WHO'S THERE?
You're concerned about pointing a loaded weapon equipped with a light at a family member? This is the beginning of the threat identification process and it establishes your presence.
I HAVE A GUN!
It communicates to potential "friendlies" that you're in alarm mode and you aren't playing around. The bad guy has just been informed you have deadly force capability to resist.
I'VE CALLED POLICE!
Communicates to intruder that the risk of being caught increases if he/she doesn't leave immediately.
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!
Commands intruder to leave to avoid confrontation.
Verbal challenges are best issued from a position of advantage. The bad guy has to approach your general position to make contact. He is less efficient in detecting you than vice versa. He has a large area to monitor - you only have to monitor the avenue of approach.
When I was in patrol my verbal command SOP for making contact with people during a patrol check:
SIR/MA'AM - STOP!
SHOW ME YOUR HANDS!
STAY WHERE YOU ARE!
DON'T MOVE!
The BG has stopped listening to you at the second sentence. You'll only have a couple of seconds of his attention before he's thinking what to do next.
FREEZE!
or
STOP OR I'LL SHOOT!
Short and to the point. That's what out CWP instructor told us.
I agree. Keep commands short and to the point. However it's easy to presumptively think that the bad guy is in his right mind. What if he turns around and leaves? You gonna shoot him in the back because he disobeyed your command to Freeze or Stop? It's an inappropriate command if you don't have visual contact. If the noise is at the far side of the house how many times are you going to repeat it? (I really mean it this time!) What if there's more than one intruder - which is likely if they're merely there to burglarize your home? The best course of action, both safety and legally, is to simply compel the bad guy to leave.
As far as splashing the light off the walls etc... If someone is in my house I want the light in their eyes.
I reiterate:
You *should* almost never find yourself in a situation where you have to illuminate a threat to ID it. A simple verbal challenge, in a command voice, will do the job for you, unless you have a sleep walker or a deaf family member/visitor. If the verbal challenge is ignored then the threat now becomes a target and I don't need light to identify it.
Blinding light? That's a myth. I've had "blinding light" (Surefire 6 and 9 volt) shined directly in my eyes during no-light training. The first time I performed the exercise I drew and put two bullets in one hole in the left eye of a realistic, life-size paper target. I was chastized by my instructor for not allowing a couple of seconds for my eyes to recover. I didn't know my performance until I asked one of my co-students why everybody gasped when I shot - it appears they were surprised at my performance, as was I once I found out.
Cheers!