SiG 230 in 380, Terry Primos Dress Tactical with a 4" handforged, double edged blade and a pen to fill out the required paperwork when they come to pick up the bodies.
My bedside artillery is the 45ACP Ruger KP-90, wife's side is "snubby" 38. That gives us enough time to fade back to the strong room, pick up the Mossberg 12Ga pump, and the M-1 Garand. Anyone opening the strong room door without proper password is in for a very bad day.