Novice needing caliber advice..

It is much better to carry something you like, because you will practice with it more.

If you liked the PX4 storm in 45acp, get one (maybe even used) or look at other similar firearms in 45acp.

Our oldest daughter is like you, she doesn't like my 38 colt and she doesn't like her husbands 1911 (in 45acp), she likes her HK45 (and her AR).

Purchase what you what to shoot, what feels good to you. BTW: 45 colt (also called 45 Long colt) shoots softly too, but that would be in a revolver, not an automatic.
 
I really think you'd do well with some sort of 9mm. Ammo is reasonable, kick is hardly worth mentioning, available anywhere. Plenty good for self defense too if that's a concern.
 
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