My advice is to consider features first, then find a pistol that fits your needs.
Perhaps the first feature to consider is caliber. While .22LR makes it very easy to learn to shoot well, I would not recommend it for your first pistol, simply because you state that you want your first pistol to be for home defense and .22LR is not a great choice for that. 9 mm is a fine choice, being the least expensive of the major calibers and the equivalent or near-equivalent in stopping ability to the other larger, more expensive, and sometimes more difficult to shoot calibers.
Consider the positive and negative features of different trigger systems, and the presence or absence of a thumb safety, and other features that matter to you. Handle the pistols that have the features that you decide on and see what feels good in your hand. Then, if at all possible, shoot the last two or three finalists and see if they still feel good.
I can tell you what my daughter, similar in size to you, picked (Beretta PX4 Compact 9 mm) but that was her choice. If you want a double action trigger that transitions to single action after the first choice, and you want a thumb safety, it is worth considering. You are allowed to have different needs and wants, though, and those are what you need to consider as you make YOUR choice.
Corneredcat.com - bookmark it.
My final bit of advice is to read the well-meaning recommendations you will get here to find WHY a particular choice was made rather than WHAT was chosen. Understanding the reasoning behind choices will help you make your own decision. Every pistol has had someone who thought it was what they needed or they wouldn't have bought it; your job is to find what fits you.
