chaplain tom said:
No offense taken, but I think you may have taken my comments out of context or maybe just misunderstood me.
You didn't say that your wife was acting macho, but I got that from what you said she said: "My wife actually told me to shut up and let her shoot the damn things." I generally interpret such a response from a beginner to safety-related warnings as macho--whether the person is male or female makes no difference to me. Other things you said about her probably would have been interpreted by some people as macho if she were male, and as tough because she is female, but like I said gender makes no difference to me. In fact, a bunch of people in this thread seem to automatically assume that all males are macho, even if they don't act all tough.
Now, if I totally misinterpreted what you were saying in this context, and got the wrong impression, then I guess none of what I said earlier applies to your wife (obviously you know her a lot better than I do). What you said just reminded me of my sister, who often is more macho than I am. I'm a guy, but I'm neither embarrassed nor ashamed to admit that I still have some real fear of guns, and I think it helps me be as safe as I can be. Most would call this type of fear "respect" and I can understand the reason for doing that, but respect means nothing without the genuine fear of getting hurt or killed backing it up. My sister apparently has no such fear, and thinks I'm overreacting every time I yell at her for sweeping me with the muzzle (by accident, but it's still careless), just because her finger is off the trigger.
To me, that's a macho attitude.
chaplain tom said:
All I was saying is that some if not most women ARE tougher than we give them credit for.
Some women are, and some aren't. Some guys are macho, and some aren't. Some women are macho, too--just like guys acting tougher than perhaps they are or lacking the proper "respect" for tools that can maim or kill when mishandled. The percentages are going to be different between the genders, and I understand the point that is being made, and agree with it, but when it comes to individuals I try to ignore things like gender or race, for example, as best I can because they only tell us the probabilities, not the facts about the individual.
chaplain tom said:
My wife basically told me that she was not afraid of the guns and that she would like to make up her own mind about which one she wanted to shoot. She was not getting "macho" with me at all. She said that while she appreciated my warnings about a particular gun's power, recoil, and noise she didn't want me to say too much because she wanted to find out for herself and make up her own mind.
That's a lot clearer to me than what you said earlier. It's not your fault, though--I think that you expected your statements to be interpreted in a certain light, but I guess I shut that particular light off in my own head.
chaplain tom said:
I agree that sometimes this does not work out this way. My father taught me how to shoot, but he had no success with my brother. He was too close and went about it all wrong with him. He pushed him too hard and teased him about things better left alone. Sometimes the ones closest to us are the wrong ones to try to teach us. Not the case with my wife and I.
It's good that you both can be so up-front with each other in such matters, because what I described in my previous post is all too common between those who are close, as you also just said. It's not that certain individuals are necessarily macho in general, but I guess they can't stand the idea of learning from somebody whom they perceive as their equal--and want to be perceived by as their equal.
Please accept my apology for misinterpreting what you said regarding your wife...although I do think that you were trying to make your wife seem tough in how you said it, which to me looks macho.
I'm sure that everybody else knew exactly what you meant, but I see things differently than most.
