Lawyers

Flashman,
Why are most polticians lawyers? Simple, an honest person won't take the job. And, if an honest person does get elected, the system is such that before long they are just as crooked as the others. You just can't get anything accomplished if you're honest. Its the political system thats the real problem. It has degraded to the point that you have to give in order to get. So in order to get a good law passed, you have to do other politcians the favor of voting for whatever garbage they are currently pushing. Before long, everybody owes everybody and nothing good gets done. Frustrated by the system, the "honest" polticians decides "the hell with this, I'll just go for what I can get for me!" So, you see, its just easier to elect lawyers in the first place. Since they're already crooked you can save alot of time by cutting out all the middle stuff.

Enough of this! Lets have some more jokes. :)
 
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.

What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.
 
Just a commentary: I know some non-practicing lawyers who've expressed disgust at their profession and their pursuit of happiness has led them to more rewarding careers.
 
A kid is in school and it is show and tell time. The teacher asks, "Timmy, what do your parents do?" "Mommy is a nurce. Daddy plays piano in a whore house." "What! Your daddy plays a piano where?" "At a whore house, Miss. Smith" Later that day the telephone rings at Timmy's house and it is Miss. Smith. "Timmy said today in school that you play piano in a whore house! That's terrible, how could you do something like that?" "Well, really I'm a lawyer but you can't tell a 6 year old that."
 
What happens when you give a lawyer viarga?
He gets taller.

BTW, FWIW, most of the lawyer jokes I've heard came from lawyers. Beyond my obvious poor choice of company, what does this mean?

M2
 
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks
his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong
place."
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty
soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell,
and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've
got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer
is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer,
"So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning
and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer
is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake --
he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and
I'm keeping him."

God replies "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where
are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
 
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