35 yards is not a distance that is rare in gunfights
Self defense isn't really the same as a gunfight though.
Far and away the most common reason to defend yourself is to prevent robbery, and how often do people get robbed from the other side of a parking lot?
If someone was shooting at me from that range, my first instinct would probably to zigzag myself to cover.
It's not impossible that you'd have to take a long shot in a defensive situation, but - statistically speaking - I'd be more worried about being struck by lightning.
would one let someone shoot at their wife and kids from that distance[?]
Um.... no.
But - aside from setting up a provocative straw man - what does that have to do with anything?
There are lot of extremely improbable tragedies I wouldn't want to happen. But I don't spend my time worrying about them.
Now, I'm not saying one shouldn't practice shooting at extended ranges (one they're proficient at shorter ones). I think it's great practice - both fulfilling and fun.
But at that point it's moved beyond "proficiency". And I'm willing to admit that most of the shooting I do has little to do with a realistic defensive need.
I'd imagine on this board many of us shoot far better than we're ever likely to "need" to.
Many of us also probably lift more weight, or can run further than we're ever likely to "need" to.
The question wasn't "how far away should a pistol enthusiast be able to make shots after years of practice".
It was "what distance is best to improve accuracy". For someone who just got their first revolver.
And I maintain that 7-10 yards is a good place to start.