My girlfriend is anti gun!!?!?!?!?!?

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What was happening in her country never would have happened if citizens were armed.
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The average citizen of Iraq owns at least one firearm, usually an AK-47. Kidnapping is also very common in Iraq.

The degree to which citizens are armed has little to do with the rate of crime.

As far as the OP is concerned, a firearm forum is a poor place to get relationship advice.
 
As far as the OP is concerned, a firearm forum is a poor place to get relationship advice.
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sorry buzzcook, my guns and my GF are tow major facets of my life. I was just hoping for sometime advice on the guns part.

thanks folks I appreciate the feedback
 
I believe there is a chance she will come alone. For the fact that she knew for 2 years that it was important to you and never brought it up means she is concern about your feelings.

When I met my wife several years ago I knew she was anti-gun so I never brought out the possibility of acquiring one. But two months after we got married, I told her I was thinking about getting a firearm for home protection. During our dating phase, we will read articles about gun related violence on innocent people. We would also read the crime report about our area.

I also knew she was a very reasonable person and her anti-gun nature was a result of her upbringing and lack of knowledge about firearms. You should know her well enough to find ways and ease her fears. I asked my wife these series of questions

1. What if we hear somebody breaking in our house at night?
Possible answer, call the cops. I showed her the response rate of cops to crime scene. I told her that I have no doubt the cops will show up, but it will be after we have been victimize. If we survive, we will file a report if not then we have ourselves to be blamed.

2. I asked her how much she valued her life and whether it was worth protecting? Whose responsibility was it? Should I outsource her safety to the police department?

I told her that I value our lives so much that I'm willing to make it the outmost priority. She looked at me and said, I'm still nervous but I trust your decisions. We went and purchase our first firearm together within a month after our discussion. We went to range and she was surprise how well she did. Now we have 4 within three years and she loves her Sally (Gen 4 Glock 19):D:D.

Don't lose hope she will come along. But your approach will make the difference.
Sometimes in relationship you have to use the act of persuasion in order for the other person to buy into your ideas or decisions. Good luck.
 
Buzzcook said:
The degree to which citizens are armed has little to do with the rate of crime.
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I would have to disagree with you there and research shows that more firearms in the hands of law abiding citizens means less crime.
 
pre marriage counseling? i only know one thing after being married for 25 years that is if you don't have common ground you may stay married for ever but you will be miserable. please figure this out the last thing you want is to look back after 20 years and say why?
I'm old now and as i look back there are lots i wish i had done different!
 
Ruthless said:
sorry buzzcook, my guns and my GF are tow major facets of my life. I was just hoping for sometime advice on the guns part.
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Well, you've gotten advice. I doubt it's what you wanted to hear.

There is no question of my wife ever participating in my shooting hobby. I'm quite certain that if I had not already been much involved in the hobby she would have done her best to dissuade me. As it is, the guns were here before she arrived, and (although we have never discussed it) I'm sure she knows that if she were to be foolish enough to deliver an ultimatum, my choice would be to buy her a plane ticket back to where she came from.

So you have to decide: Your GF is not going to become a shooting buddy. If that's what you want in a relationship, get out of this one now, before it goes any farther. If you can enjoy shooting on your own or with friends other than your significant other, and she'll tolerate that without getting in your face later on, then maybe you can salvage some sort of relationship.
 
I would have to disagree with you there and research shows that more firearms in the hands of law abiding citizens means less crime.
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Well Fullboar: How do you explain Iraq?
I'm also not convinced by any research I've read, especially by Lott, that an increase in gun ownership reduces crime.

I would say that there is a greater correlation between an increase in civil society with a reduction in crime. But you'll never hear that argument on TV because the powers that be would rather have people argue about guns than pursue ideas that might address violent crime.
 
slow and easy my friend....

women & men are different, and you + your girlfriend probably come from different walks of life(at least to some extent).

Maybe ask her why in a nice way...it is possible(and easily not definite) that something happened in her past andor family which has lead her to these beliefs.
 
If that's what you want in a relationship, get out of this one now, before it goes any farther.
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I have to tip my hat when someone is spot-on, 100% correct. Many many people have wished they had taken this advice, but very often the advice is heard but sortof swept under the rug.

Communicate and respect your girlfriend plus speak your feelings, but don't sweept this issue under the rug unless you truly are ok with it. You might 'just go with' it and find months, years, etc, consistently down the road this is becoming an issue in your relationship/marriage. You both deserve to be happy, respected and understood
 
My wife does not really like guns either. She does not own one, does not want to own one, won't get a concealed carry permit, and thought I was half crazy when I got my first one. However, since I have been carrying for awhile now, her position has changed. She actually LIKES the fact that I carry, says it makes her feel safe. I respect her opinion and views. I try sometimes to point out things to her, to get her to reconsider carrying a gun herself as I always can't be with her. Perhaps in time she'll come around more. At least it's a start, though. Guns aren't for everybody, and I respect that.
 
Advise? Wisemen don't need it. Fools won't heed it. If your girlfriend hid something from you for two years, who knows what else may in there. She's a hot potato.
 
Don't dismiss this as a simple clash of views on a particular topic. She intentionally hid this from you for 2 years, and that's not a good sign at all
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John brought up an important point with that... it sounds like the relationship is built on something less than honesty and trust. If that's the case, it's doomed in the long haul, anyway.
 
I am suspicious of the fact that your GF PURPOSELY kept this information from you in an effort to "keep you". Evidently she now feels comfortable enough that she has you committed to come out with this piece of very important info. You are fortunate to have the cards revealed prior to any further committment including marriage which you'll be stuck even more financially and emotionally should that go south.

My question would be what else has she kept from you? Does she work, can she support herself, or is she relying on you for financial support?
 
"...girlfriend ... is against guns. ...she says her son (who will probably be my step son some day) will never touch guns...."
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First: That she is "against guns" is not a deal-breaker, unless she decides to make your own life miserable about it. Then it necessarily (and regrettably) has to sayonara. In the end this is about values (not "guns"), and you & she will be constantly at war over any number of issues that come down to the hub of self-reliance/responsibility. Wish I didn't have to tell you that.

Second: Your idea of somehow getting her out to the range w/ a .22 is sound... even if it takes a long time. She doesn't have to be a gun fan after that, and instead be agnostioc/uncaring thereafter. Just not antagonistic. That is slow acid on any relationship.

Third: Her son will "touch guns" whether she likes it or not. His peer group will be a much larger influence on his life than she will ever be after about age 8. His having learned about weapons from you -- what they can do/how they should be viewed & handled -- will arm him in resisting the trash thought that inevitably will come to him from the movies, videogames and his "friends."

A blank mind is the Devil's workshop. Forewarned (and fore-trained) is his best armor.
 
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