For pistol reloading, I am a fan of the Lyman reloading manuals. I normally shoot plated bullets and never go near max loads. With the 9mm, I had to search for a load that would shoot well and cycle the action, even with limp wristers occasionally shooting it. Some cast bullet load suggestions would not work, being too light, so I had to ramp up the load a bit. Took some work, but I got the good loads finally. As for the 38/357 and plated bullets, I worked up some warm loads that don’t lead the barrel.
It just takes time, patience, and a good reloading manual. Buy a Lyman for their cast bullet load info.
I quit shooting pure cast bullets when I switched to plated.