My girlfriend is anti gun!!?!?!?!?!?

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Ruthless4christ

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I can’t believe I overlooked this. I just found out my girlfriend of almost 2 years is against guns. Apparently she did not bring it up because she knew it was important to me.

She is from a country where there has been major violence in the populace and feels they are wrong. My first impulse was to get her to a range so I could get her broke in but she is not having it.
On top of this she says her son (who will probably be me step son some day) will never touch guns.

Thoughts? Tactics?
 
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Don't press it, simply ask her if she would. If she says no, leave it at that, she obviously cares about you enough to be able to look past her own beliefs. So long as you don't pressure her, then perhaps she'll come around.

Is there an appleseed shoot near where you are? If there is, take her to one so that she can learn the basics from trained professionals.

If that isn't an option, I'd say start off with a simple .22lr handgun or perhaps a rifle. Don't give her a hand cannon, show her that there are many good folks out there that are responsible with firearms, that is if she is willing to be so open minded.

Good luck, I wish you the best in your endeavors.
 
She does not have to like guns. So what? As long as she will not prohibit your owning them or your are willing to give them up then no problem. If I found the perfect woman to marry I would compromise anything but the singe most important issue, and I'm sure you get that. I think it goes God, family and whatever.
 
You're focusing on a tree and forgetting the forest.

The real question is: "What else is important to you that she's not bringing up?"

Don't dismiss this as a simple clash of views on a particular topic. She intentionally hid this from you for 2 years, and that's not a good sign at all.
 
Are you sure this girl is right for you? she seems to like you if she also overlooked this. I personally seek companionship with like minded females for the most part, I guess I could overlook it as well, as long as I didn't get my chops busted over it very often.

My GF is also from another country, a communist country where essentially only approved communists have guns, or can run for office, and many other things to be sure, I guess that's why they fled.
 
Ruthless said:
Thoughts? Tactics?
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Find a new girlfriend.

Seriously. My wife and I will have been married for nine years in a couple of weeks. We were both married before and she has adult kids (and grandkids), so we are adults. She knew I was into shooting before we got married. She periodically mentions that she doesn't like guns, but she hasn't objected to my continuing my hobby (and it occasionally brings in a couple of much-appreciated bucks if I get an article published).

So today she saw the news about the school shooting in Connecticut, and IMMEDIATELY started in about how guns are evil, guns cause this type of incident, the Constitution is obsolete and needs to be replaced, etcetera, etcetera. I understand that Winter is arriving, but even so, it has been downright chilly around my house this evening.

I do not think you can reason with women who hate guns.

JohnKSa said:
Don't dismiss this as a simple clash of views on a particular topic. She intentionally hid this from you for 2 years, and that's not a good sign at all.
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This is VERY true. Not a good sign at all.

I don't know why you choose not to reveal what country she's from, but that's your choice. Just understand that the less you tell us, the more general our advice has to be.

Your signature mentions Guatemala, so I'll take a wild guess and surmise that your significant other is probably not from the Middle east or Africa. FWIW, my wife is from South America. The men in her country love guns, the women hate them. My wife married me, a gringo, specifically because she decided the men from South America are too macho and too chauvinistic. Just face it -- the likelihood that you might get her to change her mind is infinitesimally small. How masochistic are you, and how much energy are you willing to expend on a probably hopeless quest?

And then, there's the moral question of what right do you have to try to change her mind? How much would you like it (or not like it) if she were to start working on you to believe that guns are evil?
 
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Girlfriend is from south America, I don’t mention the exact location because I just don’t like opening up that much online, (guess im paranoid)
She has no issue with my owning guns she is just dead set against them. This is an issue for me since gun ownership is so important for me. I have no idea how this slipped under the radar.
 
If she does not care if you own firearms, then what is the issue? I'm confused, does she have to be a clone of your likes and dislikes? Does she like MMA, beer, girls, fast cars, welding? Do you like everything she likes?
 
