Idiots at the gun counter, and other humorous notes

F

fastforty

New member
Ok, I finally witnessed one worth sharing. (If you can FIND any worth in it.) Can anyone top this? (I KNOW you can!)

Location: WalMart gun counter.
Time: About 2:20pm.
Subject: 4 Wanna-be gangbangers.

Subject: "I wanna see a RIFLE."
Clerk: "What kind of rifle are you interested in?"
Subject: "I seen it here a couple weeks ago. It's a .54 caliber, just like THAT one."
Clerk: "THAT'S a tube-fed .22 semiautomatic."
Subject: "Yeah, I know. It was a tube-fed semiautomatic .54 caliber rifle."
Clerk: "MOST .54 caliber rifles are for BLACK POWDER. They're a single-shot design that you load one shot at a time. They DONT take cartridges."
Subject: "Well, it was here the last time I came in."
Clerk: :rolleyes: (Pulls catalog out from under counter) "Maybe you can find it in here."
Subject: "Yeah, it was just like THIS one."
Clerk: (Points at description) "THESE are only available in .22 rimfire. If you want a .54 caliber, you'll hafta choose from (turns page) THESE."
Subject: "Hmmmmm... "They come in .50 caliber too?"
Clerk: "Generally, BLACK POWDER rifles can be ordered in .50 or .54 caliber."
Subject: "The fifties are probly a lot cheaper to shoot, huh?"
Clerk: :rolleyes: "Probably."
Subject: "Ok, THATS what I want. A .50 caliber rifle, just like (turns page) THIS one."
Clerk: "We can't order that for you, maybe you should try a gun store."
Subject: "Well, I just wanted to SEE one. Maybe I'll try [the gun store down the street.]
Clerk: "That'd be your best bet."
Subject: (turning to walk away) "Fifty, that's the WIDTH, right?"
Clerk: "Right." :rolleyes:

Sorry, I missed some of the discussion, I had to keep disappearing around the corner of an isle to keep from LMFAO!!! I caught up to the clerk a few minutes later, while he was stocking a display.

Me: "When you get those .54 caliber tube-fed semiautomatic rifles in, you LET ME KNOW, ok?" :)
Clerk: "You DON'T wanna BE on THAT list." :D
 
Should have sold him the .22 and told him he was out of the .54, but would he take the .45 acp and let it ripen a week in a plain brown bag. Of course if he didn't want to wait he could go down to the local gun store and get the .44 and cut it in half and that way he could shoot it twice as often. I can think of a million more, but I'll stop. Dumber than a box of rocks!
 
Sounds like the herd needs thinning again...

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...defend the 2nd., it protects us all.
No fate but what we make...
 
It's funny, but when I saw the title of this thread, I assumed it would be about idiots BEHIND the gun counter, not in front of it. Maybe a thread on that topic?

For instance, yesterday: At a store I visited, I heard one of the counterdroids tell a potential customer that all the Italian replica guns in this country are made in the same factory, and that Uberti Firearms and Armi San Marco are the same company. Jeeze, buddy, if you don't know, just say you don't know.
 
Once in a K-mart in Pennsylvania, I overheard a clerk explaining the difference between black and modern powder. He started by saying that blackpowder was lower pressure than modern powder, so the two should not be interchanged. Not bad so far, I thought. He then went on to say that you can tell the difference between black and regular powder because black powder always comes in a can or plastic bottle (under LOW pressure) and modern powder comes in bullets (under HIGH pressure). Thought I was going die laughing.....
 
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Noban:
modern powder comes in bullets (under HIGH pressure).[/quote]
Make that two keyboards.
 
Wait til he goes and actually sees a .50 cal semi-auto rifle at the shop down the street, and looks at its price tag.

Gangbanger: "Yo, Ize lookin fo ah fify caliba simi outo rifle."

Shop Owner: "Sounds like a Barrett 82A1 to me... here's one right over here."

Gangbanger: "Wooah dis ting is dope!, Hah much dis ting cauzt?"

Shop Owner: "That'll be $6750.00 plus tax, how would you like to pay for it?"

Gangbanger: "Yeah man, ah I mean no way man, iz you crazy?"
 
...after seeing the price of the Barrett, he runs BACK to Wally World and buys that .22 to hold up the gunshop. Terrible, I could actually believe that happening!

I belive the word for a .54 auto woudl be "phat."


Hueco
 
I'd just sell him the .50 cal black powder rifle (you know, one of those modern-looking ones with the synthetic stocks and all, along with a box of .50 BMG, and tell him it's semi-auto, now go have a ball.
 
I've heard ALOT of ignorance from behind the gun counter. Also heard lots of Rambo crap on "hidden cameras" from these clerks. "Sure, that's a Sniper Rifle, Assault Weapon, etc"...Maybe there should be a trigger lock on some of these guys.
 
I have really only run into a couple of guys I didn't care for at gun shops. One was a plain smart*** with out the "smart" and the other one was a wanna be swat guy. They are no longer employed at the establishment. In fact, the whole group at this particular store/range got a sprucing up a while back. Pretty much all the folks there are ok now,and most of them are more mature.

My wife got me a gift membership to the range there a couple of years ago, and when I went in to shoot my 10/22 one time, the range clerk had assigned hand gunners to the only stations with enough range to shoot rifles. The rest of the whole range was unused, not a soul around. There was no cleaning or maintenence to the ranges going on and when I brought this up, she couldn't get the point. So. I brought this up to the owner and she promptly squared it away. The clerk was her daughter in law, and is also no longer employed there.

