised by a world class prankster, my grandfather. Those who knew him figure I had to have gotten it from him.

One of the funniest things I ever heard him tell about was verified by my grandmother, so it was the real deal, she even cracked a smile hearing it told.

The neighbor had an old horse that needed to be put down so he asked my grandfather to do it for him and he said he would.

Jim (my grandfather) asked his uncle if he wanted to go hunting in the neighbor's field so they did. Jim walks up to the horse, puts his gun to the horses head and shoots it stone cold dead. His uncle freaked out and screams out what the (XXXX) do you think you are doing you (XXXXX XXX) kid?

Jim is laughing so hard he can't even stand which is tipping his uncle off the deep end, Jim is saying, you should have seen the look on your face when I shot that horse.

His uncle darn near runs to the house, flies in and yells that idiot kid (still a kid to him even though he was married and in his 20's) shot the neighbors horse, call the sheriff. My grandma verified that he was asked to shoot it and this made him even madder. He literally never did get over being mad at Jim for shocking him as bad as he did. He didn't want to see his face again. My grandfather would end the story with a wistful, "Ernie never did get over it, did he Vesta?" and she'd say, "nope, he didn't".
 
I drove a conversion van down a fairly steep and rutted logging road. Damn near tipped the van over. To this day, I've no idea how I managed to get out of that predicament.
 
Just a couple short things that made me, or others, go "doh!"

My uncle forgot his slugs on opening day of deer season.

I forgot my boots one year and had to borrow a pair from my uncle (almost did it again this year)

I forgot my release during archery season this year, and had a 7-point come in and wind me before I had a shot (I was going to shoot finger-tip)
 
We were hunting a slogh, my cousin Tim drove to the end to block, I pushed a dozen or so pheasants right to him. He never fired a shot. I get to him and ask what the heck? He shows me the gun he brought :) a lever action .22 :) he didnt check the case, just grabbed it thinking his shotgun was in it :)

Ever buy a new gun (11-87) that has a new lock on the trigger, put it in the safe, 3 months later get it out and go hunting, forgetting the key? Yep cousin Tim again :) I love him dearly, he is some of the best entertainment I could possibly have. :) for free
 
We had been walking corn fields in northern IN bird hunting. We had seen nothing all morning. The rest of the group started walking another pass I said I'ld catch them on the return. I stopped, had a smoke, and then leaned my shotgun against a tree and p!$$ed right on a covy of quail. They flew up and after recovering from the shock, grabbed the shotgun and started shooting. Well, I missed everything, looked down and realized I had p!$$ed down my pant leg when I err,,,,:eek:,,,transferred guns. :D
 
Not the dumbest thing that I done, but someone else. We have several hundred acres where I hunt that is shared by me, my friend of 40 years, and a select few other friends. We have an old farm house on that has all the comforts of home. Alot of times I hunt off the front porch. To the left is a power line. I was on the porch before daylight and knew that 2 others were in the woods hunting also. Saw 3 deer just to the left of the power line but were does. Only deer that I saw that morning. Thank God! One of the guys that was hunting had set his wife up in a ground blind about 400 yards down the power line and never informed anyone. If a buck had crossed that power line I could have made him a widower that day.
 
took my new mav.88 out for some squirrel hunting last year
as many here can guess im very green on the hunting idea and just as new to fireams
so i had my 12ga trained on a unsuspecting red squirrel squeezed 1 off there was a cloud of dirt exactly where he was sitting but he took off up a tree so shot #2 knocks him off the tree he takes off again through the brush and disappears
so thinking i didnt know how to use my bead i take aim at a gateraid jug and tried to blow it away but still missed i put a handful of pellets through the top but that was it
the next day i take it to the range to see what the heck im doing wrong i start out from about 7 yards then about 15 then 20 and at about 20 i noticed that i was shooting funny again so i put up a fresh target and got a good look at my pattern and about peed myself laughing the pattern was very prominent at around 25 yards i was shooting a doughnut around my squirrel
my turkey head target had a perfect circle around the head with only a hand full of pellets actually hitting the center
i shoot atleast 5 out of every box before i hunt now
 
I was hog hunting in the Mts.came across a pretty white oak moutain side covered with bolders. Seen 5 or 6 hogs feeding on acorns I walked up to one of those big bolders to use as a prop the hogs were about 100yrds. away found the one I wanted about 90lb.boar.I was about 1.5 miles from the truck so everything was lookin good until I shot.I never seen the bigger hog 40 yards away until it was to late.ON the report of the rifle the next thing I seen was leaves & dirt flying up like a leaf blower.He ran between me & that boulder I was proped on hit me in the thigh takin both my legs out from under me.I landed on his back & rolled off in a panic I shot him twice where the sun dont shine from the ground not knowing he had dislocated my hip.It took me over 3 hours to get to the truck another hour to the hospital.Talk about feeling like a bone head. NO MORE huntin hogs by myself.
 
In the mid 70's 20 miles west of Lovelock, Nv. (O.J.'s new home) some Chukar partridge crossed the road. I pulled over, grabbed the gun case, took out the 870, put on my bird vest, let my Shorthair, Moose, out of the car and made him heel.

Keeping my eye on the place where the birds went into the sage, I'm walking slowly and grabbing shells to load up. I keep fumbling while I'm watching ahead, not wanting to turn the dog loose just yet, and I realized something was wrong. I'd been trying to put 12 ga. shells into a .20 ga. Both guns had the same type case and I'd grabbed the wrong one for a weekend hunting trip.:(

Those birds in the sage got away, but I had a good trip because of the spare Beretta OU 20ga. I ALWAYS had along as a spare.

I could tell you about the time I took off running after a jackrabbit, when I was a kid, and hit a barbed wire fence at full speed. But I don't want to talk about that.:D
 
Well one year me and my dad went to go out hunting deer on the last day of the deer season. His friend who was the property owner happened to see us and asked us what we were doing, we told him it's november 31st, we r going hunting, and asked him why he wasn't going. We both felt really dumb when he told us there is only 30 days in november.

Another time My uncle took he out hunting on his property for late doe season. He explained to me where to sit and he went off to his own stand. As soon a I got to where he told me to sit my sling falls of my shotgun, I forgot to shut the clasp. The shotgun falls barrel first right into the snow. The barrel was packed full and I had no way to get the snow out, so I just sat there waiting for my uncle to get done because I didn't want to interrupt his hunting. About an hour later I see deer coming through the woods, I counted 20 does, all good size. They got about 20 yards from me when my uncle comes across the 2- way radio and says " John, are you gonna sit there and look stupid or shoot?" All I heard was him laughing when I told him what happened.
 
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