If you are a CHLer, how do you keep someone from finding out......

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Doug.38PR

Moderator
Okay, here is a common situation that I find. At church this really isn't an issue since I don't carry at church, but people my age that are there for instance will walk up to me, kidding me about wearing a suit or sportcoat and tie (I'm 28). They will walk up and knock on the side of my hip at 4 o'clock postion and say "hey you must be FBI or something." Ho ho and Ha ha, no big deal. Ahem...however, what do you do when people do that outside of church when you ARE carrying (I commonly wear a sport coat to conceal). Sportcoat or not I am either carrying my .38 4 inch on my hip or my .32 mag snub in my pocket. People every now and then will kid and joke about searching me or something for whatever reason. They don't know I have a gun....but how do you avoid these situations when it takes you to the brink of them finding out you have one.....

....And, if they do find out. Like if someone walks up and pats you down from behind laughing and suddenly stops laughing when they hit a "CLUMP" when their hand hits my pocket or discovers a gun under my coat, what do you do?!!!!

I came VERY close to facing this situation today when in someones office building with my .32 in my pocket. (It wasn't about anything serious at all. The gun wasn't showing and the comments and humor had nothing to do with a gun but something else, but it was humorously suggested that I be searched before I left. I half expected someone to jump up fooling around and start pating down my sides. :eek: Someone even noted that my face turned red when it was said that I needed to be searched. Another person pointed out that "i must be walking out of here with something because I shifted all my weight to one leg standing to my side. The person didn't know it was because I had a gun. My face apparently then turned red as someone noted. yikes.)

I ask myself this question today after leaving that office. What do you do?First thing would be to appreciate the humor they approached me with and laugh with them even after they found the gun to put them at ease and know that I am still me and we are all still friends here.
Second would be to calmly pull my wallet and produce my license and tell them it's okay, I'm legal.
BUT I WOULD MUCH RATHER NOT GET TO THAT POINT AND AVOID IT. As I put it to my CHL instructor. I need to guard the gun like Clark Kent keeping his secret identity.

BUT, what if that is not enough for them or if someone should call the police or if just a policeman should happen to be standing in the midst of this, do I get in trouble? I mean, I WOULDN"T HAVE REVEALED MY GUN the person kidding around would have.
 
In my social circle it is considered bad form to put your hands on other people, even in jest.

As you have obviously been allowing this type of behavior for some time, I would recommend slowly weening your friends of it by providing non-verbal cues. Remember, in their eyes they are doing nothing wrong. Avoid antics that lead to the "friendly pat down" and give them a stern look when they put their hands on you uninvited.

After a few monthes it will either stop or you will have to become more proactive.
 
Sounds like you must ask yourself WHY they want to frisk and touch you. Are you studly? ;) The fbi comments make it sound like they figure you have a gun with you, even if they don't know for sure. Do they know you are a "fan" of guns and might they conclude that there MAY BE a gun on your hip.
 
Sounds like you must ask yourself WHY they want to frisk and touch you. Are you studly? The fbi comments make it sound like they figure you have a gun with you, even if they don't know for sure. Do they know you are a "fan" of guns and might they conclude that there MAY BE a gun on your hip.
Click to expand...

Well, the only people who know I have a gun are people that I REALLY know. Most everybody that I am pretty well aquanted with in my church social area that I am a I am a fan of guns because I have about 3 or 4 guys that I go to the indoor range with after church just about every other Sunday. We talk about guns over lunch and standing around before Sunday School class starts frequently. We go to gunshows all the time and to collectors firearms (you probably know about that since IC you are in Woodlands) all the time But as I said, in church it is a non issue since you can't carry there anyway without permission...and even if I had permission I probably still wouldn't on Sunday. But people who know I have one have better sense than to frisk me because they know why it's not a good idea to draw attention to it.

People who would frisk me are people that I may be friendly with but don't know all that well and they don't know me all that well. Hence they wouldn't know I had a gun and wouldn't know that they shouldn't be kidding around that way. The short answer to that part of your question is no they really would have no reason to suspect my having a gun, they are just trying to be humerous.

The FBI comments have more to do with my wearing a suit or sport coat and tie. Most people 60 and below don't commonly dress up anymore. I get comments about it all the time from people in my age, such as the FBI comment.
 
I find it very weird someone would put their hands all over you like that. Very weird.

But anyway, just let them find your piece. That'll stop the 'friendliness'. :eek: :rolleyes:
 
This reminds me of an incident that happened to me not too long ago. I was at my best friend's house and another good friend said something appparently about me carrying to the other one. And before I knew it I had a quick frisk and his hand landed right on my gun. He just grined and shook his head. It was a church get together with lots of little kids running around. Guess they figured i wouldn't be carrying since kids were around. They were wrong. My two best friends, (these guys) know I carry, but I would have a prob with someone I barely know putting their hands on me in an effort to search for a gun. If in your situation I'd probably say, "I don't think we need to be getting so friendly in here." I'd use a tone of voice to suggest you're saying this like you're playing around as not to offend or call anymore attention to the subject.
 
well, no they wouldn't "put their hands all over me like that." It's nothing that's terribly inappropriate or rude. It would go something like this, a person walks up suddenly and says, "okay buddy you got somethin' on ya!" thump their hand on my hip ribcage and maybe the side of my pocket and laugh. Or maybe walk up and open the flap of my coat pretending to check for stolen merchandise or for a concealed weapon. It's more like someone walking up and patting you on the back or shoulder. Something quick and familiar but not inappropriate or rude.
The kind of people that I am talking about are not perfect strangers, they would be people you see every day and interact with pretty regularly but they aren't close friends that know I carry a gun.
 