IDK why it’s a big deal. It’s a pretty big part of my life, and I guess I always assumed my partner would partake in that. All previous GF’s have been gun lovers. Maybe I am over reacting.
 
I have no idea how this slipped under the radar.
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It didn't "slip under the radar", as you stated in your first post, "she didn't bring it up". She hid it from you.

The point of being girlfriend and boyfriend for awhile before getting married is so you can find out if you are compatible. Part of that process is comparing views so you can see how they mesh. In some areas you may be willing to compromise, in others, obviously you will not. Either way, if topics are intentionally avoided, the point of this period in your relationship is lost.

As far as I can see, there are no "tactics" that are going to work for you now. If she's hidden it this long, it's certainly not because she's willing to compromise on the issue. If compromise were an option for her, she would have broached the topic early and let the negotiations run their course. You don't hide the stuff you're willing to bend on, you hide stuff that you can't or won't fix.

Besides, because she's hidden it this long, I don't see how you could have any confidence that even if she were to suddenly cave on the issue that it's not a secondary strategy to again put the issue off, this time until it's too late.

I'll throw this one last thing out there. Don't count on things getting better after you're married. One acquaintance of mine got married and continued to enjoy his shooting hobby right up until his wife got pregnant. I guess that was the point that she figured it was too late for him to object too much. At that point she put her foot down and made him get rid of all his guns.
 
My wife and I used to be anti gun as well. I got held up at gunpoint for the 3rd time and I decided that was the final straw. I decided to get a gun and my CCW permit. My wife was not happy about it. I did a lot of research on the matter and presented a good case to her as to why I felt a gun was the only solution.

She eventually saw reason and now asks on occasion if I have my gun on me when we go out. She should know that my gun is always on me.:rolleyes:

Good luck and hopefully your girlfriend will see that guns are not evil, only evil people are.
 
I did not read all the posts but I did read most.

My current girlfriend of over 2 years is not a gun fan (although not anti gun, she supports the 2nd amendment)... She has no issues with me having them and in some ways it is my responsibility to do everything I can to help protect my future family. But she says, "but I have never needed one". And she hates loud noises.

I did bring her to the range for the first time a few weeks ago and she did pretty good but still not a gun fan. To noisy and felt the positions were awkward.

My one real rule for my future spouse is that she has to have her own firearm and know how to use it whether she enjoys it or not. If you have one and dont need it you are blessed, but if you need it and dont have it, it could be a different story.

Guns are a big part of my pass time and hence my life, but for me the primary goal is protection. I enjoy it and it would be nice if someday she would join me not because she had to do a refresher but you never know (I am not the greatest Jane Austin fan and frankly dont plan on being one...).

Long as I have my few handguns for self defense I am fairly content.
 
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First of all I must say I am a lucky man having a gal that loves guns almost as much as I do (If you asked her she would say she loves them more then me) and I was the one that introduced her to shooting at age 40 and her Dad is a cop.

Ever since she started shooting she now gets mad at me for going to the range without her so I make a point of making sure she gets to go.

I have a few friends that have girlfriends and wives that either don't care for guns or down right dislike them as much as any Anti out there. I have seen some of those friends have to give up guns/shooting because of the friction it causes in the relationship.

The way I see and look at it is if your partner does not like something so much that you truly do there may be many things you don't have in common and it would be difficult at best to make the relationship last.

If your partner ask you to stop doing something you love aside from drinking or drugs because they disagree with it it's time to move on. Typically this won't be the last thing they will ask you to stop doing.
 
My wife is from a country that has experienced a lot of violence and has very strict gun control laws. A month ago my father in laws best friend was kidnapped. I never heard about his return, so I assume he never made it back and at this point probably never will. Consider that that wasn't newsworthy enough that I would know for sure. Before we moved back to the US she told me the first thing she was buying was "a 45." What was happening in her country never would have happened if citizens were armed.
 
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