The most knowledgable person I ever ran into at one of our local gun counters was a woman. Courteous and honest. She knew her stuff.

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"I learned a thing or two from Charlie,don't you know. You better stay away from Copperhead Road" Steve Earle
 
the following is a TRUE story:
I was in a gun store that sells police supplies and also sells firearms to the public. in strolls a well dressed young man. he steps up to the counter and asks for a box of silver bullets. the clerk (who i was talking with before this guy came in) asks "What caliber?" the young man thinks a minute and says .357 Mag. the clerk reaches for a box of Winchester silver tips and sits them on the counter. the young man opens the box and closely examines one of the rounds. he tries to stratch it with his finger nail, taps it on the counter and asks "Is this bullet REAL silver?". we both look at each other and the clerk says "Naw i believe they are lead with aluminium coverings." the young man replaces the round in the box and says "look you don't understand i need REAL silver bullets!" this clerk is a cool character and i have seen him in action at shooting matches, nothing shakes him. he doesn't miss a beat and says "Why do you need real silver bullets sir?" the young man suddenly gets very intense and looks around then says "VAMPIRES!!" well i almost fell over. this clerk doesn't even crack a smile and calmly says "Are we having vampire trouble around here?" the young man's resulting answer was a long drawn out fantasy about a cell of vampaires that was growing in the southeast US and he had dates and specific locations to prove it. he was sure they knew he was on to them and they were stalking him. we listened intently until we were both sure he was dead serious. there again this clerk is COOL under stress. when the young man paused his story he turned to me and said "You know those silver bullets are restricted aren't they?" "Yeah i said." "You have to go to the sheriffs office to get a permit for them." the young man asked for directions to the sheriff's office and how much the permits were. "Be sure and tell them the story you told us i said!!" he said ok and left.
man and this guy has a .357 at home!!
wheww

you know we laughed about that until i realized that silver bullets aren't for vampires they are for werewolves anybody knows that. LOL
he is crazy, paranoid and stupid. dangerous combo!!!

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Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what is for lunch.
Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the outcome of the vote.
Let he that hath no sword sell his garment and buy one. Luke 22-36
They all hold swords, being expert in war: every man hath his sword upon his thigh because of fear in the night. Song of Solomon 3-8
The man that can keep his head and aims carefully when the situation has gone bad and lead is flying usually wins the fight.

[This message has been edited by riddleofsteel (edited May 26, 2000).]
 
Paul I think it depends on how much for drugs he has sold in the last week.Might pull a roll out and pay cash for it.Isn't that a scary thought?

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beemerb
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world;
and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men
every day who don't know anything and can't read.
-Mark Twain
 
A few of weeks ago I overheard the guy behind the counter at a local store telling some customers that the Winchester Black Talon is not available because it is an armor piercing round. Fortunately (as I had overheard this as well), he was looking for work in other areas.
But on the other side of the counter, a group of young men came in looking for magazines for one of the guy's 'Ruger 9mm'. Had no idea as to the model number, and the clerks moved them away from the pre-ban hi caps because they were aftermarket USA junk (with these guys he should have sold those mags on them) to the post-ban factory mags. They didn't buy, and drone off in a boom car that had more invested into the trunk interior (by the sound of it) than what was put into his own self-protection.
 
True story. I was present at the arrest, so this is no 'well my one cop buddy told me this tale" story (I'm a LEO, btw)...

Gangbanger wannabe goes into a local sporting goods store (right by my house, no less), buys hisself an SKS and two boxes of el cheapo ammo. Goes out to a local city park with his hootchie mama girlfriend and a fellow wannabe gangsta. Loads up, takes aim at a trash can about 10 yards away, and proceeds to cap off about 30 rounds.

Horrified neighors call the police, and we roll down there. At first we're skeptical (okay. man with an assault rifle in the park shooting. uh huh. suuuuuuuuuure). But the dispatchers inform us that they have MULTIPLE calls on this one, so we know its either a conspiracy of witnesses, or its real. So we get there, get all three in custody, and ask what in the H*** this idiot thinks he's doing.

"Practicing," he says, bewildered. "Why? Whats wrong?"

No joke. Best part? 30 rounds at a trash can at 10 yards range. No hits.

Well...at LEAST he was dedicated enough to practice. He needed it.

Mike (surrounded by idiots)



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"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." -Robert Heinlein
 
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by riddleofsteel:
you know we laughed about that until i realized that silver bullets aren't for vampires they are for werewolves anybody knows that. LOL
he is crazy, paranoid and stupid. dangerous combo!!![/quote]

To be fair, certain mythology holds that silver has a caustic effect on vampire flesh, creating wounds that will not heal. Thus, a silver edged weapon or projectile can serve double duty against lycanthropes and the nosferatu. However at close ranges against the latter, a large SuperSoaker full of Holy Water might be far more economical. ;)

As for the original poster's request, the closest thing would be a .55 Boys anti-tank rifle, but these were manual repeaters. You definitely won't find one of those at a WalMart. ;)
 
I've never dealt with silver bullets, but how about gold? Some years ago one of my BILs was working as a security guard. One day during the couse of normal conversation BIL mentions that I'm a reloader. His boss has him bring me six .38 spl cases that he had gold plated. He asked me to make them up as dummies. Dead primmer, no powder and a FMJ bullet. The guy then pays me $30 for half an hours work.
Oh yeah, the reason for gold cartridges? They looked good in the ammo holder on his belt. :rolleyes: What a maroon!

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TFL's official "Curmudgeon Member" and damned proud of it!
 
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