Doug - sounds somewhat familiar - I have a big family - brother-in-laws on my side, huggy (and cute! :)) sister-in-laws on my wife's side, cousins, close family friends etc. I try to avoid the otherwise normal hugging greetings/goodbyes when carrying, (just last night arriving and leaving for dinner at Ground Round for instance) but eventually those close enough to you will realize you are carrying - and (probably) get used to the idea so it will not be an issue. My B-I-L used to give the quick right hip check to bust balls, and he was usually not dissapointed - I was armed all the time. I used to be a cop, and one ofd my wife's b-i-l is still on the job, so my circle may be more accepting, but sounds like your group will handle it OK too.
Days of summer are here and it is harder to conceal with normal 't-shirt' wear, so the vest I use can be a bit hard to explain - but I am not...ashamed to carry, so if they want to know for sure, all they have to do is ask.
 
No gay bash intended!!!-Jokingly say"Well,maybe you're allowed to touch other men at your gay bar,but I don't swing that direction".Say it medium-loud with a big grin,they'll be embarassed enough to not try again.If you're gay,tell them,"I'm taken,but I'll keep you in mind".Say it loud enough that others MIGHT look,but not so loud that everybody within 50 ft does the double take stare...
 
I try to use the "arms low" method, when some one tries to hug me or otherwise put their hand near my waist. Once, an attractive female employee of mine insisted she was going to put her arms around my waist to hug me. I slipped my strong arm under hers, the other over her shoulder and bent her over sideways, looking down into her eyes and said "Is this the right way?" Then I stood her back up, took a quarter-step back and pretended to dust her off. She never hugged me again, but it didn't affect our friendship.

Pops
 
The answer is simple... buy a syringe and carry it in your pocket. Whenever you see somebody who has a habbit of feeling you up or patting you down or what not, just pull the syringe out and ask them if they know of a local needle exchange program because your "works" are getting pretty dirty.
 
Doug,
You make a good argument for SmartCarry.
If you don't want to change your mode of carry, I suggest you turn your gunside away from the offender, ball up your fist, draw back and say "Get your damned hands off of me". Say it loud enough for others to hear, and firmly enough that nobody else decides to try.
 
I'm not ashamed to carry a firearm - I wonder if you're overestimating the paranoia of other people and their reactions if they found out that you're ready to defend yourself with an effective tool. I carry a Swiss Army knife too, most of the time, and I don't worry too much about people finding out about that either.
 
I used to have people ask "whats in the fanny pack" even when I didn't carry. When I did put a gun in a fanny pack, nobody paid attention. Pre and Post carry, I just gave them a simple "oh yeah, ha ha ha" and never answered. Some would grab the pack as if to feel the weight, and I would just turn away.

You may have to show/do something to let 'them' know that your personal space is being invaded. Maybe with a slightly disgusted look say "C'mon, do your need to do that EVERY time I see you?" or "that joke is getting pretty old, don't you think?" Then you can work on widening your space a little.
Ron
 
It does happen and I think there is no one way to handle it. I would say first you need to become more comfortable with carrying. Understand you do not really owe a explaination as to your decision to carry. It was your decision same as it was their decision not too. So do not be embarrassed by it.

Try increasing your comfort zone. Keep more space between you and other people they will pick up on it. You can always stop using mouthwash and deodorant... :D

I have been caught a few times myself. It can come at the most impossible times and quite unexpected. From the most unexpected people. I do have one of those personalities and looks the keep most people at bay. While I am friendly I do tend to keep most people outside my comfort zone. There is no real good answer here, just do what works for you.
 
next time someone "feels you up".. just say to them "Oh, you heard about my pocket rocket, eh? " and give them a wink ;-)
 
I don't know about this but then again I'm not a touchy feelie type of guy. I can't stand it when people get into my personal space, especially if they try to touch me.

If I wanted to be touched, I'd ask to be touched.

I would just tell the folks to back off, respect my personal space. Try it nicely at first and if they keep on then be more forceful.

The only people that I've allowed to touch me knew that I carried, heck, they did also so it was a moot point but lead to interesting conversations of "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" :D (guns people, guns).

Oh, suits and ties are coming back so I wouldn't worry about what other people think :).

Wayne
 
man, what churches are you all going to? i must be in the wrong one.


i can't even find anyone willing to be paid to violate my personal space.
 
I've never had anybody who was even slightly curious, even when I was carrying openly that I know of. If anyone ever asks, I'll either tell them, or tell them none of their business.
 
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