Welcome to the Firing Line!
Enjoy yourself shooting! Thats what it is all about, for many of us. Just a word of caution, beware of information overload here on the forum!
It can be a bit bewildering for a new shooter. But don't worry, just take your time, and sort out what you need from what you don't.
No one here began as an expert or as a great shot, although its been so long for some that they may forget it.
All the advice given is good, well meant, and has proven efective with lots of folks for many years. And I'll add my $.02. Take it slowly, like eating an elelphant. One small bite at a time. And don't force things. All the different things, stance, grip, sight alignment, trigger pull, etc., are all important, but not so important as the overall enjoyment of what you are doing.
Remember when you were learning to drive (and if you don't drive, you do something else involving mulitple motor skills, right?)? Even though you knew what to do, every time you drove you were a little nervous inside, right? As time went on, that went away, and now you don't even think about all the little motions you use to run the car, you think about driving. It s the same with shooting (and a lot of other things too!).
With handguns, it usually isn't the actual physical force of the recoil that bothers beginners, its the sudden loud noise (mostly), and the jump of the gun together. Good hearing protection, correctly worn is most important, even when shooting .22s.
Women's upper body and arm strength can make a difference, but only in the amount of time and practice needed to reach the same level of ability holding the gun as bigger, stronger folks. And everyone is an individual in this regard. My mother was 4'11 (and a half!) and just barely 100lbs, but she learned to shoot Dad's S&W .357 magnum (model 28 6", a large, heavy revolver) quite tolerably well. And she was deadly accurate with her Ruger Super Bearcat .22!
If you can afford professional instruction, by all means get some. But don't obsess if you can't. Millions of us have grown to become good shots without it. Take a stance that feels comfortable to you. it doesn't matter if it isn't "right", as long as you can control the gun and hit the target, then its as "right" as it needs to be. Again, don't obsess over it.
Accuracy is about doing the same thing every time. When you get to that point, then you can fine tune things.
I always recommend a .22 for all beginners. What you are doing is very common, and the cure is also. Practice, without pressure. Don't rush. don't fret. Don't even think about what the gun will do, just focus on that front sight and squeeze. Learn to squeeze the trigger with only the trigger finger. Dry firing will help with that. Lots of us unconciously squeeze with the whole hand. That is what is most likely what is giving you trouble at this point.
Know that these things take time, and everyone improves at their own pace. Just relax and enjoy the fun of shooting. Make a little change to your style, and see what happens. Keep it up until you don't think about it anymore. Then if you still need to, make another change.
Again, welcome to the Forum, and ask anything you want. We're here to help.